What's new
  • If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at [email protected] or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
  • 📅 April 2024 is YE 46.3 in the RP.

Approved Character Alex Burning

Toshiro

Toshiro

Well-Known Member
A character I was considering before I left the site, but never finished. Thanks to all of those who helped me come up with a decent last name by the way.

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... ex_burning

I notice that someone else also has an Alex submitted. I hope this is okay, because I really like the name and how it fits with the character...

This is mostly a character for me to have fun with rather than use in any particular military plot, by the way. We'll just see how it goes. ^^
 
Well, in the Physical Characteristics you mention "Irish Blood"

It's my understanding that any memory of Earth, past present or future, doesn't exist. For the sake of canon I think that'll have to go...
 
From my understanding the knowledge of it has fallen into the realm of legend, but maybe that view has changed since I've been away?

Either way, removed the Irish blood thing.
 
He may not be able to use the country name, but the Irish do have a distinct feature set...maybe falling back on just describing the features as they are instead of referring to a 'shortcut term' would work better, though.

I can't remember where I heard it, but someone told me that instead of comparing your [insert item, character, or activity here] with something that's already around, try describing it as it is.

"You don't advertise your product by comparing it with someone else's. That just makes people think of that other product, which is not what you want."

Heh, seems certain fast food chains are ignoring that piece of advice, if their recent commercials are any indication. But that's way off topic...
 
As far as I understand, There are no rules against being a Yamataian in the Nepleslian Airbike circuit, but then again the article was written before the Yamataian body was created, and has not been updated since.

Other than that, she seems like a good, solid character, with a very lengthy history.

I personally think that you should try to condense the history, as it is quite long and difficult to read through, but that is not completely necessary.

Why does the page say her last name is Burning, but her family's last names are all Browning?

I'll give this another day or so for more comments.
 
The Browning thing was an error, and thanks for pointing it out. I've changed them to Burning.

What specific parts of the history need shrunken down, you think?
 
I couldn't tell you exactly where to condense it, as that's not my Job and I don't know what parts you need to coherently tell her story.

If you don't want to condense it, then that is fine, I just feel that some condensing could be helpful.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
Back
Top