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Approved Character Mazda Eschve

Mokuren

Inactive Member
Name: Mazda Eschve

General Information
Species: Elysian
Gender: Male
Age: 28

Family/Creators: One father in Elysia (Vendruth Eschve, alive at 68)
One human mother somewhere else (Karin Deudroff, presumably alive at 51)
One half-brother in Elysia (Eln Eschve, alive at 36)
One half-sister in Elysia nova (Luog Eschve, alive at 34)
One step mother (Udrin Sorm, died at 60)

Faction: Star Army
Occupation: Robotics specialist
Rank: Nito Hei
Current Assignment: Robotics

Physical Characteristics
Height: 182 cm / 6'
Weight: 76 kg / 167 lbs
Measurements: 93-88-90 cm / 37-34-35 inches

Build and Skin Color: Thin build and fair complexion
Face and Eye Color: Oval face and amber eyes
Hair color and Style: Long, flowing snow white hair

Distinguishing Features: A pair of birdlike gray and purple wings

Psychological Characteristics
Personality: Mazda likes to have the typical "distract genius" look, even thought he's not distract at all (but he's confident he's a genius anyways), he has the double-edged quirk of having to finish what he has begun. Sometimes a smartass and with a wicked sense of humor, he is otherwise relaxed and becomes a sort of cold calculator when he begins to get involved into his work. He never really overcame the sense of confusion in being absorbed into a different army but has no problem in coping with other races.

Likes: Good food, quiet places
Dislikes: Atrocities, chaos, poverty
Goals: Building efficient and useful magic-using robots, improving existing ones, building efficient and useful magic-using humanoid robots as close to real people as possible. Even if not evidently, he also craves for a place where he can feel fulfilled with his work.

History

Skills:
Communication: Mazda is familiar with headset, starship, power armor, shuttle and radio operation in and out of combat. His native language is Seraphic, but can speak English rather fluently although with an odd accent; he has picked up a couple words in Japanese but can't actually understand it.
Fighting and Physical: Mazda has taken the standard Star Army training program when he was absorbed from the ECN and meets all the due requirements. He also has wings with which he can't really fly, but they're strong enough to let him glide and parachute.
Information technology: Mazda can use the Kessaku OS very well but it's not the OS he's been dabbling with for the most time. Being a robotics specialist, he is a very skilled programmer, specialized in artificial intelligences; he always programmed using the ECN's OS but has lately been working to bring up his skill with the Kessaku OS at the same level.
Mathematics: Algebra and trigonometry and not much else, for his programming skills don't really have to do much with math.
Engineering: He probably wouldn't be able to craft the components alone, but Mazda knows how to build robots for various tasks, even thought he's specialized in humanoid ones; he can make working blueprints and has extended knowledge in the field.
Mainteinance and Repair: Mazda isn't much of a mechanic but given his area of specialization he has learned to mend the buttons on his shirts. Well, not really a matter of buttons but he can easily maintain mechanical and electronic components and even repair minor flaws and damage.
Magic: Mazda can't really do much magic, almost nothing in fact, but he has been studying a way to create magic-using robts with the Pantheon device.


History:
Even since he realized his interest in robotics was too strong to be just a hobby, he knew he was in trouble.
The typical member of the Elysian Celestial Navy was either an ego-filled Archangel with too much pride not to boast it or a poor Angel with no other choice but enlist or be drafted in. Because of the war, being drafted in was the easiest way, but not for Mazda.
He was enlisted as a Robotics specialist, which made his life even worse.
"Who in heaven, in a race of bio-weapons maniacs, would get such a crush on robotics?" Mazda, of course, nothing more than just a plebian, impure amongst the impures, the only half-human breed in a family of pure Elysians (plebians, but still full-blooded).

Plebian Angels, as everyone knows, are in the lowest of the two-step social ladder in Elysia, thus they are poor, downtrodden and heavily disadvantaged in job and life opportunities. His family was no exception, everyone was busy in either working for a living or studying to earn a place, for how small, in a society where you lose, no matter how hard you try.
Left alone with his thoughts for most of the time, Mazda Eschve fell in love with robots from the very moment he learned about them, even thought he did so during the war with the Star Army (about which he didn't care at all, being an affair for noble Archangels about which a plebian like him couldn't do one thing); probably for that reason he was often victim of repeated attempts to brainwash him into considering bio-engineering instead of cold robotics. No way, thought.

At that point, it became painfully clear to him that enlisting in the ECN was, ridiculously enough, the easiest way for him to fulfill his love for robotics research.
He went under boot camp, rigorous training programs, several more unpleasant procedures and then, finally, made it into the ECN as enlisted "auxiliary personnel".
Two weeks later, the ECN lost the war.
A bit fed up for the simple fact of having been through a lot of stress and then seeing all that mess, Mazda started wondering if some force in the universe was working against him.
The answer was no, for the Star Army wasn't so picky about robotics, thus he was quickly and easily absorbed into its ranks.
Of course this meant going through training programs all over again since the Star Army had different requirements.

At least, he is now recognized as enlisted "Robotic specialist", which sure beats being a stupid, nondescript "auxiliary personnel".
 
I like. Everything seems to be good, personality good, skills good, physical paramiters good. History ... well I'll let Thad be the judge of that. Moi, j'adore ca, mais Thad? Not so good probably. Although there isn't that much activity which should have been RP'd out (or is there?)

I know your not French. I felt like writing in it.
 
This history is in the gray zone. It's long, sort of detailed, but it's nothing really necessary to RP out. But I don't really like the length. A lot of the things talking about the status of angels and that sort aren't needed, because this is your character's personal history. I also didn't like the last sentence, because that's something you might want to RP out (even if it's just one JP with Wes). Otherwise, you did do a good job. Nice work.
 
Trust me, Good work from Thad is a very good thing indeed. And he didn't really mind the History! For one that long it's effectively unprecidented. For all it matters I agree with him, although what you do have in about Plebs being second class citizens doesn't hurt anyone, so I don't see anything wrong with it. As for the last sentance ... I'll leave it up to Wes on that one (Big thing from me seeing as I have no power at all *boo hoo*), if he decides to aprove this character straight off, I'm fine, and pleased for you, If he agrees with Thad there has to be a JP over the last line, well, pedantics never hurt anyone. Apres, bon travaile (I'm sorry, nervous about French lesson).
 
Hmmm... You're right about the history, I splatted it down in 5 minutes, should've written it better, made it less repetitive. Problem is, I'm used to making longer backgrounds, especially when dealing with alien settings. There are many, many, many comments about Elysian architecture, family life and personal feelings that I simply cut out for simplicity's sake...

However, it seems that I was supposed to cut "personal history" out, something I'm not used to doing (I'm not used to publicly posting histories, for that matter), so you're right after all, the story's too long if all I had to write were just important matters of relatively public domain.

About the JP... I've already pestered anyone about my time issues to the point some of you might get sick by just hearing that, isn't it? :D Seriously, I'm used to do things differently but I have no problem with your procedures, if that is necessary, I'll try to do something about it; a JP is still very hard, but sacrifices can be made.

And thanks for the feedback :)
 
Everything looks good to me. Character approved.
 
No, no, no, I meant that you needed to cut the facts about Elysian status and living and that sort, and write solely about the character. Anyone can look on the site for the other information, but this is your character's biography. I don't mean write a novel, just the basics. What I usually like is just information about parents (which should have already played an important role in the character's development up to the age he is now), education, and current aims and goals. Of course, I realized not everyone likes histories that short, and I've broadened my perception of a "good history" to include some specific details. I also realize a lot of people don't care about my opinion, but I reserve the right to state it anyway. Don't misunderstand, I do think you did a good job, but I thought I might explain myself a little clearer. Have fun.
 
I'm sure lot's of people care about your opinion. Most new arrivals do anyways, and the concepts that you preach are good one. Keep up the crusade on overly complicated histories that should in fact be Rped out!
 
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