• If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at [email protected] or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
  • 📅 February and March 2024 are YE 46.2 in the RP.

Approved Submission S6-PC-1A Plasma power core

Jack Pine

Well-Known Member
Submission Type: Power core
Template Used: none
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:uso:section6:s6-pc-1a
Submission Destination URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=:faction:uso:section6:s6-pc-1a

Faction:
FM Approved Yet? (Yes, me: Jack Pine on 3/30/2018 at 6:05am)
Faction requires art? (No)

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (No)
Contains New art? (Yes)
Previously Submitted? (No)

Notes: This is just a standardized power core as a power source for different systems and tech articles I'll be working on. It's more of a fluff article for anything.
 
This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
This review is for: The Plasma Power Core

The submitted article is/has…
[EH] A very high level of overall quality
[Y] A general topic sentence under the title header
[Y] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[Y] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[N/A] In the proper format/template
[N] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[Y] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[Y] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[Y] No red and/or broken links
[Y] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[Y] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[N] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[N] Obtusely redundant
[N] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[N] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[N] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[N] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[N] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[N] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[N] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[Y] Lacking Detail
[N] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[N/A] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[N/A] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[Y] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[Y] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Please go over the article with a spellchecker and review it for grammar; there are minor errors throughout the entire article.

How big is the device? That's pretty important information.

(Missed this my first time:) What's the coolant system for something like this? There should be a way to stop the power core from overheating while in use.
Status: Pending

Notes
The art makes the page feel a bit... Cluttered. I suggest spreading it out a little bit, making an appearance section, and/or shrinking the pictures themselves. (Especially the last one. The pictures are rather large...)

I intend to finish this review by: 4/10/2017
 
Last edited:
Check your use of it's/its.


A heat monitoring system is not the same as a coolant system - thoughit would be recommended to have both, a coolant system would be the parts of the device that help keep it from shutting down, exploding, melting, or generally becoming problematic from high temperatures. Some coolant systems do double as the main direct force upon the generator in real life power plants (water is turned into steam as it cools whatever you're burning, and then that steam is used to turn a turbine. You don't need to specifically do this particular setup, though.)
 
There's no "Revenant power armor" I can see on the wiki, please remove its mention. If you'd like to use some sort of comparison for the gel, please link whatever is referenced in the page itself.
 
Well its page wasn't titled what it was which is why I couldn't find it.


Anyways, this is approved now.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
Back
Top