What's new
  • If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at [email protected] or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
  • 📅 April 2024 is YE 46.3 in the RP.

Rejected Submission [Lorath] Val'ta Long Range Scout Ship

paladinrpg

paladinrpg

Well-Known Member
Submission Type: Starship
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:lorath:starship:valta-class
Submission Destination URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:lorath:starship:valta-class

Faction: Lorath Matriarchy/Lazarus Consortium
FM Approved Yet? (Yes/No; Who, When) Yes, it was approved at the start of the LSDF Val'ta plot
Faction requires art? (Yes/No) No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (Yes/No) Possibly
Contains New art? (Yes/No) Yes
Previously Submitted? (Yes/No; explain reason if rejected) No (?)

Notes: Even though this ship featured in Luca's very prominent Lorath Matriarchy exploration plotline with multiple threads to show for it, I can't for the life of me find the ship's submission anywhere on the NTSE currently! As such, I'm willing to take it upon myself to see what this might need to be fleshed out with the remaining subsystems in order to be fully approved & canonized, and possibly used for another purpose down the line by surviving Lorath elements (such as those now a part of Nepleslia). :)
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
This suggestion has been closed. Votes are no longer accepted.
that was because there is a still a ban on ‘bag of holding’ style technology. In the past it had been made pretty clear this wouldn’t pass with the volumetric compression stuff included.
 
Zack said:
that was because there is a still a ban on ‘bag of holding’ style technology. In the past it had been made pretty clear this wouldn’t pass with the volumetric compression stuff included.
Click to expand...

Would you mind linking the thread in which this was discussed, please?
 
I'm going to be following this thread since I've got some ideas regarding matter compression/conversion (like with the Mindy Dorsal module) which I want to use. Would be good to know the line where something becomes unapprovable.
 
It would be DRv3 11 or 12

It has red links - fix those

Please rename "Attack and Defence Systems" to "Weapons Systems"

I'm sure you know this entire section needs changing:
Faster-Than-Light travel
AN-338 Dedicated Gap Drive (Hyperspace fold; point to point)
Charging Time: 7 seconds seconds (for max travel)
Cooldown: 20 seconds
Maximum Range: 777 Astronomical Units
Maximum Jump Duration: 6 seconds
Enhanced Subspace Wave Drive (Subspace wave; High speed A to B for interception purposes, extruded via plasma wake for greater efficiency)
Maximum Acceleration: 342,980 c (0.6 ly/m)
Maximum Range: 15 Light Years
Maximum Jump Duration: 46 minutes

Sorry, Arbs, I think that just me scanning while I have the time and telling you and Paladin what can change is A-OK. I don't plan to follow up unless there are questions, so tag me if you do have any about what I said or otherwise. Reworded: I'm not taking this sub from Arbs I'm just commenting.
 
I'm not gonna link it or anything (those who want to investigate can) but the Val'ta and its technology left the universe and still exist as another universe's primary Lorath plot ship.

Wondering if this is a SARP submission anymore, that's all.
 
From all the feedback I'm getting so far, I think AJ has the best take on it. I just feel that since it was used in a historical, canon plot, that the article itself should be considered canon, and right now it seems it is not.
 
This review is for: The Valta long range scout ship

The submitted article is/has…
[Y Holy crap this thing's well done ] A very high level of overall quality
[Y ] A general topic sentence under the title header
[Y ] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[Y ] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[Y ] In the proper format/template
[Y ] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[N-So damn long ] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[N ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[N ] No red and/or broken links
[Y ] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[Y ] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[Maybe ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[N ] Obtusely redundant
[N ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[??? ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[N ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[N ] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[Y ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[N ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[N ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[N ] Lacking Detail
[N ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[N ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[N ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[Y ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[Y ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
HOT DANG THIS ARTICLE IS HUGE *ahem*

One thing I've noted is that the DR setup seems to be incomplete. Additionally, it seems some people were erm... Chatting? With each other on the page, especially further down. It would be best to clean that up.

The ship uses Zesuanium and Aether, I'm not 100% up to snuff on Lorath technology but I would like clarification from @Wes in regards to that technology.

There's a couple of red links, of course-and it would be appreciated if the volumetric compression was linked much earlier on the page than when i had found it.

Status: Pending

Notes
I appreciate the attempt to get this ship submitted! Really, the article itself is very impressive.

I intend to finish this review by: I'm honestly not sure. We'll put the date at December First just to make sure you have plenty of time to clean up this monster of an article.
 
I'm still a little unsure if this needs to be completed, as said before this ship does exist outside of the SARP universe now, and doing so may be creating an unnecessary political issue. If you don't believe that is the case, I will try to make the obvious improvements indicated... though the "space compression" concept is fairly difficult to remove entirely from it, as that was demonstrated in RP to exist, but now cannot be passed with that as a core component? I suppose we can handwave it away as Lazarus black box tech and reduce the capacity for vehicles or something else to compensate for the lost space?
 
As was said before, I think this should be finished for historical reasons at the very least. Regarding the spatial compression technology though, I suggest balancing it out in some way to compensate. Take for example, some of the properties of the Bag of Holding from DnD/Pathfinder/etc. I don't recall if it was ever gone over in the Val'ta's RP, but what if having the room breached while active resulted in something catastrophic?
 
I feel like spacial compression is a useful technology that at the end of the day only removes the need to have a cargo ship follow you around, personally. I'd like to see it incorporated because it doesn't break the setting, works in universe and opens up a plethora of unique designs and technologies. Nothing that can be done with a few freighters.
 
Having something like that is a huge advantage, being able to go far longer without resupply and so on and so forth, but for this reason, I believe it should have a proper tradeoff. Thinking about it, I believe that in addition to being potentially destructive if damaged while active, it should have a very large power draw when in use. I'm sure there are other good ideas worth playing around with, but these should be good starting points.
 
What's all this worry about the compression? I'm just asking for it to be linked when it's first mentioned, since it was linked further down.
The stuff that's worrying me technology wise is the Zesu/Aether stuff... which still needs clarification from @Wes
 
Blah

Everything is wrong!

Space doesn’t have anything. The only thing space has a lot of is space. Bringing more space into space is like bringing sand to a beach planet. Space is literally the only thing space has a lot of.

What spaceships are concerned about is mass, and space compression would be both mass and energy intensive. Ontop of that we would be solving a very easy problem with what is basically magic which is not a great thing to do in the setting.

The ship didn’t get submitted, likely because the ship wouldn’t pass approval. You should probably put your efforts elsewhere.
 
It could be cool to approve. Nepleslia could make a bunch of Val'ta for their Lorath diaspora at the 3,000+ shipyards also left behind in their care.

EDIT: Historical concerns are a little overblown. The RP exists and so does the Val'ta's history page.
 
Last edited:
Zack said:
Blah

Everything is wrong!

Space doesn’t have anything. The only thing space has a lot of is space. Bringing more space into space is like bringing sand to a beach planet. Space is literally the only thing space has a lot of.
Click to expand...

Okay...?

Zack said:
What spaceships are concerned about is mass, and space compression would be both mass and energy intensive. Ontop of that we would be solving a very easy problem with what is basically magic which is not a great thing to do in the setting.
Click to expand...

In my opinion, something as mundane as compressing matter seems far less "magical" then something like the Super Vogel @Zack.

Zack said:
The ship didn’t get submitted, likely because the ship wouldn’t pass approval.
Click to expand...

Given that you're not a NTSE moderator, what qualifies you to say this, @Zack?

Zack said:
You should probably put your efforts elsewhere.
Click to expand...

Why are you - in my opinion - being extremely rude towards @paladinrpg, @Zack?
 
RPG-D RPGfix
Back
Top