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RP: YSS Heartbreaker [Mission 3 Aside 4] Confidence

Edto Xar'Sivaree

Lizard Freak!
Inactive Member
YSS Heartbreaker Lounge, 1 week 4 days after M3, Evening

Edtoto had wandered around the ship for a few hours, trying to talk to people as usual now that she was capable of doing so without her Respirator and making people wholly uncomfortable. Eventually, she found herself in the lounge area, wondering if anyone was around. She hadn't seen some people in a while... Walking in, she noticed Hasewega was already sitting in one of the lounge chairs, staring off into space as Edtoto entered. She looked over at the ambassador for a moment, her eyes slightly red and sullen before turning back to the nothingness. She reached and took a swig from a tea that already reached room temperature right next to her before speaking. "Sorry about your arm."

Edtoto looked at Hasewega with a look of mild concern, seeing the dead eyes. Her IR was off as well, looking abnormally dark for a Yamataian. "Thank you Hasewega-Santo Hei. Thankfully, my kind has not lost their ability to recover from that" She explained, weakly holding up her new arm. She walked over and sat in a chair beside the Minkan in another chair. "How have you been since the mission? You don't look very good" She asked, leaning back in her chair.

Hasewega tapped her finger on the cup as she thought up an excuse. "I've... been better. So to speak." she took another small sip, trying not make any eye contact Edtoto or towards the new arm. Her voice sounded drawn out and empty as she spoke. "Sorry, just a little a stressed out is all. Nothing important." She went silent for a moment. "Sorry about your arm."

Edtoto listened and nodded, slowly starting to get an idea of what was going on. Hasewega appeared to be fixated on Edtoto's arm, so she must have been bothered by the Mission. "You know..." She started, making herself look out into the nothingness with her impromptu comrade. "After the mission, I was stuck in Medical. I could sleep, couldn't eat. I was terrified that I was going to be recycled like they do on my Station. Maimed citizens are a strain on resources, so it only makes sense to get rid of them so as to help the station as a whole. I was in there for a week before I snuck out through a vent and curled up in the communications array" She explained.

"Among my kind we have a state known as Feral. It's where the stress of the station gets to such a point that our brains just can't handle it anymore. I walked a little too close to that line. Taii had to crawl through the maintenance hatch and talk to me, upside down, with her hair all over the place and get me to crawl out. I almost even attacked her. I begged her not to recycle me and told her I would just live in the array. No one would have to see me ever again. Not exactly my proudest moment for sure. I think about it, though, and I can't help but laugh at how silly the Taii looked with her hair all messed up, sternly talking to me while upside down" She grinned, looking for a reaction from the Minkan.

The minkan nodded and seemed to have a smile a crack along her face for a moment before she had time to think and let the smile fade. "Yeah, I guess can understand your fear of the predicament you were in. Well, what I put you in actuality. That all wouldn't have happened if I was paying attention and didn't hesitate when then android burst in." She took a sip from the audibly empty cup of tea. "I guess you can say I'm close to that right now..." She looked before speaking. "I'm sorry, I'm making all of this about me. I'm glad you were able to work something out with the Taii though. Heard you finally got a cabin for yourself now."

Edtoto continued to listen, getting up and taking the empty cup from the soldier. Without said a word she filled it at the comfort module, and laid it back down on the table where the ring it left previously was. "Don't worry about making it about yourself. We all need moments to ourselves now and then, and sometimes it's nice when other people listen to what you have to say" She explained, sitting back down. "But it's not your fault. My arm, the Android, so much went wrong, but no one is dead" She said, thinking for a moment.

"I volunteered to go onto the ship with the team. I put the team at tremendous risk given their orders. I also failed to keep the Android locked out, which allowed them to re-enter the bridge after I had successfully kicked them out. I entered the bridge knowing full well it went against my protocols regarding Yamatai ships, given to me by the Taii" She continued, tapping some of her nails together. "From what I understand, Minkans and Neko's are often much younger than they appear. They're made and immediately sent out into battle with nothing but protocol and fancy books. I would hate that, and I feel I would be completely incapable as a soldier. I feel sorry that Yamatai does that to their soldiers, but I am nothing but an endangered refugee. My room was a realization from the Taii, made because I started causing a problem due to Moral. You though? I would be dead were it not for you slowing down the Android. If it counts for anything, I'm sorry you suffered for my mistakes" She finished.

"I'm fairly sure I barely winged it with my shot," Hasewega said, looking over at thew new filled cup of tea. "I probably did more damage to the deck than anything else the entire time. You, on the other hand, bought some time for the rest of team to ready up and probably hit it a couple more times while I was on the deck." She reached over and took the cup, giving a slight blow to cool it down before taking a sip. "You have a point, though, about some soldiers being unprepared for this. I thought I would be, after everything my father put me through. I guess I wasn't..." She looked over at Edtoto for the first time. "Whatever did happen to that Android?"

"Taii has it under control" She explained, feeling she wasn't quite getting where she was trying to get with the conversation. She stood up, not wanting to give up and mentally reviewed her studies on Yamatai. She wanted to try one more thing, one she knew would have several different responses. "Come here..." She said as reached over and took Hasewega's hand lightly, pulling to her feet. Even with her weak arm, Edtoto willed herself to bring the poor girl into a deep hug. "You have nothing to be ashamed of..." She whispered, just holding the girl.

Hasewega didn't put much resistance being pulled but also didn't hug back at first. Her back stiffened, and she inhaled sharply as if she was in shock or pain for a moment before beginning to weep softly over Edtoto and hugging back. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." She let in between sobs. "I thought I'd be strong enough for this, but I wasn't... I wish I were still up when the Android charged in; I could've taken the blow for you as I should've but I..." she choked up and continued crying.

Edtoto just held on, slowly bringing the Minkan to the floor. "I know... I know you are sorry Hasewega, and it means a lot to me. I accept your apology, but strength sometimes isn't dictated by success. It's dictated by how you react to various screw ups, shortcomings, and failing even when you try your absolute best. We were up against a being who had one prerogative. One that made your job so much harder. I am sure no one blames you for what happened, as everyone failed. We all could have done better, and we will learn from that and move on" She said, rocking back and forth a little.

"I know, but I should've done better at protecting you... At protecting everyone..." The minkan held Edtoto tighter as she spoke. "First, we lost the Shoi, the head of the mission then I nearly put you in harm's way trying to take you outside of the bridge, and then everything happened, but I just was just... useless! The entire time!" She broke away from the ambassador for the moment and looked over at her, her eyes puffy and red. "Edtoto, am I a bad soldier for failing the entire time?"

"No... No, you are not a bad fighter. I could list off a million reasons as to why you were no worse than any other soldier on that team" She stated, her voice going surprisingly firm. "The Shoi got hit. From what I have read about the Nekovalkirya, she should have been ten times as capable as you are, yet you got out of that situation, and she didn't. As for putting me in harms way? You asked a question and were given an answer. I am not a combatant even with my race. I am logistics and command. You wouldn't likely know that. As for being the first one down? That time I bought the team meant nothing. It took out Bettie the second the doors were opened, who had time to prepare, who could utilize my acquired time, and didn't even flinch when Ingrid shot at it" She said, sounding a little angry now.

"You tell me you're a bad soldier? After that shit show, I would think that you're a better soldier than everyone else on this ship because they wouldn't be sorry for what happened. Just another day on the job for them. Honestly, you're the only one who has apologized for my arm since the mission, and in my eyes, you have the least to apologize for. Mistakes make some of the greatest soldiers in space, and those who survive them become even more significant. Why? Because they learn. You learned I hope you will continue to learn. You are far from a bad soldier Hasewega... Far from it" The Vekimen finished her stern tone remaining firm.

Hasewega stared silently for a moment before nodding and looking away. "I... Understand." She nodded a couple more times before staring off into the middle distance for a bit, mulling over everything she was told in her head. She tried speaking for a moment but only let out a small squeak from her throat. She reached up and grabbed her cup of tea before taking a sip. "Thank you, Edtoto."

"What are you thanking me for? I've done you no favor other than telling you the truth" She smiled, standing up and holding out her hand. "Get up... let's get you cleaned" She said, her tail swaying behind and picking up a cloth from the sink that was there.

Hasewega looked up at the Vekimen before pulling herself with the offered hand, actually smiling for once. Edtoto grinned seeing the smile. "You look lovely when you smile by the way... For an Alien" She teased, using the cloth to start cleaning the minkan's face. "I may not be a soldier with you by uniform, but I am still here to help. You can talk to me whenever.

Hasewega continued to smile and even chuckled a little as Edtoto started cleaning. "I'm glad I can have someone to confide in... Thank you for this." she said, holding back the tears for right now.

"You are welcome Hasewega... Just try to remember that you can talk to people" She said, before looking at the tea. "Hmm... So how is this tea drink? I've never had it before" She said, looking curiously at the hot drink.

The minkan thought for a moment. "It is... good." she was obviously having some trouble trying to think about words to describe it. "It is kind of like drinking a small cup of hot... water? But there's usually a hint of something like mint or cinnamon. It depends on your prefrence."

Edtoto nodded, then frowned. "My kind can't taste so I guess the appeal may be lost on me. It does smell quite nice though" She grinned, her tongue flicking a little. Mind if I join you as you look into the space? Or maybe play a game or something?" She asked.

Haswega smiled. "Sure, I wouldn't mind the company staring off into space." She said, sittig down and letting Edtoto join her.
 
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