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Approved Character [Skeleton Ensemble] Mastermind Whisper Nine Four

Malefic

Malefic

Inactive Member
Incoming block of text!

Ladies, gentlemen, I introduce to you the Mastermind!

It should be noted that included within this article is a new thing called Liquid Strength that Whisper has created. I wasn't sure if I should put this here with the character, or in the setting and plot section. I figured I'd put it here, since it has primarily to do with Whisper, and Whisper alone.

I have been in more or less constant contact with @Primitive Polygon, but he has not seen the final version yet.

I have made reference to a Nepleslian mercenary ship that I've made up, and I've also assumed that it might be plausible that Whisper has received funding from Nepleslia for a super soldier project. Therefore, I hope that @Gunhand4171 approves what I have put in here.

I'm pretty sure that @Ametheliana will end up finding this post, but I figured I'd tag her just in case.
 
I see nowhere were it mentions Nepleslia has funded his super soldier project, just that Whisper wants to do one. I skimmed so maybe I missed it?
 
I don't think I mentioned it specifically, but it's implied. I'll be more clear if I'm asked to.

Also, Whisper has already tried to complete a super soldier project. It has failed, though.
 
I think it's safe to assume a Nepleslian corporation has invested in this, but DIoN (the gov) itself is less likely. Are you expecting the government to have been the ones to invest in Whisper's plan?
 
No, it doesn't have to be the government itself. Just as long as the funding comes from somewhere, it's fine.
 
Okay, I have no problem with a Neplslian corporation having funded this, especially since it was a failed project. But Gunhand's been tagged and he can tell you what he thinks ^-^

Very detailed character, by the by!!
 
Alright, I was trying to be lenient and work though some of the problems by namedropping you some pre-existing lore, but I've got to be honest; This is still a seriously powerful and influential being for a guy that just came out of nowhere. Still has potential, but there are a couple of things that I can see still need changing right off the bat.

  • "Once he awoke, Whisper would find that he now had an eager team of twenty or so specialized geneticists awaiting his permission to assist him with this new project" Could you please at least mention him consulting some fellows over the polysentience, spreading his ideas that way?... I find it a bit over the top that he literally recruited a team of genetic researchers in his sleep, without even asking.
  • "Badly deformed, Whisper had lost all functionality of his legs, his lungs, and his eyes." / "their leader still drew breath, just barely enough to survive." I'm guessing you meant some functionality, and not all functionality...
  • Since his history went from 'works for the Viridian Array' to literally 'attacked a Viridian Array member and left', I hope you realize this means the organisation is going to remember that down in the line, in RP...
  • The skills... Being great in three fields of science in fine. He's a scientist, so no problems there. But the idea of him also being a natural soldier is going a bit far, don't you think? I was pretty much okay with this whole idea because I thought he was going to be just physically powerful, but untrained and rather scatterbrained in his ideas of combat... Most actual soldier characters at least have a specific focus, like melee, sniping, defense or explosives, even. Paperwork is not a downside in a race that can effectively use the internet for uploading and downloading memories.... Yeah, this guy actually needs some downsides and areas of inexperience, otherwise he really isn't going to have anywhere to grow during actual RP... The one downside I did notice by omission is that you didn't mention if he can actually fly a spacecraft or not, but that just makes me wonder how a giant creepy cyborg is enlisting so many free rides. What's he doing? Trading his skills doing maintenance to get by, or what?...

Sorry, but as it stands, this submission is pending some changes still.
 
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@Primitive Polygon the changes have been made!

1. Changed to Whisper advertising his need for a genetics team. The reason why I originally had him wake up to a team was because I figured that most of the team that was already working with him on improving the genetics development of Freespacers to join him here as well. I'd thought that already knowing his proficiency and talent for genetics, many of the geneticists would be excited to get the opportunity to work on a project he himself had created.

2. Changed the typo to "...most functionality in his lungs." Thanks for the correction.

3. No changes. I understand that the Viridian Array has some ill will towards Whisper now, and I'm fine with that. But I didn't think a single case of aggravated assault would be enough to kick him entirely from the faction. He should still theoretically be a part of it. The primary part of his punishment was that the Viridian Array halted his research, confiscated most of his equipment and money, then basically forced him to leave the area permanently. Him leaving was not leaving the Viridian Array, rather, it was just him leaving the spaceship that he was researching aboard.

4. Changed Communications to Chemistry, swapped it with Fighting and gave him a specialty in fighting. That makes sense. I've nerfed his combat ability, and have made sure to specify that most of his "skill" comes from being able to hit harder. I specified that he used two SMGs and one pistol to fight. He has a cane too, but he's not trained in how to use it as far as a fighting style or anything. Also, Whisper was never intended to be able to pilot anything. I'm not sure if "Technology Operation" typically describes being able to pilot, but my intent when putting this down for Whisper was just to ensure he could use the equipment he designed or others related to it. As far as how he's getting to Port Hope, I think that Whisper would be a damn good doctor aboard any ship, and so he'd sell his services as such or as a scientist to any that would take him.

Is that sufficient?
 
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It's better. Perhaps one or two more minor things could do with being more specific. Like the fact that it doesn't actually seem you've mentioned which Nekovalkyrja model he has similar healing to... Some of the old ones were crazy powerful! If it's like the new kind where it takes a day to regrow a limb, though, that's not too bad...

This ties into what he actually knows about such subject matter in the first place, mind. At least one Neko did defect to the free state pre-genocide, so there should be at least some available information, but if you're going to assume that he knows all of the ins and outs of modern neko workings completely, that definitely isn't something which has happened in RP. I'd have to ping Wes at least.

Perhaps that could simply be one of his goals, as in something he is working towards during the plot, instead of before it. Would that be okay?

@Cordinarr! I could do with your eyes on this too!
 
Damn, I was hoping I wouldn't have to look through the massive lore of the Neko x_x'

Changed to Type 33 Neko regeneration, which can regenerate limbs in 36 hours. That's plenty good for me.

As far as what he knows, he would probably know as much as he possibly could by cooperating with the Nepleslians. I don't want to say he knows everything about them, because that seems pretty over the top, but I think he'd know a large amount of general information about the Nekovalkyjra as a whole, and then most of the latest Neko (Type 33 if I'm not mistaken.)

I'm sure Whisper would be pleased to learn anything he could about Nekos!

@Wes is this alright by you?
 
No. This character is already pretty overpowered enough. I think having expertise on the biology of the Star Army's Nekovalkyrja is over the top. You can't have everything! :)

I trust Polygon's advice on this character, listen to him.
 
Well, that's the verdict... And to be fair, we haven't even really talked about "Liquid Strength" yet, since the article isn't too complicated, but still super vague. I understand y'all probably haven't read up much on the finer points of spacer genetic engineering, so that's probably a given, but yeah. This is really kind of the reason why people tend to create less meta-knowledged characters until they are actually knowledgeable about the faction. >_>

There is also the issue of this kinda fella being alongside considerably more chill scientist characters, which means I have the other players to think of and all.

Did you look into Zack's USO / 188604 plots at all? I'm only mentioning them because they are considerably more action orientated, and they do allow spacers... Heck, the Wire Guided's genetic engineering facility is based there, and it is where they built the Liquid Ally in the first place. Just an option that we never really talked about.
 
Alright, I finally found time to weigh in.

I'm going to stand by Wes and Primitive on this one. Neko tech is something that is closely guarded (or at least, I think it would be) by Yamatai. It's their bread and butter, it's their muscle, it's their flavor, any faint whiff that someone else might have a slight idea about how it works...well, that thread doesn't go to far or last too long. Plus getting their Yamatai tech in your Freespacer tech is like getting their peas in your mashed potatoes. It could work, but it looks weird, tastes funny, and wouldn't you rather enjoy them both on their own? I would.

In regards, the final decision is up to Primitive on this one, but I don't think the Array would be welcoming back a member that attacked and throttled their own teammate, let alone Whisper strangling his own second in command. Whether or not is was justified, harming a teammate/co-worker/lab cohort/study buddy/blood brother is generally universally frowned upon. Failing to deliver the expected results, failing to deliver the correct results in the allotted time, spending all of the grant money, general negligence of resources, etc. these are all acceptable reasons to have your project shut down without dismissal. Aggravated assault, as you put it, is more than enough of a reason to cause an expulsion from a professional group. Cadres function a little more...aggressively if they feel like it, and some more so than others. Viridian Array is one of those "more so than others", being peacefully dismissed from the Array and it's fold (but not the Freespacers as a whole, we're family after all) would probably be getting off lightly.

I think that's about all I have to add to the conversation for now.
 
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@Wes Fair enough. Is Whisper allowed to know at least a little about the NH-33? More for backstory and general character integrity, I doubt I'll do anything with it unless I learn more later on.

@Primitive Polygon As far as Whisper's personality, he doesn't have to be completely evil. Adjustments can be made. He's more condescending than anything else. Even so, I've decided to try to get him into the Psychopomp plot, I've been chatting with @Ace and @Talarn about it, and they seem on board if I'm not mistaken.

@Cordinarr What you say makes sense. Hmmn. I guess Whisper isn't part of the Viridian Array any longer. That's fine by me.
 
Fair enough dude; I was actually talking about him being more action orientated, not outright crazy-evil! The Skeleton has mostly ended up as a mystery plot, so I wasn't sure about the fit, is all. He's allowed to be a jerk if you want him to be, of course!

The assets on 188604 are important to the spacer's future, and could do with some new developments. Could even start up a brand new plot to do with it. I'm not just trying to pass you off to somebody else.
 
Don't worry about it, no problem. :D

I just think that Psychopomp fits Whisper damn near perfectly.

Genetics modifications? Crime? Mercenaries? Super soldiers? Check, check, check, check.
 
Erm, so, could we get Whisper approved please? Or advice on what to change next at least?

I've made all the relevant changes based on what was mentioned on this thread thus far.
 
Is this character still going towards Skeleton Ensemble or Psychopomp? If it's the latter, you may want to edit the ending of his history and Current Placement because it still puts him at Port Hope following a mysterious signal and with SE.
 
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