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  • Current IC Month: 9月 YE 42 (through December 31, 2020)

Approved Submission [Galactic Horizon] Sport Shot 7.62

SirSkully

FM of Neshaten
Game Master
Submission Type: Weapon
Template Used: Weapons

Faction: Galactic Horizon
FM Approved Yet? Yes @club24
Faction requires art? No but It has some

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? Yes
Previously Submitted? No

Notes: First attempt at making weaponry, nothing particularly fancy but decent enough for people to consider it IMO
 
Last edited by a moderator:

club24

Everything Is Magical
Ok, I officially approve the concept of this weapon however there is a few things I'd like to be edited/improved within the article to help it fit a little better. Nothing HUGE but I'm trying to work towards raising the standard of the articles of the corp overall including my own, basically just more info and more defined.

First off the about section, I'd like you to rework the section a little bit.

"Galactic Horizon decided to begin making their own firearms in YE 40" could the "decided to begin" be changed to just "began" and could "their own" be removed, this is to be more concise and creates a more flat/professional tone which is part of what i'm trying to work towards

"it was designed to be a hearty weapon that could get dragged through a swamp and keep on firing afterwards" I won't say it's bombastic language but it seems like a line from a TV add, "the weapon was designed to withstand harsh treatment from user and environment alike and is able to withstand the elements to a modest degree" this is one suggestion to provide an example on what i mean, feel free to use it or make your own like it.

"– chambered in 7.62 KZ simply because of the sheer abundance of that particular cartridge." this almost suggests they were too lazy to do anything unique, yes I can respect the merit behind choosing a widely used ammo type for a gun designed to be sold everywhere but again, just a suggestion to try help improve it. "It is chambered in 7.62 KZ as it is one of the most widely available ammunition types, removing the need to set aside production for ammunition and making the rifle more appealing to buyers in areas with lower access to specialty items."

"It became a particular favourite of Ex-Saint operative Terrins Dassau of Galactic Horizon’s security force, so much so that he bought two just for everyday use." this line is not really relevant to the article itself and should probably be removed, nothing against him having two but I suggest either doing it through RP or adding a similar line on his character page to explain the two items in his inventory


OVERALL:
this article, honestly I would like nothing less than to say "yes its great lets go" and I don't like having to be harsh and ask you to change up what you've worked on but this is the direction I'm aiming to travel and I feel it's better to start now than leave it because I felt bad until it potentially causes some other issues.

I don't see any issues with the damage rating of the weapon, T3 is still lower than PA and considering its bolt action I consider it to be justified to be a little more powerful than a standard kinetic ammo rifle. Price seems good even though pricing is weird in sarp x.x, art looks good and helps the article to stand out to players looking for a nice well rounded weapon, dimensions and weight are good although i never expected them not to be I know you have better knowledge of firearms than me ovob

That's all from me, if mods have nothing else to add then consider it fully approved by me when these changes are implemented ^^
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
It's not a copyrighted sight afaik so there shouldn't be an issue, perhaps link the site that was used to create them for referencing but it should be fine, we'd have to ask @Wes about it though as im not entirely sure
 

Wes

Founder & Admin
Staff Member
FM of Yamatai
STO Fleet Member
Could you link to the site where it was made? I need to look at their terms of use.
 

SirSkully

FM of Neshaten
Game Master
Here is the site I used and at club's request I have removed every shred of personality from the article.

I have no Qualms with having to re-make the images myself with another medium if I have to remove the current ones and sorry if I have to end up removing them due to terms of use.
 
Last edited:

Alex Hart

FM of NDC
Hmmm... I like this gun a lot but there's a slight problem.

"You may not copy, reproduce, distribute, publish, display, perform, modify, create derivative works, transmit,
or in any way exploit any content on pimpmygun.doctornoob.com"
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
Im not an FM im just the owner, when you showed it to me before I approved the concept as i do, I’m not trying to shoot down your work I’m trying to get my company to a certain standard is all.

Whenever i look at something i check it multiple times in case i see something new, it’s about making it as thourough as possible but I apologise if it seemed i had gone behind you. I’ve done this before with other articles so i had assumed you’d expect something but that’s my mistake. If you have an issue with me trying to impliment a standard for my company I can’t stop you from making it for a different one,
 

SirSkully

FM of Neshaten
Game Master
I have no issue with you trying to make some kind of standard for the company, the issue is how you go about doing it.

You go behind my back for half the things I have made so far and it is frankly just getting annoying - I want to make stuff for Galactic Horizon and I am happy to do so but it just irks me whenever you feel the need to withhold information.

No hard feelings or anything, it just makes me a bit pissy.
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
All i can ask you to do is believe me when i say I’m not trying to, sometimes I don’t see things until later unfortunately and it’s my fault these issues have arisen so I’m sorry for that.

You have every reason to be annoyed, I would be too so I’ll try to be more clear in the future when you ask me about them before submission.
 

SirSkully

FM of Neshaten
Game Master
I'm over it now, sorry for being a bit of a dickbag.



ANYWAY, now we just need to see if other people have issues with it.
 

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
Character Forum Mod
This character needs to go through approval before I can approve this article:
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=character:terrins_dassau
There are some issues with history that need solving (SAINT wasn't around in YE 10 is the first thing that struck me).

The article needs text or prose after headers. Some examples are:

Replaceable Parts and Components
HERE
Extra Barrel: 60KS

Optional Attachments
HERE
3-9×45 Variable Zoom Telescopic Sight: 80KS

Here is how to link DRv3:
Code:
**Purpose:** [[(wiki link back to this article's Tier heading)|(weapon's purpose, i.e.: Light Anti-Mecha)]]
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
Hey, we all make mistakes, at least we’ve realised ours. And yeah now it needs official approval also i thought we did get him approved?
 

SirSkully

FM of Neshaten
Game Master
We did, by Ame nonetheless but we all mess up, I have changed the history to fit better since this slip up has been encountered.
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
Tier 4 in a non pa, handheld isn’t something i see much of, granted im a NEET so this is just a mod thing twirls and leaves
 
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