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Approved Submission (6-Line) All Arms Call For Fire

DJ P4NTSL3SS

DJ P4NTSL3SS

Inactive Member
  • Submission Type: Lore/Setting, Nepleslian Military
  • Template Used: inspired by the 7-Line medical request
  • Submission WIP URL: Link
  • Unapproved Sub-Articles: No
  • Contains New Art: No
  • Previously Submitted: No
  • Notes: This was inspired by Wes' 7-Line medical request. It is based upon the real guidelines employed by US military JTACs and FAC(A)s. I don't see this as greatly impacting any actual functional play, or how Nepleslia interacts with other factions. It could best be considered something akin to a culture article and something that all Nepleslian Marines and sailors would be trained in or have ready access to the training for.
 
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Do not use any Yamataian examples in the last section. It makes me feel like this is too much of a copy paste job. Please find a way to add really interesting content that is Nepleslia-geared either in the reformed examples or in the rest of the article, too.
 
Ametheliana said:
Do not use any Yamataian examples in the last section. It makes me feel like this is too much of a copy paste job. Please find a way to add really interesting content that is Nepleslia-geared either in the reformed examples or in the rest of the article, too.
Click to expand...

Are you speaking in regards to the call-sign of the requesting unit in the examples? The call-sign being used is that of the 309th plot's Maximus tank. Not a Yamataian unit. If that is what you are referring to, would a simple name change suffice?
 
I clicked the wrong link... I literally clicked the template link.

This is as extensive as I would want it. I will read it over tonight.
 
This contains too much jargon that is hard to digest and understand. Make things more clear and understandable to an outsider or someone that wants to skim a few paragraphs and not this amount of information.
 
Please avoid using those extra horizontal lines in articles.
 
If you need any help with this submission hit me up, I've done a lot of ATC training for simulation communities I've been in (VATSIM etc) so of you need a co-author or a second eye you can fire a request my way :)
 
@Ametheliana
I was working on a re-write and I was just wondering where-abouts do you feel the technical language is too much? I want to know so I can stream-line it a bit without losing too much of the other content.


Ethereal said:
If you need any help with this submission hit me up, I've done a lot of ATC training for simulation communities I've been in (VATSIM etc) so of you need a co-author or a second eye you can fire a request my way :)
Click to expand...

I see what you did there . . .
 
Controls seems to take up the bulk of the article but you don't explain controls before bouncing into explaining them. Take some of the explanations out of each of them and put them into an intro paragraph for controls.
 
Not sure my input really matters, Or is wanted. But i have FRO training for when i was deployed to Afghanistan to work in concert with marines. It feels familiar and simple enough without having to put in 8 coordinate grid square information, Reading off of map-tools, Having to fight up the COC or having to use reference marks. Without also seeming too intricately complex that it boggles the mind so long as you know what you're looking at.

That being said it does look somewhat intimidating to someone whose likely never so much as picked up a Beofeng, Or received even the most basic of amateur radio operations instruction.
 
Change-Log
- Added a paragraph explaining the purpose of control types, and where in the 6-line they are designated.
- Simplified the description of all control types listed, using bullet points as a means of determining the point of each at a glance.

@Ametheliana
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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