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Approved Submission [Nepleslia] Culture Intro

Ametheliana

Head in the Stars
Staff Member
🌟 Site Supporter
🌸 FM of Yamatai
🎖️ Game Master
Submission Type: Culture page
Template Used: None
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:nepleslia:culture_introduction
Submission Destination URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:nepleslia:culture_introduction

Faction: Nepleslia
FM Approved Yet? No @Gunhand4171
Faction requires art? No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? Yes
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? No

Unapproved Article:
 
Last edited:
This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
Holy shit, I love this so much. It’s hilarious.

Not gonna checklist you yet because I’m IN LECTURE NOT LISTENING but...

Entertainment: Why is the last sentence cut off?

BEST KEBAB: Love it. Too good. : ok_hand:
 
This review is for: Nepleslian Culture Intro Rework

The submitted article is/has…
[ Y ] A very high level of overall quality
  • 8/10. You'll see where I docked 2.
[ Y ] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ N/A ] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[ ? ] Needed and/or useful to the setting
  • There wasn't one before?
[ Y ] In the proper format/template
  • Is there a template for this?
[ Y ] Proofread for spelling and grammar
  • Light check. No glaring flaws.
[ Y ] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
  • However, lacking in meat.
[ Y ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[ Y ] No red and/or broken links
[ Y ] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[ Y ] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[ N ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[ N ] Obtusely redundant
[ N ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[ N ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ N ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[ N ] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[ N ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ Y ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
  • I'll nitpick on this later in Lacking Detail.
[ N ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[ Y ] Lacking Detail
  • Personal opinion: Lots could be expanded on. I know like...nothing about Nepleslia. First glance, no big links really catch my interest (except for BEST KEBABS which sounds so memey.) Also, reorganization can be in order.
  • Suggestion List...begin.
  1. Combine the "Holidays of Nepleslia" into suitable categories, such as Lewis Pasco Day going under Guns as part of their culture.
  2. It would be preferred for each subsection to have examples, such as Religion having example religions Nepleslia follows, linking to sports and recreational articles for Entertainment, examples of cybernetics for Medicine...
  3. You get it. I just don't see enough links to click through.
  4. Except for Technology. You could just put a link to Nepleslian Technology.
[ N ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[ N/A ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[ N/A ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ N/A ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[ N/A ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.



Summary
MOAR ELABORATION


Status: Pending

Notes
Sure, it follows all the requirements...but nothing more, really. Doesn't grab someone's attention. Not very good for prospective Nepleslians.

I intend to finish this review by: 11/11/2017
 
I’m not going to give examples for something like religion because it’s not practiced often enough to be warranted.

Moving the holidays does not seem like it solves any issues and would actually make the article look smaller.

Rest is A OK by me
 
Oh! The Festival of Bullets is missing from holidays!

Children went to and fro, up and down the streets, toting little ammo boxes filled with bullets and candy. As was Nepleslian tradition, the young ones every Nepleslian family went out in a disguise and went door to door, delighted greeting every homeowner with a loud 'Bullets or Boom!'. From there, the homeowner was entitled to give out some bullets, or some candy depending what they had on hand. When rewarded, the 'Bullet-Runners' jogged off excitedly to knock on another door. When denied, usually when rudely denied, the children resorted to 'Boom-tactics', which was really whatever they had to prank or vandalise a home.

This holiday, however, was not always a holiday. The Festival of Bullets was once a simple supply day out of the year. In particular, the holiday got it's start when the youngest of every gang went out in opposing gang colors to go around asking for armament or bullets. Generally it proved to be a successful tactic, but the genuine bullet-runners of yesteryear decided to make it into something more child-friendly for their progeny generation.

Today, the Bullet-Runners in the Festival of Bullets go around in all sorts of costumes. Sometimes they wear old gang colors, military uniforms(even Yamataian), or less run of the mill costumes that had nothing to do with guns. Children ask for candy and bullets, instead of supplies like back in the old days. Shops, which normally kept to the inside of their reinforced walls, had booths outside that sold nice treats. Some stalls, particularly for the children, only accepted bullets for payment.

Why?

Bullets were not just a traditional aspect the holiday, but they also served the purpose of acting as currency on the Festival of Bullets. Children would learn the value of their small-time currency, and even barter and trade among each other, learning to haggle efficiently. Bullets would go for the stall, earning even better treats or items. Sometimes kids would exchange between each other, giving their candy value against the standard bullet, with caliber generally marking value. However, all in all, it was truly up to the individual to how much value that little .45 ACP round had.

If you were an adult, you mostly had to escort the children aboout. Yet, the Festival of Bullets wasn't just for the roving candy gatherers. Some booths and stalls still took DA, and more often than not, store-owners were selling things they didn't sell throughout the year. Rare meats(Like Rader-Gator On A Stick[a popular favorite]), certain candies like Pixie Bars(Solid blocks of flavored sugar[keep out of reach of children]), and even a few alcohols for people of Nepleslian to drink and revel with each other.

From this: https://stararmy.com/roleplay-forum...ween-the-ye-34-2012-festival-of-bullets.8660/
 
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