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Approved Submission Spectre Prototype Power Armor
- Thread starter Rizzo
- Start date
Rizzo
Well-Known Member
And I don't know if it's frowned on to request a reviewer but I really like the way @Ametheliana gives advice.
I'll take it!
Rizzo
Well-Known Member
Yaaaay! 
I need some advice on the GPDs. I gave the rating of PDR5/ADR1 but only because they don't pierce dense armor. The idea is to generate a wave that dumps tons of kinetic force into a target and hopefully send it flying. Any ideas to convey that better?
EDIT: I may have made it better
I need some advice on the GPDs. I gave the rating of PDR5/ADR1 but only because they don't pierce dense armor. The idea is to generate a wave that dumps tons of kinetic force into a target and hopefully send it flying. Any ideas to convey that better?
EDIT: I may have made it better
Last edited:
You're always free to request a reviewer. Staff usually defers to that request. In cases where we can't, it should be a team lift, with your preferred reviewer as part of the team.
1) "...armours shields..." Put an apostrophe on armour's.
2) "Type: custom power armor " Custom should be capitalized.
3) "... the surface of the armour decorated with soft swirling lines." Put is between armour and decorated.
4) Systems Descriptions needs text underneath the header.
5) "...surrounding Human’s and.." humans not Human's.
6) What tier is the entire PA? I see its armor's tiers, but they're both different from one another.
7) You did not use the PA template, which is a problem. I made that template, so I feel guilty for the trouble you're going to go through by making you stick to it, but it is a part of the checklist ([ ] In the proper format/template). I made one for you, you don't have to use it. I'm doing this quickly for you, so I may have forgotten to add something from yours to this one, double check and make sure it's all there. I gave it all a cursory run-through. Regardless, everything you need to get this approved is there! (Fill in some things like advantages, drawbacks, getting in and out.)
8) "...other Volumetric displays..." & "... detecting the Motor and speech areas..." No need to capitalize either of these words.
9) A few times in Interior, you write pilots when it should be pilot's with an apostrophe.
10) "...into the suits water reservoir..."
11) "...drawing of stance" Of should be off.
2) "Type: custom power armor " Custom should be capitalized.
3) "... the surface of the armour decorated with soft swirling lines." Put is between armour and decorated.
4) Systems Descriptions needs text underneath the header.
5) "...surrounding Human’s and.." humans not Human's.
6) What tier is the entire PA? I see its armor's tiers, but they're both different from one another.
7) You did not use the PA template, which is a problem. I made that template, so I feel guilty for the trouble you're going to go through by making you stick to it, but it is a part of the checklist ([ ] In the proper format/template). I made one for you, you don't have to use it. I'm doing this quickly for you, so I may have forgotten to add something from yours to this one, double check and make sure it's all there. I gave it all a cursory run-through. Regardless, everything you need to get this approved is there! (Fill in some things like advantages, drawbacks, getting in and out.)
8) "...other Volumetric displays..." & "... detecting the Motor and speech areas..." No need to capitalize either of these words.
9) A few times in Interior, you write pilots when it should be pilot's with an apostrophe.
10) "...into the suits water reservoir..."
11) "...drawing of stance" Of should be off.
Rizzo
Well-Known Member
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=members:ametheliana:wip:spectre
Thank you so much for stating that page for me! It means a lot to me, I've been working very hard lately and that saved me so much time.
I've also changed just a few items and think I'm ready.
Thank you so much for stating that page for me! It means a lot to me, I've been working very hard lately and that saved me so much time.
I've also changed just a few items and think I'm ready.
"...cover the operator's after sliding in..." The operator's what, exactly?
I'd like to see some more history. You can do it by shuffling around some information, but what was the need? Explain his involvement in USO, perhaps.
I double checked DR after you put the Tier of the PA up and you're good! ^-^
I'd like to see some more history. You can do it by shuffling around some information, but what was the need? Explain his involvement in USO, perhaps.
I double checked DR after you put the Tier of the PA up and you're good! ^-^
Approved
Reverted the article after @Jack Pine made an unauthorized DR edit to increase its stats beyond the approved values of Tier 4.
I think you mean to go to this thread for this wiki. Jack seemed to use the same name that Rizzo chose for a power armor.
I cannot find the approval thread for Project Spectre the armor @Jack Pine made.
I cannot find the approval thread for Project Spectre the armor @Jack Pine made.
