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Awesome Quotes

Tsuruya- "That sounds amazing. We're counting on you Mikuru. Earth is in your pfft-buuhahahhaaaa!!" *bursts into uncontrolled laughter* - Episode 00, Haruhi


Kyon: It would appear that she viewed guys on the same level as potatoes.
Haruhi
 
During recent Medical Exams on the Alliance.

Adrian Decane said:
Adrian didn't even look at him, simply leaning his head a bit. "Listen, newbie. She's a devil woman. I wouldn't subject you to this." With that, he pulled out his .45. "I'm gonna cap that bitch."
Click to expand...
 
The House of Lords is not the watchdog of the constitution; it is Mr Balfour's poodle. It fetches and carries for him. It barks for him. It bites anyone that he sets it on to.

Diplomats were invented simply to waste time.

A fully equipped Duke costs as much to keep up as two Dreadnoughts, and Dukes are just as great a terror, and they last longer.

(The House of Lords comprises...) five hundred men, ordinary men, chosen accidentally from among the unemployed.

-David Lloyd George
 
"You're telling me I take this lobster, put it in a pot of boiling water, and it turns bright red and shrinks?"
"Yes."
"That is the most metal thing anyone has ever told me. High Five!"

Metalocalypse.
 
From JP while Istvan was lying semi conscious from being drugged by Suku.


I think it speaks for it's self
 
"I object to all this sex on the television. I keep getting off!" - Monty Python's Flying Circus.
 
"Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder, treason and plot,
I know of no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot."

From V for Vendetta.

Side note: Check out this Wiki page on November the fifth...all the historical dates. Kinda freaky....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/November_5
 
Heard this one on Phoenix Wrong.

Girl "Nervous?"
Guy "Yes."
Girl "First time?"
Guy "No I've been nervous lots of times..."
 
Man gives indifferent names to one and the same thing from the difference of their own passions; as they that approve a private opinion call it opinion; but they that mislike it, heresy: and yet heresy signifies no more than private opinion.

- Thomas Hobbes.
 
AIM conversation with my cousin after a seven hour swim meet/ mental breakdown.

Me: If only life was as intoxicating as it is made out to be
My Cousin: seriously
My Cousin: no ben it is
My Cousin: you just have to get out and smell the roses
My Cousin: and learn how to sniff them in exactly the right way so that you get high
 
" ...Pink tights. What the hell is THAT all about, Bret? This ain't no ballet class! Sunglasses and sparklers? What a load of CRAP. So, Bret- you're coming back...to continue a LEGACY? UH-UNH! Stone Cold's gonna make your comeback a living HELL! So you can start begging for some mercy right now...You will beg for mercy- YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND IT. I think you're completely pathetic! You're the 'Best there Is, Was and Ever Will Be'? Whatever! Son, you're looking at the best there is- Austin 3:16 Rules! I will kick your pink-and-black ass all OVER the Garden! I'm gonna END your legacy... You WILL beg for mercy...At Madison. Square. Garden."

Steve Austin.
 
This was a conversation that I had with my friend after I told him that I just beat Resident Evil 1 for the gamecube in 6 1/2 minutes.

Dan: I'm bored enough that I think I should record me beating it in 6 1/2 minutes and youtube it.

Mitch:

Dan: Then let no0bs oo and aw at me XD

Mitch: that's fuckign disgusting

Dan: HAHA
Dan: WOWOW
Dan: THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT
Dan: I phrased that soo badly...

Mitch: bai2dan'srep

Perfect example of how pronouns suck -_-;
 
Luca said:
Heard this one on Phoenix Wrong.

Girl "Nervous?"
Guy "Yes."
Girl "First time?"
Guy "No I've been nervous lots of times..."
Click to expand...

this is quite funny, because I was just watching this like 2 minutes ago.

"Shindeimashou? You mean, I'm in the process of being dying?"
Jill Hamada (my ex gf)
 
I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.


Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.


-Jack Handey
 
At the local Winn-Dixie while at work...

Kokuten - Dude! Can't you tell which one of this paper towel bags is which!?

Co-Worker - I'm dyslexic! I can't hear!
 
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