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Approved Submission [The Union] Vekimen Defense Task Force

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Zekec

Zekec

Inactive Member
Submission Type: Organization
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:vekimen_defensive_task_force:military

Faction: The Union
FM Approved Yet? (Yes; Ira, Several days ago when first discussing it, he gave us full creative freedom over adding the Vekimen to the Union and has been ok with what we have done so far.)
Faction requires art? (No)

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (No)
Contains New art? (No)
Previously Submitted? (No)

Notes:
The Vekimen Defense Task Force has already officially become a vassal of sorts to the Union, which Ira greatly approves of. Just wanted to say that to make it clear, that they are under the Union and not becoming their own playable faction.

@Ira
 
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What part of that do you want to include in the article, if any part at all?
 
I 'stand. I will do it whenever you ping me back. I trust you'll get her done.
 
Uploading from my phone what the article looks like.

I saw Kim made some edits but they just made the wrap push down a little but not all the way under the ToC.
 

Attachments

  • IMG_5834.jpg
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Are we still waiting on wrap stuff for this submission?
 
Ametheliana said:
Notes:
Can you try to make a pre YE date of creation? It's really hard to find in the footnotes when it was created in a year format everyone on the site can digest.

Grammar and spelling: (You put ad where and should be, it's instead of its, Vekimens instead of Vekimen's, etc. There are random capitals throughout the article. If something does not start the sent. or is not a proper noun, it prob doesn't need a capitalization. You put /all/ instead of //all//.)

The right wrap infobox needs to be inserted lower, probably after a few paragraphs, to accommodate the ToC. I know ToC cause problems a lot, but this will help.

This refers to Alliance of the Black Sun a lot. Is this a vestigal saying from when the BS was still being formed? Does it need to change to Asteria, now? Or is the alliance going to continue in some different form?
Click to expand...


Still need these things answered for.
 
Ametheliana said:
Still need these things answered for.
Click to expand...

I am fairly sure I went through and corrected the grammar, the ToC is not hindered by the chart anymore, at all, But I ca make the page look worse by putting it on the left. I am going to stick to it looks far better on the right than the left, given it has no ugly blankspaces
 
Sorry meant to take out the right wrap thing in what I quoted, Edto.

Anyway, everything but the spelling and grammar about that statement I replied with needs to get changed.
 
There is a YE date. Look at the number next to SY-01 and you will see 1285 B.Y.E which is BEfore Yamatai Era

I removed the three instances of Black Sun Alliance.
 
Okay but is this template with the wrap approved for usage yet?
 
I can remove the right wrap, but it will make the page look terrible. Ya sure you want me to do it? This layout does function on Mobile

EDIT

I removed the right wrap. The page looks like garbage now, but it's gone, as you asked.
 
It seems like this is less a faction page than it is a setting element detail page due to both the IC arrangement that created "The Union" and the namespace that this is in. So I'm not sure that the faction template would actually make sense.

Still, there's some small issue with the formatting. After some thought (and finally glancing at the ToC), it's because this is organized as a bunch of stub articles smashed together (which, imo, is great in some cases). As a reader and technically potential player, what I'd suggest is that your headers be organized (suggestions are just themes rather than words I think need to be used) like this:
  • Vekimen Defensive Task Force title
    • VDTF Overview/Function/Mission/Brief history
    • Hierarchy of the VDTF
      • Sraralumee
      • Officer
      • Enlisted
    • Organizational Structure
      • Admin
      • Security
      • etc.
      • etc.
A bigger overhaul would probably be best, but that's obviously a whole thing that nobody wants to do. So it's basically just adding a little history/summary section (which every article should probably have right there under the intro) and reorganizing the ranks so that the most important information is at the top. Additionally, I'd probably make all of the Enlisted, Officer, and Admin sub-sub headings small enough that they don't appear on the ToC.

With these changes, you could certainly fit your infobox under the ToC with a right alignment, too (though infoboxes like that are far from required, see the Star Army of Yamatai article).
 
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