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  • 📅 February and March 2024 are YE 46.2 in the RP.

RP: ISC Phoenix [Mission 3] - Rocking the Casbah

"I know watcha thinkin', Fattie." Said Enzo, suddenly letting himself back into the conversation with beady eyes fixed on Melissa's business card, "It's real shiny and nice, kinda gots a life-changin' arra abouts it as if it was some kindsa ahtifack, and contained within was some sorta unholy force of un-rememberable energies and whatnot."

At first, it seemed like the conman was perhaps psychic, or at least reading the narration. Then, as his attention shifted, it became clear he was on a completely different train as he went on, "It's her smile, maybes, an' maybe her bone structure an' shit. I felt the same way, too, the foist time I laid eyes on her-- she was holdin' a guy right here. "

To illustrate a headlock, Enzo planted one fist firmly in the crook of his elbow and flexed until his pale skin was turning red. Then, with a quick hop, he stationed himself next to Melissa once more and continued, "It was at dat moments I realized-- dis right heres, dis is a real woman."
 
Fruna Ruica, Cafeteria
"Now listen 'ere ya tiprat," Melissa didn't mince words with Enzo. "Dis right heres real woman gonna make ya shit teeth if ya don't keep it in yer pants." She had a grin on her face though, and was waggling a finger at him like a nun brandishing a ruler and aiming for Enzo's knuckles. Melissa turned her attention back to Redrick and nodded.

"Great. Well, come with us and we'll get ya briefed when we touch down in Sargasso." Melissa nodded at Redrick and then remembered something, snapping her fingers. "Wait, where'd the blue one go? You a friend of 'ers?" She was referring to Tamamo. "Wot wos she doin' 'ere anyways?"


Fruna Ruica, Convention Floor
Makari found himself accosted by freaks and geeks who were a little more gun oriented and looking at his armaments. "You look like you walked off a movie set but you totally kicked ass! I saw what you did with the mirror!" One of them complimented while looking at the barrels of the Gatling Shotgun he'd filched off of Mr. Lizard Man.

"Are you an, Nepleslian too?" A Lorath woman asked, struggling with their Trade a bit. They also looked over to Shayla and asked, "Are you Amazon Kat?" Shayla would recall that Amazon Kat was a cartoon from Yamatai for kids, with an amazonian Nekovalkyrja which resembled Shayla's build.

The two started having autograph books and pens put in their direction for saving their lives. "Sign please!" "Thanks!" "I owe you!" "Let me show you my sister!" "I have a big bed!" "Dinner at mine?"


Fruna Ruica, Balcony
In Aiesu's ear, she heard another trickle of laughter from Echelon before a message came through. "0H G0D 1 W1SH! 1T S33MS T0 B3 S0M3 S0RT4 4N1M4T10N SUBR0UT1N3. 1 C4N'T SUPPR3SS 1T W1TH0UT TURN1NG Y0U 1NT0 4 R4GD0LL!" She really couldn't. The code that was responsible for Aiesu's outlandish gestures, and the code for proper movement and animation were tied together like a helix. "1 TH1NK TH4T'D B3 3V3N M0R3 3MB4RR4SS1NG!! K3K3K3K3K3K3!"

"Aiesu I hope you have a coping strategy worked out for this or your head might explode from sheer embarrassment," Luca tried to be as reassuring as he could, but the bathos of the situation was too much for him on how the tables had turned on Aiesu tormenting him so much. Just little jabs and insults directed at or around him that had enough splash damage to hit his ego.

Out of the blue, though: "I think your body language is fine!" A passing convention goer wolf whistled at Aiesu's Booty Bunny, giving her the A-OK symbol with their fingers.
A Lorath convention goer, a Fyunnen who was clad neck to toe in a latex suit passed by and said "I think I used you once yesterday. Good capacity."

Aiesu, figuratively, was a bullseye right now. Luca's own jabs weren't helping. "Maybe you can do some - some stretches," he suggested, still chuckling. "Maybe squats, good for your-" he wheezed "-butt!" He giggled again, then fell over and landed by her feet, laughing. He didn't even realise he hit the floor head first, overcome by laughter.

She could probably start stomping on him if she wanted.


Fruna Ruica, Bridge
As Wire Head plugged one of their head wires into the console to work their magic, he could hear something stepping behind them. "Aww Yeah." Shareef whispered into Wire Head's ear.

"No no, not yet." Wire Head said as he was removing his own locks on the ship's task bar.

Shareef pulled back, then grinned and murmured. "Aww Yeah."

"No!" Wire Head said again as the task bar was unlocked and a course could be plotted again. A smirk was beginning to appear on the Captain's face meanwhile as Reeves was receiving treatment from Zeta, bandaging the wounds.

'Task Bar Unlocked - Set Course.' The ship's AI chirped.

The moment those words left the bridge's speakers, Wire Head felt two very large, meaty hands grab them under the shoulders and yank his wires out of the console now that his job was done. "Aww YEAH." He said again.

Wire Head, after the initial disorientation realised what was about to happen. "OH NO!"

"Don't break him too hard. I want something to give to the police intact," The Captain said as she started plotting a new course into the ship's taskbar, this time for Nepleslia Prime. "Receiving paceport listing ... Huh, it says there's a new spaceport in a town called Sargasso that's free to land in. Everywhere else is too busy." The Captain looked over to Zeta and asked. "I've never heard of a Sargasso. Do you know the place?"

Last time Zeta checked, there was no spaceport in Sargasso.

Shareef was now left to their own devices. "AWW YEAH." They cheered as they carried Wire Head away over their shoulder, the freespacer flailing and kicking as he was carried to his doom. On the way out, Shareef grabbed a bottle of lubricant from the medical cabinet, chuckling.
"OH NOOOooo...-!" Wire Head's voice could be heard trailing off into the distance before the doors to the bridge closed.
 
Fruna Ruica - Bridge

"Yeah, I know Sargasso," Zeta said with a nod. She scratched her helmet as she was putting medical stuff, back into the first aid kit. She was done with Reese already, he needed to actually see someone who knew what to do. At times like these, she really missed Jimothi. "It is a bit of a backend town. I was not there in few months, but back then there was no space port. Maybe they meant the bay tho, there is enough space for dreadnought. Great thing about sea."

Zeta then turned her head to the closing doors of the bridge. She scratched her helmet again, watching the closed doors curiously. "You know," Zeta said to the captain again. "I promised that freespacer that if he would help us, he would not get raped. I hope that Shareef guy is only scaring him, otherwise I would have to get involved. Sure he was a pirate and he does not deserve much mercy, but I gave him a promise."
 
Aiesu tilted her head, gleaming lifeless purple glass baubles starring down at him with those rabbit-features. Her hands moved with a click and a groan of motors to her hips, only then she froze realizing something: a metallic clink as the metal on her wrists tapped against that of her waist.

About to go on some long diatribe, she saw an opportunity here.

Only hours ago had Luca told her that actions spoke louder than words.

Poetic justice. It was too good to pass up.

A smooth motorized whir of servos sounded from her picojelly coated thigh as her leg, wrapped in white plastic rose, the groan raising in pitch before sinking. And then a subtle tilt of her head, exaggerated by those ears before her leg and metallic foot, came down with all the force she could muster. This particular type of entertainment droid wasn't dainty: Its frame re-enforced for the kinds of "forces" it would have to endure, even with yamataium parts in its skeleton. And then, the kinds of force the joints had to be able to exert: Slick fluid motions and at times, strength most people couldn't match. After all, the design catered to all interests.

And she had all that weight, all that strength in an area the size of a foot.

Squarely over Luca's privates, coming down from the heavens to ruin his good fortune.

Crunch.
 
Fruna Ruica, Deck 3, Balcony on the Convention Floor

Wondering why they had stopped Tamamo redirected her attention to the scene before her and found that she couldn't quite understand what was unfolding. For some reason Luca Pavone, had fallen and now the Aiesu? was stomping on him. Looking to Rebeka and Seiren, Tamamo tried to discover if this was a thing that was supposed to happen, perhaps Luca Pavone was like those who were aboard the Fruna Ruica and greatly enjoyed strange activities.

Refocusing on the rabbit-like droid Tamamo inquired her tone bright and peppy, "Are you supposed to be doing that?" She paused and looked down at Luca Pavone before looking back up at Aiesu? and added, "Is that not going to give him further injuries beyond those which he has already suffered?" She didn't understand and hoped that she'd get an explanation so that things might begin to make sense.
 
"THAT'S THE POINT!" Aiesu screeched -- hand on her knee with a metallic 'whunk' and arching her as she lent forward, putting all of her mechanical bodyweight on Luca.
 
Seiren winced at the sudden display of, erm, force.

"That's. . . a good thing Luca's a minkan, huh?" he meekly said, empathetically wincing and covering his own groin with his hands. He made note to avoid insulting Aiesu unless he had some form of shield or restraint on hand - at least until she got her usual meek-looking body back.
 
The Bridge

"B but I shot it... and according to schematics there's only one bridge, plenty of engineering rooms though..."It was taking a good one hundred and twenty percent of Reeves' willpower not to get into a fit of panic about the hole in his leg. He wasn't doing well with the idea that he had actually managed to kill something that wasn't a smallish spider or insect. Once Zeta fastened a belt tightly around his skinny leg, at least he wasn't worried about bleeding out to death or something equally morbid. "Thank you Zeta." He murmured softly. He scooted himself over so his back was resting against one of the bridge chairs.

If he wasn't in pain like this he'd be reeling in disappointment that he wouldn't get to toy around with a ship as big as this one. Perhaps if he pushed himself when the bleeding had slowed he could still make himself useful. His mind was reeling with the thought of actually forcing himself to stand again when a strange voice saying Awwwhhh yeahhh met his ears. He looked to Zeta for some sort of guidance unsure if it was another pirate or perhaps a guest. It was a rather strange thing to say during a fire fight after all. He lifted his side arm and aimed it toward the entrance of the bridge with shakey aim.

He didn't seem at all relieved to see the ID-sol his gun lowered but his grip didn' t relax when the pirate began to get the consul lock fixed. This Shareef fellow made the young man uncomfortable. "I'm afriad to move it... is there anything in there for the pain or bandages or cream to stopper this wound up?" He asked eager to have something more than a belt just above the injury. He held very still while Zeta patched him up good before forcing himself to one foot to help the captain with operations. He wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve and tried to distract himself from his leg. "I don't think he was joking. That guy made my skin crawl." He told Zeta after he had propped up his weight with one of his hands.
 
Fruna Ruica, Bridge
The captain looked at Zeta, and tutted, shaking her head. "That scum sucking circuitry murdered our artificial intelligence and overwrote all the locks. His 'friends' killed six crewmen who tried to fight back, and executed four more during their ransom demand video."

Wesley could sense an incoming transmission, a file was being sent to them of the video in question. "I can't show them mercy for that."

When Zeta opened the video, there were three people lined up, kneeling over and with their hands tied behind their back. A fourth person was lying in a crumpled, broken heap on the floor, unrecognisable and bloody. Their executioner was standing next to them, wielding a massive hammer. Wire Head could be seen standing beside them while on the other side of the video, Mr. Lizard Man could be seen without his armour, grinning ear to ear.

"For every hour we do not receive an answer, another person on this crew will die," Wire Head spoke. The video was made eight hours ago. "The Indolent Yamataian ones can just live again and think of all of this as a bad dream. The rest?" Wire Head checked the time. "Well, end of the line. Breaker?"

She raised her hammer and executed another of the crewmembers. A Lorath man's skull was smashed against the wall with a golf swing, followed by their torso being tenderised, and one final strike to be on the safe side as he was twitching. Zeta could almost hear the smirk from behind Breaker's visor.

"Good hits. Play the music again, guys." Wire Head ordered, whistling at the carnage as some unusually jaunty music could be heard, followed by a collective groan from the convention goers - they'd heard it a million times and the novelty had long since gone. Someone could be heard screaming something along the lines of 'by Pluto's balls make it stop'.

And in the distance outside of the video, Zeta could hear that son of a bitch screaming. The Captain of the Fruna Ruica chuckled. "Thanks for your help, all the same though, especially you," She bent down and kissed Reeves in the cheek, leaving some lipstick on him. "You were a charm."


Fruna Ruica, Top Flight Deck
The escaping Pirate had made it back to one of the two shuttles, hopped inside and gunned it, ignoring protocol takeoff (how rude!) and fled for his life back to where his ship was hiding. John and Echelon spotted it leaving, but couldn't point something at it quick enough. It went into FTL.

"Damn. We have a runaway shuttle." John noted over the communications. "Luca, did you get that?"


Fruna Ruica, Balcony
Luca's face screwed up when Booty-Bunny Aiesu's heel and toe smashed into his groin with the force of an angry Goddess. He stopped laughing and made a 'hurk' of pain before clenching his teeth shut and closing his mouth.

He didn't let a sound out of his mouth just yet, but his face was twitching and Aiesu could see his cheeks puffing, his face going red, the corners of his lips hissing lightly as air and gasps escaped, brows twitching and eyes screwed cross as sweat started to break out of his face. He could hear something in his ear, but he couldn't reply because he knew the first thing out of his mouth would be a wheeze of defeat - or possibly a scream.

Instead, one hand wrapped around Aiesu's ankle, the other around her knee, and he climbed up her body and stared her in the eyes, standing shakily as he had his weight on her shoulders. Luca's eyes were watering at Aiesu's beady little artificial ones. She could see sweat and blood mingled together, coalescing around his lips and out of his nose. She could see a bit of that sickly orange in his eye again.

"Itai." Luca said in Yamatai-go, before wheezing a sigh and snickering at her. Maybe she didn't put enough heel into it and was left less than satisfied. "Let's blow this popsicle stand. Tamamo, you're coming with us."


Some Time Later...
Everyone had been safely extracted, including the restrained and unconscious forms of Breaker and Wire Head along with the corpse of Mr. Lizard Man. Their bounties could be reimbursed when they got to Nepleslia Prime. The Crimson Kestrel and the Fruna Ruica were on course for Sargasso together. The Fruna Ruica said that they'd negotiated reimbursement of their own when they touched down and got their bearings.


Crimson Kestrel, Lounge Room
Luca had his hands between his legs as he was lying down on the couch, having forgotten to take off his gear off or take a shower since the pain had smashed him like a freight train full of lead once the adrenaline drained from his system. Vita was sitting on the armrest and grinning at him. "Did you get lucky, dad?"

"No..." Luca sighed, still holding onto to his family jewels. "What'd you and Allison get up to?"

"Oh, girly things. Makeup, engine degreaser, magazines," Vita nodded off, one by one. Luca didn't seem concerned. "Allison's Fruna Ruica YE35 video." Luca was mumbling a series of 'mmhm' before eyes became saucers.

"What. Oh goddamn it Allison-" He tried to get up, then fell back down on the couch making a series of 'ow' noises. "Vita, slap her for me."

Vita just made a cat like grin at him. Luca rolled his eyes at her and looked over to Aiesu, who was standing in the Lounge too. "You know, Aiesu. You could've gone a bit more to the left." Luca asked. "Breaker knocked my hip outta place or something and you nearly put it back right. Ever considered a career as a chiropractor?" Though, chiropractors were not doctors.

Allison had made herself very scarce lest she face Luca's wrath, while Melissa was knocking back a beer with Red in the lounge and talking particulars about his employment plan. There was also a blue cat on the ceiling. Rebeka was drinking a sugary drink with Seiren as the little one watched something on his communications device - the Sourcian asking the candymaker particulars about the show. Meanwhile, the bunny was scrutinising the show too, and pointing out inconsistencies.

Zeta was sitting on the same couch as Luca, watching him with concern for his jewels, putting a hand on his thigh for solidarity through trying times. Makari had a shiny new gun that he bought in with Shayla's help - the backpack ammunition drum was very heavy. Cass parked their mech in the garage next to Seiren's, and she was considering options for improvements. Reeves was in the infirmary and healing up with some medical treatment from the strange ceiling cat and the barbarian nekovalkyrja. The Gartagen assassin with a seething dislike of doors was in a hideaway somewhere on the Kestrel, to their own devices.

Just another day. Luca made some internal monologue to wrap up the mission, grabbing an ice cold beer that was on the table and pressing it between his legs, heaving a sigh of relief. Interlude please.

But the interlude didn't happen just yet. Luca sighed - there was still time to shoot the breeze while Nepleslia Prime was getting closer.
 
With the pirates dispatched, Shayla moved on to the less exciting but rather urgent matter of providing medical care to the injured. The hostages were the highest priority, both those that had been enjoying the cruise and those employed by the cruise ship itself. Any of the pirates that were still breathing she could get to if they had the extra time and resources. The giantess began moving from body to body, doing what she should, picking up help along the way. Former hostages that were uninjured assisting her with ones that couldn't move, a stray civilian with some medical training here and there. Eventually the ship's medical crew began arriving, and with some help from James and the other crew members she had things under control soon enough.

Turning away from the makeshift emergency care area they'd set up, watching a few of the worse cases being carted off to the ship's actual medical facilities, she walked right into a herd of appreciative passengers. This wasn't the first time she'd been compared to that particular cartoon character, whom she hadn't thought about since she was a kid on Yamatai herself. She just chuckled at the comparison. "I'm just glad those guys haven't sued me or nothin'." Autograph seekers she was also familiar with, although her fame upon her return hadn't lasted long.

Crimson Kestral, Lounge

After depositing the large firearm and its accessories on the ship for Makari she tended to Tamamo and Reeves in the Infirmary, before joining most of the crew in the Lounge. She just snickered at the sight of their fearless leader curled up in a little ball, cold beer pressed tight to his unmentionables. "You want me to take a look, boss? If it's too bad, we might have'ta amputate..." Shayla grinned wide. "Don't worry, it ain't as big a deal as you'd think. You'll get used to it surprisingly fast, trust me!" She barked a laugh, giving Zeta friendly slap on the back, since Luca was out of range.
 
Redrick propped his elbows up on his legs, both hands (one bandaged, from the burn, natch) holding a beer. He was trying to listen to Melissa hammer out the details of his contract, but the words were slipping in and out of his grasp - all he could really do was nod numbly, blinking and yawning all the while. The day's exertions had been catching up to him the way a shark in bloody waters catches up to a quadruple amputee.

He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, stretching. His shook his head a few times, and tried to blink the irritation out of his eyes.

"Ah, Melissa. I don't mean to..." He yawned. The yawn took about 90 seconds to complete - it was ages from when he opened his mouth to speak, to when it finally closed again.

He looked at her with bloodshot, teary eyes. "I don't want to be rude, but, I agree to anything you guys want me to do, just as long as I never have to see the Fruna Ruica ever again. That's my only contract stipulation."

He considered that, and found something he had to add. "Ah, well. Not my only stipulation, sorry. I also need to go back to Funky City and clean out my apartment, and uh..."

Red was grateful the Phoenix wanted him, but there was only one thing that would stop him from signing on the bottom line. If he was going to sleep tonight, he needed a yes or no answer.

He scratched the back of his head. "I need to pick up somebody from there. A kid, y'know - I sorta adopted her, and I'm all she's got. I don't wanna sound ungrateful, but... this is my only real dealbreaker. If you can guarantee that I can go back to Funky City, move out of my apartment, and take her with us until I can put her back in... Sargasso was it? Then I'm all yours."
 
Crimson Kestrel, Lounge Room

As she sat on the ceiling idly watching Rebeka, Seiren, and Aiesu? trying to piece together what exactly they were doing around the electronic device Seiren was using, Tamamo did her best to review her day in a minor fashion deciding that she still could not allow herself to feel just yet. That troubled her slightly. Hopefully things would calm down further and she would have less of import to observe.

Her attention was torn away from introspection by a strange suggestion of a medically inadvisable amputation and the suggestion that it would not be a big issue. Uncertain as to whether she should raise a complaint Tamamo instead swept her gaze around the room settling her gaze on the old Nepleslian man he seemed to be suffering from exhaustion and she wasn't entirely certain that whatever he was drinking was helping.

He proceeded to mention an odd agreement to any terms so long as they avoided the vessel of the Fruna Ruica. After a moment he also mentioned a desire to visit an apartment, for a child.. Tamamo frowned displeased by the proposition, she didn't think that it would be a good idea, she didn't like the idea of a child. Folding her ears back Tamamo affixed her attention once more upon Rebeka, Seiren, and Aiesu? hoping that whatever was in store wouldn't be as unpleasant as she anticipated.
 
Seiren took a moment from his TV time to cast his attention about the room, snickering quietly at Luca's predicament. But soon his eyes wandered to the ceiling cat, a fresh thought occuring to him.

"Hey, you! With the blue skin! Test a theory out for me, would ya?" he said fishing out a suspicious looking candy from one of his pockets, and then tossed it up to the cat in question.

If anything, this'd provide for an interesting show.

For good measure, he called for Shayla's attention and tossed her a candy too.
 
Finally, Aiesu bothered to look up what a chiropractor translated to in Lorath. She simmered, her metallic components quivering even rattling with anger as she hissed in a metallic sounding voice through her voice synthesizer and the bank of modules that made up her audible idiolect: smearing angry words into bouncy and happy tones.

"Chiropractor. I'll give you chiropractor..." she grumbled and plodded away, looking for something to soil or destroy of Luca's.
 
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Redrick took a long pull from his beer, only to discover he'd been nursing an empty bottle. He shook it, and stared into the container - it was slightly reminiscent of a man in the desert who had drunk the last water in his canteen. He sighed.

"Melissa, hold that thought, I'm gonna refresh my drink. I'll be back in a second." He got up, wincing as his leg screamed at him, and limped into the kitchen, another titanically long yaaaaaaawn already taking place.

More beer would be welcome. Sleep w-

He bumped into something, soft, at about crotch level on his way to the fridge, which was already open. Confused, he looked down.

What greeted him was the plump, silicone-perfect ass of the screeching bunny-waitress robot that had been causing all that commotion on the Fruna Ruica before Redrick left. He blinked, numbly. Why was she rooting through every labeled container that said 'Luca'...?

"What the... Hey." Redrick said, firmly as he could. He sounded like a tired old man without much conviction. "What the hell're you doin'? You knock a diode loose or somethin'...?"
 
Soruk disappeared as usual upon returning to the Crimson Kestrel , vanishing into the darkness and relative silence of the maintenance ducts. The gartagen made a beeline to his 'hideaway', a space just big enough to hold his belongings and almost allow the blademaster to stand upright, but small enough for his liking. The crew of the Phoenix had yet to figure out exactly where in the vents he had made his home, though they probably didn't care that much. If someone did find it, they might even overlook it. He didn't do much decorating, most of his belongings were packed away in bags, only a few things were laying around, leaving the space looking almost normal.

He let out a long sigh, starting to store some of his combat equipment while writing up a message on his datapad. It was a short report to his clan with a request for some additional blacksmithing tools attached. It didn't take him long to return to his 'normal' attire, so he was left with the question on what to do once more. If he had a forge, he could toil his free time away, making things just to make things, rather than making them for a reason. Instead, he had nothing but his blades and the instrument he had picked up.

"Well, practice makes perfect..." He fetched his violin and started making his way out of the vents, popping out in the cargo bay. He settled down atop some crates, sitting cross-legged while he started to play a soft tune.
 
Crimson Kestrel, Kitchen

Servos whirred as the white plastic figure glanced over its shoulder. Gleaming purple gem like eyes staring back like domed lenses. Eye contact. Then lower. Body contact. Then back again. Eye contact.

"Whoa! Yes! Hello! Welcome to my personal space! How may I help you!?" she exclaimed, pinnd between Redrick and the refridgerator.

Personal space? What? When did robots have such a concept? Redrick blinked incredulously, then took a few steps back. Words escaped him for a few more seconds - tired neurons fired in a brain so exhausted as to barely be considered cognitive. Eventually, a circuit closed, somewhere.

"...Why are you rootin' around the damn fridge?" Redrick asked, specifying an earlier point. "And... Pasco in his grave, you are the screwiest robot I've ever seen!"

Her head turned with another mumble of motors as she turned to face Redrick side on.

"Robot?" she tilted her head, the motione exaggerated by those ears. "What?"

"Yes, you. Robot." Redrick poked the bunny-bot in the sternum. "Don't give me that 'androids dream of electric sheep' crap. You. Are. A. Robot."

A robot, maybe. But a soft robot. Redrick learned this the hard way: body flinching from the reach of fingers. Needless to say what they met wasn't sternum. The bot's head lowered, looking at the point of contact, then at Redrick. Its expressionless face could not convay her out-rage.

He yawned immediately after that statement. Again, it was a magnum opus of a yawn.

"An' last I checked..." He eventually stated, as if an expert on the subject, "Robots don't eat."

By now, her plating was moving like the simmering lid of a hot pan, rattling loudly.

"I AM NOT A ROBOT!" came a modulated voice, arms shoving Red foward. "AND I AM NOT A CHIROPRACTOR!"

Synthetic arms shoved the tired old man back several paces. His tired brain attempted to process the... thing's previous statement.

Robot?

...Chiropractor?

"What?" Redrick said, a look of complete, utter confusion on his face, "Wh-... Chiropractor? What does that have to"

"ENOUGH!"

The bot stood seething in impatience. And yet her posture was all wrong: Hands on her hips, back arched. It walked and moved like a Yamataian pop-idol, dripping in orchestrated sex. Whoever was reading the map and giving directions behind those purple eyes was obviously not the same person driving.

"... What are you? And why are you so loud?"

"I'm L'manel" she stated in a rather particularly matter-of-fact way as if Redrick were stupid not to already know. Her tone said something was wrong with him. Apparently one answer was supposed to satisfy both questions.

Redrick's look of vapid confusion had yet to leave his face. "...Is that a type of robot...?"

"NO! WHAT KIND OF BACKWARDS COUNTRY BUMPKIN ARE YOU?!"

And yet still that cheerful posture. And then it looked aside, seeing itself in the mirror and that posture. A storm of introspective grumblings followed: feet mashing the floor metallically, arms up like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum in a phone-booth, turning a complete three hundred sixty degrees. There was some sort of inner conflict here.

"This is a body! And... Not the one I would have chosen. This is all Echelon's fault" it huffed, slumped forwards now in the very best the body knew to represent the intelligence living within it's body language as "not-perky", something it obviously wasn't designed to do.

Okay, well. That was something. He got it to stop screaming, somehow. So it wasn't a robot, but it was. And Echelon was at fault. Echelon was... Redrick vaguely remembered a cackling, metallic freespacer before he left the Fruna Ruica.

Okay. We can work with this. And this robot - er. Person? Was the same one screaming about something earlier.

Gears in his mind clicked, finally meshing. Cogs turned. Solenoids flipped.

"...You're not that poor girl who got squashed, are you?" Redrick said, in a tone of flat disbelief. How was that possible? And yet, it was the only thing that made sense.

The relief was palpable, almost instantanious as its shoulders slumped, hands moving to wipe sweat that couldn't possibly exist from its brow with a "clunk".

"Ahaa... Finally the stone falls. Yes, I am she."

"Huh." Redrick said. This single-syllable gesture seemed to convey far, far more than such a simple utterance should - it seemed to say, "Oh, so I was right" and, "How is that even possible?" in the same go.

Still.

"How... how?" he asked.

"Oho?" the white figure swayed its hips from side to side like an excited school girl, the pink picojelly chest bouncing rather inappropriately. "Want to see?"

And then it took the backpack from its shoulder, slowly unzipping it.

"You might like what you're about to see."

Redrick peered into the bag as Aiesu unzipped it, signifying his non-verbal consent to view whatever was contained within. He winced. The contents were indescribably gruesome.

"Ah. I uh. I think I seen enough." Redrick said, his expression that of someone about to be physically ill. "That's a little bag of nightmares you got there."

"That's me" she stated, voice softer now. "Or what's left of me."
There was remorse. Still, the body language was inappropriately enthusiastic
"There's none of me inside this body. Its like a puppet, you know?"

"I think I grasp it. The head's controlling the robot." He furrowed his brow. "Ah, then I guess that means someone's controllin' the head...?"

He didn't sound sure.

"Hang on..." she said, sifting through pockets in the bag. She took a small screw-driver, plopping the bag down on the kitchen table. Carefully, she stripped flesh back on one side, dirtying the squeaky clean ipod-like fingers of the bunny-bot, revealing surgical silvery metal beneath.

"I'm underneath all this. Want to see? I've been meaning to remove the casing anyway."

He had to admit. His curiosity was piqued, despite the gruesome circumstances. He nodded. "Ah... sure. But don't you think this is a little forward for the first date?"

The bot gave Redrick a long look as he sat at the other side of the table, as if she wanted to smile but the stoic face couldn't. Screwdriver in hand, the wrist was soon spinning like the neck of a drill, extracting long hex-bolts the length of fingers from the skull -- one at a time, setting them aside. She was particularly organized, each equadistant and perfectly parallel.

Then the hands met the metal skull again -- slowly prizing it apart down the middle like some model kit of metal or an engine-block: One dented half coming away dripping in gibs, smelling sweetly rather than of blood. She set the armored extrusion aside.

Within sat something massive and amber, resembling an egg in a very loose approximation of a brain. Plugs ran into the bottom, where the brainstem began but beyond this it was wholly smooth. The only exception was a single ring of metal over the left side with something enscribed into it. Beneath the semi-clear surface, glitter seemingly moved like billions of tiny ants or the surface of the sea from an airliner.

"Well, nice to meet you."

Redrick smiled, despite himself and the circumstances. "So, that little soft-boiled egg is you? Hello. I'm Redrick Callahan."

He paused, grinning. "I'd shake your hand, but, you seem a mite indisposed."



The bot watched, taking a moment to get the joke. There was lag. Carefully, it extended its white arm before looking back at the red and white liquids smeared over the white then worming its fingertips as if it had placed its hand in something particularly nasty.

"Aiesu Kalopsia. Practicing physician of Luca Pavone and acting medical officer. Could you pass me a towel or something?"

Redrick looked around, then spotted what he wanted. He leaned back on two chair legs in a hilariously unsafe manuever, and grabbed a roll of paper towels, tearing off a generous sheaf before rocking back solidly onto all four chair legs. He passes the bunch to the robot-puppet.

"There you go."

"You mind doing it?" she held out her hand, almost like a queen expecting him to kiss them. The prospect wasn't particularly nice. "The vision on this thing isn't very good. I don't want this thing stinking. Better disinfect it too."

Redrick shrugged. He leaned forward in his chair, completing the entirely unintentional image of the chivalrous servant kneeling before the ruling matriarch. He wiped the hands clean, grimacing at the sheets of gore he lifted from the pristine, white fingers of the robot. He hmmed and hawed a few minutes, wiping, peering, then wiping again, small grunts of dissatisfaction exuding from him.

That wasn't enough. He got up, and found a spray bottle of general purpose cleaner, spritzing, wiping, the ancient ritual of the naval service.

Eventually, he was satisfied. The hand was probably cleaner now than it had ever been.

"There you go, Aiesu." Redrick said, bundling up the sheaf of ruined towellettes. "All clean."

"Much better, thank-you. Can't be much of a doctor if I'm getting all my patients sick... Not that I can do a lot of doctoring in this thing." arms up, looking over herself, then down her back over her shoulder. "Or much of anything, really..."

Redrick raised an eyebrow, less-than-innocent mirth glittering in his eyes.

"What?" she quizzed.

"I think the designers of that body intended this model to do plenty of stuff." Redrick said.

"Wait, like waiting on patrons?" she grumbled. Her shoulders were hunched forward. The software driving the bot's body language was always looking for ways to tittilate: In this case squeezing the assets in question together, forming a sizable picojelly clevage.

Redrick thought for a while on how to tastefully put it.

"Sweetheart, those are service droids. They wait on people, but it's not just drinks and food they provide..."

"Entertainment? Like the animatronics at Neppyburgers? I don't see this thing singing and dancing somehow."

"Oh, Pasco in his grave..." Redrick sighed.

He pointed his finger in the direction of the bunny-bot's crotch. "Tell me what you find there."

"Self-diagnostic says its described as..." and then her head lowered. There was visible disappointment.

"Described as? C'mon, you're a doctor. Do I got to spell it out for you?"

"Its sort of..." she glanced aside... "Well... Ah..."

He sighed. "Starry night, Aiesu, it's a sex-bot. People fuck these things. The man takes his penis, and he puts it in the..."

He made a 'complete the sentence' gesture.

She couldn't look him in the eyes. And yet she found his hands about her plastic wrists, making her audiably wince.

"Kinematic massage... Self... Lubricating... Ex...truded... sexual... ss..sss...surrogate" she said, reading the specification she got back from the diagnostic.

Again, rattling.

He sighed, sounding remarkably like a disappointed father. His fingers drummed on her plastic forearms, before settling on her wrists again.

"And the dirty, vulgar, layman's term is...?"

The rattling became more intense. She tried to retreat, inching back but those hands wouldn't let her.

A long awkward silence.

And then words.

"Do you think its... 'used'?"

Hiccup. The bot hiccupped. Why would it hiccup?

What was he supposed to say? The Fruna Ruica had a whole roster of these particular robots, and frequently they had to be rotated in and out of service due to the less-than-tender affections of the patrons. The bot she was in...?

Well. The maintenance staff had nicknamed that one the Village Bicycle...

He opened his mouth to deliver the terrible news.

"I'd..."

And another hiccup.

"Actually rather not know" she continued. Not giving Red the chance to respond fully. Its hands moved to cover the mouth it didn't have.

He looked visibly relieved that he didn''t have to tell her that particular robot had seen more sexual attention than a convention of porn stars. His calloused hands slid off the robot's wrists, returning to his lap.

"...Why are you hiccuping?" Redrick said, after a period of decidedly awkward silence.

"My personality, the way I act and the way I think is all based on a real person of the same name. This is one of her perculiarities" she replied, hiccupping again.

"Ah. Okay." Redrick said, understanding one thing, but having many more questions raised. He decided to table the matter. "So, you're not the... real, real Aiesu, but a... copy? Is that the right word for it?"

"A construct. An artificial intelligence that's a replication of a real person. Again, nice to meet you."

"Ah, my apologies. This is uh, all just so new to me." Redrick scratched the back of his head, an oddly Yamataian gesture from such an old nepleslian. "I'm... I'm the new cook. I mostly just make food, I don't know a lick about... AI, and... science..."

"That sort of thing's my speciality. And food... Food... I should be able to appreciate it eventually. I have a replacement body on the way. One that eats. Hoey..." she held up her arms, as if she were covered in gunk, marvelling in disgust at the spectacle of her own appearance. "This is not how I imagined I'd be making first impressions... I wouldn't mind going somewhere to get this thing disinfected but first, I need to prove to Luca I'm not a chiropractor. You're Nepleslian: What's your idea of revenge? This whole mess is his fault."

Redrick blinked. He didn't expect to be asked such an existential question.

"...Ah... Prank him, I guess?" He shrugged. "Eye for an eye is my take on such things, but in this case, I don't think a one for one reparation would be terribly appropriate..."

The bot soon went fishing through the bag. It produced a metal cigar-case, parting it like a book down the middle. Within were many tiny ziploc bags of assorted colored pills, all rolled neatly and organized by color, shape, press and position. She hummed softly to herself as if selecting some glorious confectionary before producing a small bag of vibrant semi-clear pink capsules laden with green and cyan sparkles before closing the case and slipping it back into the bag.

"Tell you what: You're a chef. He eats. Put one of these in his next meal."

Redrick blinked again. It seemed to be his first reaction to something he couldn't quite cope with instantly. He gingerly took the capsule in his hand, looking at it in a way that suggested they held a great power he couldn't comprehend.

"These ain't gonna kill him, are they...?"

The bot held a pale hand over where her mouth would be, cackling quietly like some scheming villain in a Yamataian sentai show.

"Only his pride. And his inhibition. Probably in abundance."

"Oh, well." Redrick rolled the pill in his hands.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!" she extended her hand out flat, fanning the air as if sh were bouncing some tiny invisible basketball. "Don't handle it in your bare hands... You open the capsule and sprinkle the contents into whatever you serve him. Soup. Drink. Sauce. That sort of thing. Its slightly bitter so you'll need to cover that up."

"Well. If I'm gonna be complicit in food tampering..." Redrick put the pill back in its little bag.

She covered her hands with paper-towels and began removing the large golden egg from the skull, slipping it into the bag, then taking the two easter-egg halves of the silvery skull -- depositing both into the bin as she leaned over revealing those broad picojelly fleshtone hips and a taut smooth belly, depositing the nonsense aside. Finally, she zipped the bag back up again squeezing that chest together, seemingly very pleased with herself with a sigh of contement. And then she noticed him.

Redrick sounded extremely suggestive. He eyed Aiesu's current body with an almost hungry, predatory look. He pocketed the baggy. "...I'm gonna want somethin' in return, y'know that? The trust a consumer puts in the man that makes his food is sacred."

"Well... You are going to be disinfecting this thing, right?" she said, tipping her head back. Apparently a machine could be aloof. "Hands all over it, over every nook and cranny?" She crossed her arms beneath her chest, wrists raising slowly as her arms tightened: one elbow in hand, fingertips along her face in thought. The posture was impish and mischevous and the emphasis below was particularly deliberate, drawing Redrick's eyes to those rolling hills of softness.

Redrick paused, as if considering something. His eyes still seemed to hold a great deal of desire, but he was having trouble voicing it, as if it were embarrassing, a deep, dark secret, something only whispered to a complicit lover in the middle of the night. Tension, wet, heavy, sensual, seemed to fill the atmosphere of the kitchen to Aiesu's limited senses.

In this moment, Redrick realized this was one pervert talking to another. They spoke the same language. The same page. The same sentence. The same word.

He opened his mouth to say something, but paused, as if looking for the right words.

"Being washed by others isn't an experience I'm particularly fond of. For my own convenience, there's no reason I shouldn't step out of this thing for two, maybe three hours? Provided its clean when its returned to me, I'm perfectly happy."

Wait. Were they talking about the same thing?

"...Why would it take me that long to clean your body...?" Redrick looked confused, the tension that had built shattered in an instant.

There was almost laughter. Okay, same page.

"You want me to SAY it!?" The bouncing rolling of shoulders. "What, like cherry on the cake? Seriously?"

Did she really know what he wanted? Could she... read minds?

"...What? How in the galaxy could you know what I wanted to do?" he said, incredulous.

"Men's eyes are obvious animals" she sighed. "And beasts do sing, to dance. "

By Pasco's grave, what the hell was she quoting?

"Do you seriously want me to say spell it out? To hear me say it? You're really dirty. You'll seriously regret it when you meet me"

Redrick's eyes looked to the floor. He sighed, heavily. In a quiet, meek voice, something that even this short time they'd known eachother was extremely out of character for him. He looked up to her, briefly making eye contact, before looking at the floor and finally, finally speaking once again.

"...Ah, you're a doctor right? I... was just wonderin' if I could get you to look at my leg. It's been bothering me for a long time, and I ain't ever had the money to go to a hospital..."

Again, that very careful, very subtle cant of her head. Ears rolling to the right. They weren't even in the same library.

"What? But I thought--"

Redrick, again, looked very confused. "...Thought what...?"

"Well, you have urges, don't you? I mean, sure I'll play doctor for you, if that's what you mean. Though, I am a qualified physician, so it'll probably get kind of pedantic... I wonder?" her gaze rose, index finger to chin in thought.

"Play doctor? Wha...? Urges!?" Redrick again looked so confused. "No, I just want you to figure out what's wrong with my leg... just what in the hell do you think I want from you?"

"Er... Well... What do you think takes two hours, that's done alone between two naked people? -- Well, a man and a bot, anyway..."

A switch flipped again.

"...W-with that thing!?" Redrick said, aghast. "A-Are you serious? That thing has seen more dicks than every other 'bot on the..."

"The..." He trailed off. "The fruna ruica..."

Some how, even without life, in this moment Redrick learned that a machine could stare at a man with dead lifeless eyes.

"P-Pardon?"

"You're... The body that..."

"I don't want to hear it!!" she interrupted. "None of that. Nope. Nope. Noooope." she stood up with a clunk, knees locking with a thud as she rose to her feet. Theatrically, it placed its hands over where a person's ears would be, in spite of the large lapine set atop its head. "NOPE-NOPE-NOPE-NOPE!"

"But wait! You're still gonna look at my leg right!?" Red said, desperate. He stood up as well, banging said leg against the table and sitting immediately back down. His head slammed against the tabletop, momentarily consumed by agony.

"NOPE!"
 
Crimson Kestrel, Lounge Room

Somewhat absentminded as she skirted deeper inquiries into her thoughts and opinions it took Tamamo as moment to realize that the one identified as Seiren was looking at her. Hearing his call she ended up reaching out to catch a glossy hard object that was tossed to her. Holding it carefully between the nails of her thumb and index she sniffed at it curiously as a second such object was delivered to Shayla.

Her attention was shifted away from the strange object as Aiesu? began to move and wandered toward the kitchen grumbling something about chiropractors. Intrigued Tamamo swivelled her ears to follow the sound of lagomorphic automaton.

The Old Nepleslian Man also seemed to get up and plod in the same general direction his uneven gait fading slightly behind her. Shortly some sort of encounter seemed to follow starting with a query of the status of Aiesu?'s components before a retort about personal space.

There was some confusion involving the fridge, the insistence that Aiesu? was a robot before a loud denial of her status as a robot and chiropractor. It all seemed to be rather arbitrary and seemed unlikely to be interesting before the identity as a L'manel was raised.

Seemingly spaced out wide dark jade eyes staring out into space as she listened intently to the exchange Tamamo wondered at what she learned the blame of one called Echelon followed by the eventual confirmation of Aiesu? as one Aiesu Kalopsia, and a moment before the Old Nepleslian Man was identified as Redrick Callahan. Briefly Tamamo wondered why Aiesu necessitated an introduction which he had avoided previously.

From there the conversation seemed to degenerate into less interesting subjects though the suggestion of placing an object into Luca Pavone's food, the identity of Aiesu as a 'construct,' the mention of a leg injury that had gone untreated due to financial issues, and some other details that she didn't quite understand did come up.

Blinking and refocusing as she dismissed any further conversation coming from the kitchen Tamamo idly tossed what she assumed was a candy into her mouth. It was rather pleasant, at least until the lightning.
 
Fruna Ruica, Bridge, THEN

"Oh," Zeta said as she watched the video. She frown under the helmets visor and shook her head. "Well. Nevermind. Fuck that guy. Fuck them all. By the way there was a guy in one of the hotel room. That half snake lad, no idea what they are called. He got shot, but I got him some first aid. He seemed to be some kind of celebrity, so once your ships doctor gets find he should stop by there. I am gonna go now."

She walked up to the Reese, once captain thanked him. Zeta softly picked him up. "There we go laddie," she said to him with an unvisible smile under the helmet. "You did great, now let's go home."

Crimson Kestrel, Lounge, NOW

Zeta leaned forward as the large hand slapped her across the back. It almost kicked the air out of her lungs, but she somehow held on to the couch and did not fall down. She looked back at the giant woman and frowned. The frown then changed into kind of a grin as Zeta leaned back against Luca, putting her head on his shoulder.

"No amputations," Zeta said. "I need him whole."
 
Crimson Kestrel, Lounge
Luca sighed gently as he heard more chaos and madness happening around him on his ship. Melissa, meanwhile waited for Redrick, but heard something happening in the kitchen and stood up to investigate herself. Her beer was empty too, so all the more reason. He chuckled at the commentary from Shayla and was glad she was keeping things light and humorous, and flashed her a smile.

"You know what I sometimes wonder about?" Luca asked nobody in particular, wondering out loud as he looked up at Vita, who was still looking down at him, and already trying to figure out how to get back at Aiesu, overhearing her kitchen scheming.

"What do you wonder about, pops?" His daughter asked her father.

"Well I..."


Elsewhere...
"The energy drink guy?" a silhouetted man barked at the subordinate who managed to get away from the utter slaughter at the hands of the Phoenix crew, living to tell the tale. Why were all the lights in this place angled? Was the sole purpose of all these lights JUST to make the place ominous? Did this man just absorb any sort of direct lighting for intimidation? "G-san, you getting this? Tch, no, put the goddamn sword away, we don't do that sort of thing here."

A clattering noise echoed throughout the hard-to-see chamber, scraping across the floor for a moment before dragging upwards, and leaving the sound of metal ringing in the air.

"Honestly, it's exactly like herding cats, you know? She's good at her job, but overzealous like- speaking of, these people also took out Breaker?" The silhouetted figure ranted."Breaker." They repeated, sighing with exasperation."Rocket hammer, 'I'm gonna smash you into paste', I am a bulldozer Breaker, speaks entirely in red text Breaker?! By the ENERGY DRINK GUY!"

The pacing silhouette pivoted and crashed into a chair.Without skipping a beat, a glass of something presumable refreshing and alcoholic appeared in his hand.

"This is going to be a," he took a pause to drink, drumming his fingers against the glass, "hard one to spin. An entire team of recruits - sorry," he shook his head, looking back at the lone survivor with a single finger,"An entire team of recruits, minus one, completely slaughtered. A Ranger candidate outright obliterated, and my favorite psychopath captured and en-route to some prison."

"Th-They're independent, though!" The bloodied recruit said. "They'll need to meet stop somewhere to turn her over to the fuzz!"

"...Better than nothing. G-san, get your tail in gear because you'll be playing fisherman this time. And don't be afraid to use the goo- I said - put that sword away!" The silhouetted man stamped his feet against the ground to get G-san's attention. "No decapitating the poor guy! He's had a rough day." The sound of steel sliding back into a sheath with a click could be heard. The recruit uttered thanks to an unseen god. "Look kid, I'm really, really sorry about her, she doesn't like incompetence. Or traitors.Just take your gear, and prepare to get our Breaker jailbroken."

The silhouette ran his wiry fingers through the recruit's hair. His fingers were cold, even through the gloves he was wearing.

"Ah... well, you've passed, kid." The silhouette said, still a predatory edge in their voice. "Welcome to the GAO. We've got a busy schedule ahead of us, and I'm going to need every hand on deck. It's Phoenix season, so get your fowling pieces and prepare to shoot them and keep shooting them until they stop getting outta that pile of ash! We have ammo for days here!"

The recruit blinked at the silhouette. Strange way to put things...


Crimson Kestrel, Lounge
"...yeah that's what I don't enjoy." Luca concluded his wondering with his daughter.

Vita looked at him funny. It was him being his bumbling self again as far as she was concerned. "Do you mean when you get cut off during interviews because they find what you say confronting or racy?"

Luca rolled his eyes. Nepleslian interviewers were polite enough to answer back or attempt to attack his character instead of trying to wrestle him offstage or cutting the video feed. "No, it's ... something different, like..." Luca put up a hand and grasped at the air. "Like the world's paying attention to somewhere hundreds of light years away instead of you."

Vita sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "You may have validation issues, dad. That, or they were vaporising some strong quaaludes into the air of that ship."

MISSION 3 - COMPLETE!!

"You might wanna jot that down for the bunny," Luca replied, "and don't tell her about the mysterious letters that keep appearing." He pointed upwards at the orange letters. "She nearly laid an egg first time she saw 'em."

Vita looked up. "Oh, that, yeah." She reached up to try and grab one of the letters, but her fingers went right through it. She clicked her tongue as Echelon's voice could be heard crackling over intercom, a digital laugh of sorts from the Freespacer.
 
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