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Approved Submission [NDC, Independent] NH-M-M2 "Orchestra"

Whisper

Retired Staff
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=corp:noval_heavy_industries:nh_m_m2_orchestra
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Outlaws (Independent)
  2. NDC
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
The latest in personal space management, with an emphasis on space, the Orchestra is a remote object manipulation device with some fun fluff.

noval-promo-orchestra-2.png
“With Orchestra by Noval, your world literally revolves around you!”

I've tried to take things like range, affect strength, etc, into consideration. This and a piece of tech that will follow it are part of my plans to create fighters and such that have detached weaponry. It's a lot of work to do what could essentially be done with drones, but hey!

Thanks in advance. :D
 
This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
Grammar related things;
  • First sentence of the second paragraph of 'Function' you mention 'either' but only list one thing.
System related things;
  • The 'weight limit' of this device will have to be listed more clearly, it's hard to find unless you read the whole thing, but also the way you listed it, doesn't really take into account unarmored individuals, so we have no idea what their limit would be.
  • Also there is no size for the Conductor, so I'm not sure if it's a bracelet, a bangle or a ring
  • Based on the size of the Orchestra, I'm assuming it's supposed to attach to things like batteries when mounted on things like PA or vehicles. Does it have its own power supply? Also what are we looking at for battery duration?
 
Hey Syaoran! Thanks for the feedback.

Here's what I've done in response:
  • Cleaned up that out of place word.
  • Edited in the size of the Conductor to both the description and Availability sections. The table at the end should make it pretty clear. (Finger ring sized)
  • Added a 'statistics' section that addresses weight limit and power supply in a simpler fashion.
Thanks again! Let me know if you see any other issues.
 
Can you give an estimate of 'battery life' for a 'typical battery of proper size'. It doesn't have to be 100% accurate, but since this has the potential of virtual hardpoints people will need to know how long it works.
 
Sure. I've added a section to statistics that outlines that. It's pretty much a copy of the HONEY's run times, but I don't mind making it explicit.
 
Okay well that's pretty much it, just change T2-T3 to the same as T1, (The honey drop reactor is for T1-3 pretty much) then we'll be done
 
Fixed! I also changed the formatting a bit to use ':' instead of '-' as a separator. Looked a bit weird on a second pass.

Thanks for the help!
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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