This review is for: Helka Alpha Star System
The submitted article is/has…
[Eh] A very high level of overall quality
[Y] A general topic sentence under the title header
[No?] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[N/A] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[N] In the proper format/template
[N] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[Y] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[N] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[Y] No red and/or broken links
[X] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[Y] Reasonably neutral point of view
The submitted article is/does not…
[X] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[N] Obtusely redundant
[N] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[N] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[N] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[N] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[N] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[N] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[Y] Lacking Detail
[N] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)
The article has…
[N/A] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[N/A] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[N/A] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[N/A] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.
Summary
Several things caught my eye in this submission-
What is this "semi-naturally occurring stellar gate"? Additionally, how is it "kept safe by man made structures?"
Please link to all the military starships listed in the "Military and Security Forces In-System" section. Especially the larger ships.
Please follow the template.
The large chart says there is only one asteroid belt, but the "Mining Operations" section states that there are two asteroid belts-please rectify this.
There are a few grammatical errors scattered about the article, please fix them- a few examples (but not all instances) are the following:
-Incomplete sentence: "Pulling some minute percentage of
Callenite from the rock or earth, however other raw materials are also sought."
-Change "have" to "has": "From simple consumer electronics, to main battle tanks, to kilometer sized space infrastructure, the Valmet Sector of the Colonial Pact have the capability to produce anything that the rest of the vast faction can on site."
-Remove "those": "The largest yards, those capable of producing star system infrastructure such as station sections and capital warships, are clustered around Leningrad and Faust."
Status: Pending
I intend to finish this review by: October 6, 2017 (10/6/2017)
