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  • Current IC Month: 7月 YE 42 (through October 11, 2020)

Approved Submission [NDC] Guardian Sanctuary Hospital.

Charaa

Well-Known Member
Here's the Hospital I mentioned as well as the other pages that were added for it. i think the drugs i listed were already approved, which is why I didn't add them to the unapproved list. I also didn't add the a template because I wasn't sure if its considered a corp or not, and I didn't actually use a template other than the basic one with extras.
 

Charaa

Well-Known Member
There hasn’t been a review of this submission, I hope everything is ok with it and its not causing problems?
 

Charaa

Well-Known Member
With Whisper's help the updates for the Sealant gel and the Autodoc went well. With Whisper needing to take care of real life stuff, Jack said he will be taking care of some of the help Whisper had been giving me.
 

Charaa

Well-Known Member
@Ametheliana Hey Ame,
so i worked with Jack and we got through the last article's edits, but I'd like to apologize, for adding so many to the submission, in my interest to getting as many articles submitted, i may have put too many in this one. I don't know how you want to proceed.
 

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
I don't see the problem. All of the sub-articles are fully filled out and seem to be high quality. I would be happy to review the whole lot in OP. Are you worried about your own work load?
 

Jack Pine

Staff Member
FM of NDC
Game Master
Just wanting to make sure they're up to standard and free of any errors for correct information.
 

Charaa

Well-Known Member
I'm more worried about making you do too much reviews. But if you feel its ok, its alright with me. Jack and Whisper have been great help.
 

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
I don't know how that's a concern as this is the only active review I know of, lol. It's true I'm one of the only reviewers and am looking for more but that doesn't mean my workload is stacked up at all. I would rather see a lot of articles that are all filled out than a few articles with only a paragraph each, for the wiki's sake.

I'll review these during the beginning of this week.
 

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
Can the auto-doc have dimensions on its page?

For the ambulance can you link to the propulsion system it is using?

Can you explain this part of sealant gel a little further in the article?: "After a short period in its gel form, its consistency thickens and its bond to an individual improves."

For the hospital, be careful of random capitalization such as within: "contains the Accidental Injury wards for Teenagers and adults" " is reserved for the Population’s Synthetics which contains" " The Hospital has Lounges, a few for the Doctors and Nurses to rest"

Thank you for submitting some great resources!
 

Charaa

Well-Known Member
Thanks for doing the review Ame! :)

Capital letters: So I first began with the Hospital, and I tried to make the corrections namely to find the unexpected capitals and make them lower case, I did leave when it was the case of a place, or thing. If I had missed one or more, I apologize.

Sealant gel: That was the part that Whisper had added in when he helped me, but from my understanding, it’s a gel, so unless it gets rubbed onto the wound, the gel will grow, and as it does more nutrients and the effect it makes also grow, and since the gel is likely smoothed around the patient, it conforms to them. This was why he said that the gel bonds to the individual.

Autodoc: I’d prefer not to add that because from what I learned, from my Shipyard page for my Mining Guild, there was a problem with ships actually fitting in it, and in this case, the Autodoc is meant to allow for every species even the big ones like a ID-SOL, or a Tsumi to be able to go in, and I am concerned if I make it for those heights It won’t adequately perform its task for the smaller patients. Also I am horrible at math.

Ambulance: The propulsion system has been added
 

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
Remember that a proper noun is something that should be capitalized. Places and things are still nouns but sometimes can need to be capitalized. Here is a definition: " a name used for an individual person, place, or organization, spelled with initial capital letters." Exterior, Doctors/Nurses, and Teens do not need to be capitalized, for instance.

Regardless of who wrote this part of your submission, you're responsible for making sure it gets approved. I asked you to add to the article how its consistency thickens and bonds and I still need that in the article to feel it adequately explains how it can be used in RP.

About the autodoc, I don't need dimensions then. Thank you for adding propulsion ^^
 

Charaa

Well-Known Member
I apologize Ame. I added to the footnotes in the Sealant Gel, and I went back to completely deal with the capital letters.
 

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
I don't think it needs to be a footnote, but I won't get hung up on details. One thing I think you should remember is that lines like: " This was why he said that the gel bonds to the individual." Are confusing to the reader. Copying and pasting from the submission thread needs to be done with a biiiiiit more care next time.

Please take that line out. Otherwise, approved for IC usage.
 
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