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Approved Character (First RP OC) Aliza Scorn [The Promises Land @Dumont ]

ÐarkMatter

New Member
Aliza Scorn [A-Lie-Za] is a player character played by ÐarkMatter

Species & Gender: Example: Human Female (Cyborg)
Year of Birth: Whatever year equates to her being 19 in her plot (Sorry, I have yet to figure this part out >.<)
Organization: Nepeleslian Space Marine Corps
Occupation: Infantry
Rank: PRIVATE
Preferred Plot: The Promises Land

Physical Description:
apre11.deviantart.net_93a0_th_pre_i_2014_166_8_1_maintenance_02_by_jacksonso_d7mhb16.jpg
Eye color: Blue, neon in appearance due to their cybernetic nature
Hair color: Light Pink (Stained by chemicals, originally auburn)
Hair style: Long, usually tied when in combat
Body Hair: None, except on head
Facial shape/features: Pointed chin, small nose, large eyes
Skin color: Pale
Height: 5ft11
Weight: 56kg
Physical Build: Athletic
Distinguishing Marks (If any): Cybernetic; Eyes, Arms and lower legs
Disabilities (If any): Schizophrenia
Scent: Usually sweet smelling as she has an almost freaky sense of hygiene and cleanliness. However, while cloaked, no scent is detectable.

Personality
Fears: Losing close friends and fellow team members
Most at ease when: Conversing, strategizing or training to hone her skills
Most ill at ease when: Injured, or in a tense situation, especially moral dilemmas.
Social nature: Quite indifferent towards people she doesn't fully know, as her childhood means she is not so trusting of others. Once she has warmed up to a person, she can be quite caring in nature, and much more open to answer questions and is a lot more humorous when chatting. She has a very soft spot towards people who have lost their way due to warfare and corruption, as this was how she ended up in her current position. As she is a relatively new recruit, she is still very hesitant before making any offensive action.

History
Aliza was left orphaned and alone at a very young age, having lost all her family in the midst of war.

She was taken into an orphanage, living in the most corrupt part of the lower city, surrounded by crime. The staff members at the orphanage doubled as gang members, selling high-class drugs, employing the very kids they nurture and thrusting them into the life of crime.

At age 12, Aliza was deemed ready for a life of crime, transporting harsh chemicals and drugs to where they were needed, doing the bidding of her higher-ups.

During a heist on an opposing gang's territory, Aliza gets shot in the ankle, slowing her escape, and allowing her to get captured while her fellow group members leave her for dead.

Months pass, and her captors hooked her up to a hyper life-support system, whilst they harvested her organs and limbs to sell to corrupt upperclassmen. A form of extreme torture, as Aliza could experience every minute of it.

After some time, she was deemed obsolete, and her body was to br thrown into a container set for incineration. A custodian for the group misunderstood, and dumped the body in a wrong container, filled with a rare drug.

The gang are caught off guard as a SWAT team move in to investigate their actions, and after mowing down the gang leaders, find the containers. To their surprise, they find a young girl, barely clinging to life within one of the three cases with the rare drug, her hair stained pink by the strange chemicals.

Aliza was rushed to the medical facility, taken to a more advanced sector upon higher orders. The doctors discover a strange twist in her genetic make-up as the rare drug, now dubbed "neuropyzyne", seeped into her system, allowing her body to assimilate any number of augmentations without a chance of tissue rejection.

Overjoyed, the doctors began melding the girl to their most advanced, experimental military-grade augmentations.

Due to her state as a military-grade cyborg, Aliza was set to join the Marines, to aid them at all costs, while uncovering many conspiracies and threats, all the while making it her goal to rid Nepeleslia of corruption.

Now a fresh recruit, she is eager to prove her worth all the while coning to terms with her abilities, continually learning new techniques and skills, not yet known to the rest of her crew.

Social Connections: None as of yet, as they have either perished or simply lost contact

Skills Learned
Aliza has the following notable skills:
•Literacy- Very knowledgeable in Mathematics, Trade (English?), Sciences and Craftsmanship
•CQC- Close Quarters Combat, very proficient in it as it was taught from a very early age so she could defend herself
•Use of her cybernetic enhancements- This gives her multiple abilities such as superhuman strength, speed, ability to cloak (e.g. Invisibility, Soundproofing, Lack of scent) and has multiple experimental augmentations which have yet to unlock more abilities
• Marksmanship- Can use any forearm within minutes of picking it up
• Swordsmanship- Very skilled in the usage of bladed weapons

Inventory & Finance
Aliza has the following:
Uniform


◾ 2 Pullover shirt, green, with rank patches on shoulder pads and name plate


◾ 4 T-shirts, white


◾ 4 underwear, white


◾ 2 Khaki cargo pants


◾ 1 Beret, green, with flash patch


◾ 1 NSMC Field Cap, Type 33


◾ 1 pair gloves, leather, brown


◾ 1 pair boots, brown


◾ 6 pair boot socks, white


◾ 1 Belt, dark brown


◾ 1 Nepleslian Dress Uniform (YE 33) (full outfit with white pistol belt, gloves, pants, and boots)


Bunkwear


◾ 2 Tank tops, green, with fleet number on the right chest


◾ 2 Pairs of ankle length pajama pants, khaki


◾ 1 Pair of slip-on flexi-shoes, black


Workout/Swim


◾ 2 Short-sleeved mocks with fleet number on the right chest, Green


◾ 2 Work-out shorts, black


◾ 4 pairs green ankle socks


◾ 1 pair green low-top sneaker shoes


◾ 2 black sports bras


◾ 1 One-piece bathing suit, green, fleet number on right breast


◾ 1 Bikini, green, fleet number on right breast.

Weapons and Weapon Accessories

◾ 1 M3 Assault Rifle


◾ 1 Marine Combat Axe Model 01c


◾ 1 Automatic Pistol, Na-W/P-08 Heavy Automatic Sidearm, with 2 extra regular ammo

Character Will
In the case I become inactive (gone for more than a month):
•Can this character be used as an NPC by a GM or FM? YES
•Can this character be adopted after I'm gone for a year or more? YES

(@Gunhand4171 @Dumont and @Wes please check my application, sorry in advance if it is not meeting your expected standards)
 
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I was wondering if this character is intended for any particular RP thread or RP plot.
 
It looks like it is for the YSS Heartbreaker. The question is if Reynolds is okay with a Nep Marine being on a Star Army vessel. Either way, its a good time to jump in the plot, as we're starting a new 'episode' and the more the merrier. :D
 
Yeah, the GM of that plot, Luca, is in the process of wrapping it up. Someone will have to start a new independent plot to take its place.

Characters don't necessarily have to be for an established RP. You could also use her for random Open RPs and such, or start your own threads if you have RP ideas.

Aliza gets shit in the ankle,
Gross!

Alright, alright, I made you a wiki page for your character: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=characters:yamatai:aliza_scorn

Character approved for general use - Reynolds will have to approve her for the Heartbreaker before you can use her there, though.
 
Yeah, the GM of that plot, Luca, is in the process of wrapping it up. Someone will have to start a new independent plot to take its place.

Characters don't necessarily have to be for an established RP. You could also use her for random Open RPs and such, or start your own threads if you have RP ideas.

Gross!

Alright, alright, I made you a wiki page for your character: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=characters:yamatai:aliza_scorn

Character approved for general use - Reynolds will have to approve her for the Heartbreaker before you can use her there, though.
xD sorry about any spelling errors, I'm on mobile so expect more than a few autocorrect-related mishaps
 
One other thing I was wondering about: The bio says she fears losing close friends, and then says she has no close friends in the social connections setting. What's up with that?
 
One other thing I was wondering about: The bio says she fears losing close friends, and then says she has no close friends in the social connections setting. What's up with that?
Sorry for not clearing it up, she fears getting too close to people, as losing them would be quite impactful for her.
 
Second time I'm pinged, and second time it hasn't alerted me on the forum. We may have a problem with alerts here @Wes

Breaking it down now...

First: Do you have permission from the artist to use that art? That's a server rule type of thing that I probably have to address I'm-a guessin'.

Second: Please fill out your character skill areas appropriately. You get seven in total, and about three of the skills you have as is fall under combat skills, while your Literacy is trying to pass off four seperate skills as one thing.

Third: I'm giving you the same advice as The Nomad, and stating that this is not a combat heavy roleplay. You need to use your head and avoid conflict to be victorious.

Your enemy WILL be as skilled as you or more. There are no 'mooks' to be sliced through en-masse. Deadly sci-fi weapons are capable of maiming with ease, so your best bet is to either finish combat in single ambushes, or to avoid it entirely in a chase scene. And if you're solely built for combat as this sheet so far has been presented: If you're looking for awesome fights where you keep all your bits, you're best off joining something else.

Fourth: You're a Nepleslian Marine. You have a full time day job. Why are you also a mercenary? How do you have time for this? I'd appreciate it if @Gunhand4171 could chime in and tell me if they would have such sufficient free time, and such insufficient supervision to get away with working for what's more or less a criminal syndicate.

Fifth:
Disabilities (If any): Schizophrenia

You would have never been hired in the first place were this the case. The powers that be would not trust you not to go off meds and potentially blow an operation. Get rid of it, or choose another plot please.
 
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Second time I'm pinged, and second time it hasn't alerted me on the forum. We may have a problem with alerts here @Wes

Breaking it down now...

First: Do you have permission from the artist to use that art? That's a server rule type of thing that I probably have to address I'm-a guessin'.

Second: Please fill out your character skill areas appropriately. You get seven in total, and about three of the skills you have as is fall under combat skills, while your Literacy is trying to pass off four seperate skills as one thing.

Third: I'm giving you the same advice as The Nomad, and stating that this is not a combat heavy roleplay. You need to use your head and avoid conflict to be victorious.

Your enemy WILL be as skilled as you or more. There are no 'mooks' to be sliced through en-masse. Deadly sci-fi weapons are capable of maiming with ease, so your best bet is to either finish combat in single ambushes, or to avoid it entirely in a chase scene. And if you're solely built for combat as this sheet so far has been presented: If you're looking for awesome fights where you keep all your bits, you're best off joining something else.

Fourth: You're a Nepleslian Marine. You have a full time day job. Why are you also a mercenary? How do you have time for this? I'd appreciate it if @Gunhand4171 could chime in and tell me if they would have such sufficient free time, and such insufficient supervision to get away with working for what's more or less a criminal syndicate.

Fifth:


You would have never been hired in the first place were this the case. The powers that be would not trust you not to go off meds and potentially blow an operation. Get rid of it, or choose another plot please.
Thanks for the input, the art work is just a filler, I'm working on a sketch. I'll make the necessary edits.
 
Since your little group is apparently waiting on preferably speedier replies to this:

I'm still waiting on these edits, Darkmatter.
 
Since your little group is apparently waiting on preferably speedier replies to this:

I'm still waiting on these edits, Darkmatter.
I've just added my (incomplete) sketch, going to add the other edits soon, sorry for lateness I've been busy due to family issues
 
You can just edit your post here if it's easier. Sketch looks good, but it isn't actually a prerequisite.

I only pointed out the art thing since you could potentially get in trouble for it.
 
You can just edit your post here if it's easier. Sketch looks good, but it isn't actually a prerequisite.

I only pointed out the art thing since you could potentially get in trouble for it.
For some reason, the edit option is not there under my character sheet o.0
 
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