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  • 📅 February and March 2024 are YE 46.2 in the RP.

Nepleslian News Network Colonial Pride Surging; Colonial Incentives

"Today, we have some news from the Colonial Expanse for a change that isn't about war, Cameraman Todd!"

The cheery blonde reporter winks at the cameraman before the screen shifts to a view of the Nepleslian Colonial Expanse.

"Today, the planetary governors of various planets throughout the Expanse have put forward a piece of planetary legislation. Colonial incentives are aimed to bring the average working stiffs - much like those of you who recently claimed our special Akemi's discount code last Monday - and those who feel they need a fresh start. Footage from across the colony suggests that only a month of having quietly tested this to select groups has led to satisfaction rates near the upper seventy percent! That means that Joes and Janes like you? They love it out there! Even on hard worlds like Boiling Hot recently had invigorated spirits singing as they worked! Let's watch!"

The camera pans to a scene on a beach so hot that the sand itself seems to be simmering; all of the workers wearing sun-protecting ponchos - glistening with sweat whenever one's arms were bare - and affixed with respirators as they sing out and pull on the net to drag massive eel-like creatures from the shallows.

"It may not look it, but those hefty suckers? Those silly Yamataians just love seafood like that! If you ever wanted to sweat and show off your muscle but not get punched in the face or shot by some stupid squid or whatever alien we're fighting this week? Then please! Think about coming to the colonies! Get paid, get land, get the chance to help your nation! Fight through your brawn and heart! This is the Nepleslian News Network - totally not sponsored and not paid to do it, too - telling you to get out there and help lead the Reinvigorated Rush! The future of Nepleslia lies in planets like this and people like you! Until next time everybody! Up next; is eating Sandtrouncer meat good for you? Delsaurians say only if it's necessary for survival! More on our scaly friends... at eleven!"
 
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