Jamesyco51
Inactive Member
@Charmaylarg Dufrain
It's late and been procrastinating a little while trying to work on it, so it's a little rushed to try and get some sleep.
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Approved Character [Aquila Flight ] Sterling Fredrick
- Thread starter Jamesyco51
- Start date
@Charmaylarg Dufrain
It's late and been procrastinating a little while trying to work on it, so it's a little rushed to try and get some sleep.
Charmaylarg Dufrain
🎖️ Game Master
Having some net problems so i cant quite look em over today so get that rest! but i will soon!
Jamesyco51
Inactive Member
no worries, having the same problem, the website has been crashing for me since yesterday.
Jamesyco51
Inactive Member
Its a 500 connection error with the website, but I swapped to that and hopefully that should help.
Charmaylarg Dufrain
🎖️ Game Master
Appologies for the wait! My internet is back completely and im back to doing GM things like reviewing characters!
Now for the review:
He seems pretty fleshed out. Not overly filled out or blank in any sense. Just the right coverage to expand him through RP. There are some basic grammar and spelling mistakes but im not a GM that enforces you master the english language and its grammatical nuances. Some will however.
There is the skill communications. While its fine to use bulletpoints and not use the long text blocks for skills nobody will ever likely read there are other factions you may someday play with that dont all speak english (Called "Trade" for factions like nepleslia). And it isnt required you play Fredrick forever in nepleslia. He may one day fly for yamatai on a transfer program, Or go indipendant or end up anywhere in the sector that might speak a different language.
To fix this ive gone and added ((Trade)) at the end of communications. You can fix this in the future if he ever learns new languages.
I've also removed this bit "(hope to edit in actual name of school)." You can make up a name for a school, I dont think there are many on the wiki to choose from. There are no glaring issues i see. There are minor things that you can fix in your free time like little grammar and spelling bits, Linking the hammerhead once you learn how to link namespaces etc. And what not.
I APPROVE this character for use in aquila flight. Welcome to the navy, Son.
@Jamesyco51
Now for the review:
He seems pretty fleshed out. Not overly filled out or blank in any sense. Just the right coverage to expand him through RP. There are some basic grammar and spelling mistakes but im not a GM that enforces you master the english language and its grammatical nuances. Some will however.
There is the skill communications. While its fine to use bulletpoints and not use the long text blocks for skills nobody will ever likely read there are other factions you may someday play with that dont all speak english (Called "Trade" for factions like nepleslia). And it isnt required you play Fredrick forever in nepleslia. He may one day fly for yamatai on a transfer program, Or go indipendant or end up anywhere in the sector that might speak a different language.
To fix this ive gone and added ((Trade)) at the end of communications. You can fix this in the future if he ever learns new languages.
I've also removed this bit "(hope to edit in actual name of school)." You can make up a name for a school, I dont think there are many on the wiki to choose from. There are no glaring issues i see. There are minor things that you can fix in your free time like little grammar and spelling bits, Linking the hammerhead once you learn how to link namespaces etc. And what not.
I APPROVE this character for use in aquila flight. Welcome to the navy, Son.
@Jamesyco51
Note, Ive made minor edits to your character. Never allow anyone to make edits to your characters/articles without your permission. And any major changes to your character or if you bring your character to a new plot may require you to re-submit him. Meaning comment any changes on this thread, So a new GM can review them again if they so request since he may have changed significantly over the years you may have played him.
Jamesyco51
Inactive Member
