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Approved Character Karasu Kuuhaku

Hi Mike,

Welcome to the SARP.

I am one of the character reviewers and I will be assisting you with getting your character ready for play.

Space Raven, interesting name. ;)

Overall, not a bad first pass.

Physical Description section
Skintone should be Skin tone. Also what color other than pale?
See for colors Nekovalkyrja Physical Characteristics

Hair, how long is long? Is it down to her shoulder blades, the small of her back, please provide a bit more detail. Also It's should be Its or better yet something like "Her hair color is predominately...."

The SPINE interface is organic and appears as a series of pink dots on the back.

Under Skills
Mathmatics should be Mathematics
Skills are pretty bare bones, but then she is newly released from training. You might want to flesh them out a little, for example under fighting was there a particular part that she enjoyed more or showed more aptitude for?

This Character is Still pending Approval.

After you make these changes update this forum and I'll review it again.

I added a few Wiki links, and also formatted the inventory for you.
 
Firstly, I would very much like to appolgize profusely for my lack of posting, and while I don't like to offer excuses, as they ony serve to rationalize the event in in the eyes of the one making excuses, but I feel the need to explain what happened.

A few days after I posted my original thread, some of the power phases on my motherboard surged, thereby frying some of my MOSFETs, before it went on the overload my CPU, before then overloading and burning out my CPU, so I was without serious internet connection.
This has now been remedied as I was able to secure a(severly lacking) system.

Also, I would like to thank Wes for sending me the PM that was forwarded to my e-mail, otherwise I would likely have forgotten about this community.

Edit to follow once I make the suggested changes, and once again I am extremely sorry for the lapse in my posting, and can(reasoably) guaranty that it won't happen again.
 
No problem, you are not the first person to have 'technical' issues interfere. Welcome back.
 
Ok, a few nits

Typos
It's color is should be Its color is. (It's = It is)

hew back, identifiying her SPINE interface should be
her back, identifying her SPINE interface

Typo under fighting
prefered should be preferred

Once these minor items are fixed, you'll be good to go.

This character will be approved once these corrections are made.
 
This player hasn't been around since 2009 so I'm going to adopt this character and manage him for the time being.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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