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Approved Submission [Galactic Horizon] Porter Pack

SirSkully

🦊 FM of Neshaten
🦾 FM of Nepleslia
🎖️ Game Master
Submission Type: Utility Equipment
Template Used: Modified Clothing Template
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:corp:galactic_horizon:gh-g6-3e_porter_pack
Submission Destination URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=corp:galactic_horizon:gh-g6-3e_porter_pack

Faction: Galactic Horizon
FM Approved Yet?: Awaiting @club24
Faction requires art?: No? although I may be looking at getting some later

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? No

Notes: So think of a deck chair, but not a deck chair and it is worn on the back... okay nothing like a deck chair.
 
This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
I interpreted the line " Released to the civilian sector, it is often carried in medical and survival kits, or even household work. " as meaning that something like this would be okay but sorry if I goofed on that front.
 
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Ah, I missed that little blurb completely. My bad. Everything looks good with this. @Ametheliana do you think this needs a checklist? I'm not sure it does but I wanted to check rather than make an assumption and look dumb later on.
 
Molecure tape is probably fine; I've seen Origin Industries peeps use it.

Yarvex Foam on the other hand... Yeah, that's restricted, and probably overkill for what this thing does anyway?
 
Is it OK for this to not be in the normal clothing template? I feel like it ought to be fine, but it creates a little trouble for me when trying to compare the sections that the template calls for to the ones that the article has.
 
It seems like this article follows the clothing template in some ways, besides history—which it lacks as far as having its own section goes.

On the left are the sections in the pack article and what they equal are their counterparts in the template:
Donning and Doffing + Function = Usage
Appearance + Function = Design

It also isn't quite an article of clothing. Everything I found on google pointed to a backpack not being clothing.

That said, it's up to you if the names of the sections should be changed to fit the template and/or if history should be added.
 
Sorry if I used the wrong template (and modified it too much) but on the topic of Yarvex Foam, it says that yarvex is a restricted material but the page for Yarvex Foam says nothing about it being restricted in any way.
 
looking at the yarvex mesh and foam pages, the foam page says its made of yarvex strands so i think it'll probably need changing since yam isn't about to hire us to make stuff with their precious materials just yet XD

edit: my bad for not checking that before, i didn't even know yarvex was restricted before now
 
This review is for: the Galactic Horizon Porter Pack

The submitted article is/has…
[yes ] A very high level of overall quality
[yes] A general topic sentence under the title header
[no ] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[Probably ] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[yes ] In the proper format/template
[yes] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[yes ] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[yes ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[yes ] No red and/or broken links
[yes ] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[yes ] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[check ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[check ] Obtusely redundant
[check ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[check ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[check ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[check ] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[check ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[check ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[check ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[check ] Lacking Detail
[check ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[N/A ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[N/A ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[check ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[check ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
** Everything looks good here.

Status: Approved.
 
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