Star ArmyⓇ

Star ArmyⓇ is a landmark of forum roleplaying. Opened in 2002, Star Army is like an internet clubhouse for people who love roleplaying, art, and worldbuilding. Anyone 18 or older may join for free. New members are welcome! Use the "Register" button below.

Note: This is a play-by-post RPG site. If you're looking for the tabletop miniatures wargame "5150: Star Army" instead, see Two Hour Wargames.

  • Site Supporters: claim your Star Army patch in the Patch Claim Thread by May 21 to get a Star Army patch in the mail! To become a Site Supporter, check out the donation options in the Account Upgrades section of your profile.

Approved Submission [Monarchy of Dovania] Updated Currency Page

HarperMadi

Submissions Reviewer
FM of S6
[ ✔ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
Did a quick edit to your OP to show something real quick. Next time you post one of these things, open the full editor to get the entire list of options and fill out anything you need. Other than that, it looks good.
[ ✔ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
Couldn't actually find a template for currencies, as it's included in the Faction template. However, I see you've followed the example of the NDC and other factions before them.
[ ✔ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
Formatting's nice, I enjoy the placement of tables, and the pacing of the article.
[ ❌ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
Here's where it doesn't really work. I note you have a lot of incomplete sentances in your writing, even in JP with me. While this can be used as a pacing tool, it does nothing to add to this article. In stead, it makes reading of it jarring and seem more cliff notes or napkin scribbles than real article.
[ ✔ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate
Links to every other major faction's currency, well done! Nice touch!
[ ✔ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
I've found currencies, exchanges, and rates, to be a fun tool to explore an alien nation in RP. This fits rather nicely as that one really small economy with the super deflated currency that looks cheap, but isn't really.
[ ✔ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
Not applicable
[ ✔ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
Probably used another article to get the basic structure, but it's full of original information and I can't tell where the format came from.
[ ✔ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
Currency. Not worried about it.
[ ✔ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.
Not applicable.

Could you run this by a few buddies to find ways to flesh out your sentance structure and language?

Also, the article switches at points from almost directly addressing the reader to a bland statement of what it is. An English teacher back in my middle school years liked to talk about something called "voice" in writing. Basically, the perspective of the narrator, and the personality of them, as though they were a character in of themselves. How do you want this article to sound, if read aloud to you?

Let me know if you have questions, comments, or concerns on my review.
 

HarperMadi

Submissions Reviewer
FM of S6
Second problem.

Due to math @Alex Hart and I did based on a 1.5 lb sample of 60-ish percent pure platinum (Expensive rock), the Tekk should be about 65.6:1 to the DS, making the value in your exchange rate field 0.15 Tekk, not 0.05 CenTekk.
 

Dragon_God

FM of S6
Game Master
The wiki has been updated, adding in a real conversion rate. Though I will say this does not mean that it’s accepted in Dovania. I’m adding this because I was instructed to. Unless deals are made with Dovania, the subjective rates will apply to everyone IC. Until then, Subjective is IC, real is not canon right now. As contact with anyone other than NDC has not been made yet. Therefore their currency will be worthless to Dovania.
 

HarperMadi

Submissions Reviewer
FM of S6
Still needs some work in pacing and voice. However, all of the other technical details are good, including corrected conversion rates based on an in-game sale.
 

Ametheliana

Sensei
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
FM of the Iromakuanhe
Game Master
Alright, I can work out with you in DMs some time what sentences are issues. Most of the sentences in the intro paragraph are such incomplete sentences that they don't make sense to the level where I couldn't re-write it for you. DM me on discord and we can find a time that works for both of us.
 

Ametheliana

Sensei
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
FM of the Iromakuanhe
Game Master
Alright, Dragon God edited and so did I with his permission, now if @HarperMadi could follow up, that would be great. If Madi takes longer than three days, @ me again and I can approve this for her.
 

HarperMadi

Submissions Reviewer
FM of S6
Okay, sorry, I had a computer melt down on me yesterday, so let's go ahead an approve this due to Ametheliana's, and your edits. Thanks for your patience on this.

APPROVED
 
Top