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Approved Submission [NDC] AI centered Starship Starbreaker

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Thank you Jack!

alrighty, so this thread hasn’t been reviewed by an NTSE, and I’d still be interested in having it done so.
 
There are a lot of things, but for the most part they're all small little fixes

  • Intro paragraph; "It was built and later put into use in late YE 42 ." Did you forget to put the year it was built? Because you say "and later put to use"
  • About the ship; "The Starbreakers were a class of Starfighters " Should be "The Starbreaker was"
  • About the ship; No link to the Duskerian legion page.
  • About the ship; 2nd sentence down, you might want to rewrite that to get the flow cleaned up, it's hard to tell what it's saying, especially the second sentence.
  • Key Features; This should be written to focus on benefits and important aspects about this product, not the downsides of other products.
  • Appearance; There is no link to the sparrow
  • Appearance; "The wings pointed back in reverse of the Starbreaker’s wings. " Is this supposed to say "Sparrow's wings"?
  • Appearance; "There is no cockpit apparent to the Fighter Starship " "Fighter Starship" should not be capitalized, if it was the name Starbreaker then it should be.
  • Appearance; The second and third paragraphs should be put into the main paragraph, also it's "load-outs", you put "loud-outs"
  • History and Background; there are some redundancies in the paragraphs, restating information.
  • Damage Capacity; needs a link to DRV3, also shield information should be mentioned as well as that second line being removed
  • Armored Hull; the gel's features should probably be its own paragraph but also there's repeated information between the first sentence and all the other stuff
  • Computers and Electronics; I understand you don't want to list out everything and write a new article. But please be a little more clear on what the AI suite inside it is. You listed two systems and then didn't specify which one you're using a modified version of.
  • Weapon systems; Both of the listed load-outs are very 'over tiered' in terms of damage out put the majority of their weapons are higher tier than the actual ship, these need to be balanced out.
 
Hey Syaoran!

First, I’d like to say thank you so much for reviewing I appreciate it! Words can’t express how happy I am that Starbreaker is getting reviewed. So I wanted to let you know that I took the bullet points and began making corrections where needed. I hope that your concerns are corrected now, and clearer. I also shifted most of those tiers to 8 since that’s the ship’s tier. And added in the Shield’s tier, though it isn’t mentioned on the page.
 
Unfortunately, you can't just list the weapon as a lower tier than the article for the actual weapon. Now vehicles and PA are allowed to have weapons higher tier than them, but you can't just shove a bunch of weapons of higher tier onto a smaller tier vehicle. What you'll have to do is get a variety of weapons of different tiers, or get the weapons updated to include new tiers.
 
Alright, I rechecked the Tiers for the weapon, and changed them accordingly, Unfortunately i had to remove GH's Laser array. But i did have one replacement for one of the weapons. I hope this works better. I also had a brain fart about the Cerberus weapon.
 
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Okay going to mark this as APPROVED however you need to go into the damage capacity section and list if it comes with Bubble, Conformal, or Two-Facing shields.

Also make sure this gets linked on the pages it needs to be
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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