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Abandoned Submission [Monarchy of Dovania] A-02 Dovanian Hardsuit Hybrid

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Just my input here, you may want to change the url for this page as currently its basically called infantry which sounds like a page describing the fighting force of MOD

perhaps faction:monarchy of dovania:hardsuite would work instead, this way the link itself gives a clearer picture of what the page is actually about
 
It may have been said, it may not have been but you might wish to include Xuralt as a subarticle for approval - otherwise the suit would be made of an unapproved metal.
 
Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ❌ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ❌ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ❌ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ❌ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✔️ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate
[ ❌ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ❌ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✔️ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✔️ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✔️ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.


The first fixes that the article will need are listed and discussed below:

1. The most glaring issue I see (and the one that needs to be addressed first) is the lack of content in the article on Xuralt. Without knowing the properties of the metal, I can not make a confident estimation on the weight of the armor.
2. Please credit the artist (banzz) somewhere on the page.
3. There are multiple fragments and incomplete sentences in the article which need to be fixed. I'm working through them right now as I re-read the article, but I need you to proofread the article and sift through the text with a fine-toothed comb.
4. A lot of the phrasing is awkward and reads poorly. Again, I'm working through the article to fix them as I review the armour, but I need it to be proofread on your end as well.
5. "It’s almost completely dependent on its power systems to be running the power armour."


This is not a drawback.
6. I'd like to see more detail in the sensors and communications section. What kind of sensors and cameras are installed on the armor which allow it to detect "moving objects within a 500 foot [152.4 Meter] radius."?
7. As club stated before, the namespace could be a bit more specific. I would suggest, "faction:monarchy_of_dovania:a-02_harduit" instead of "faction:monarchy_of_dovania:infantry".
8. Please add a brief descriptor in italics underneath the headings of the armor size and damage capacity stats subsections.The statement can be as simple as, "The following section states the size specifications of the A-02 Dovanian Hardsuit Hybrid."


Based on the appearance of the art, the armor does not look like an "ultralight combat armour". As a reviewer, I'm having trouble perceiving the armor as light, because the art gives me the impression of a heavy, advanced, and expensive suit of armor. Could you explain why you wrote the armor this way? I don't want to alter your creative vision against your will, but I think this armor would work better if you embraced the depiction of the suit in the art and made the armor an expensive, heavy, exclusive and advanced piece of military hardware rather than something that is meant to be cheap, light, and easily mass-produced. If you do decide to go that route, it would be best to bump the armor up to Tier 4 and then to make the appropriate fixes from there.

My other concern relates to Dovania's relatively low level of technological development in comparison to the rest of the setting. Xuno is only a year removed from a scientific base resembling the West in WWI, and to say the least, it's hard for me to envision them having the technological development and industrial capacity to produce 2 billion of these suits in such a short period of time.
 
I am going to grab this submission from Immortal. @Dragon_God how are changes coming along? Thanks, ahead of time!
 
Sounds like this is abandoned, so I moved it. You can ofc resubmit it with a new thread, so no worries for once it is done.
 
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