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Approved Submission [NDC] Survival Kits [remade]

This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
  • What's a quoit in the context of survival gear? I Googled it and just got some old-school ring-tossing yard game.
  • I suggest explaining the mask more because it's not clear if it's something like a painter's mask or a full gas mask (what model?)
  • Style suggestion: Pick a capitalization for your list items and apply it consistently and remove the end punctuation commas and periods
  • Consider alphabetizing the bullet lists
  • The basic shield generator could use some explaining. What's the power source? What the DR rating?
  • Style suggestion: Fix incorrectly nested sections by adjusting header levels
  • Add a history section, description section (most of the existing stuff goes in it) and a usage section that says how it's used
 
Let us know when this is ready.
 
Sorry i didnt mention it here. its ready, just waiting on FM approval at this point. *hugs*
 
If @Wes wants to review this still I will let him, if not I will do it.
 
Go for it, Andrew! And thanks Charaa for the updates! You're improved it a lot!
 
This submission has improved since the last time I saw it.

Just a few quick recommendations.
  • Some of the wiki inlinks should be changed like [[wp>parachute_cord]] to [[wp>parachute_cord|parachute cord]] to get rid of the visible underscore.
  • Choose a consistent presentation of your list items. You switch back and forth between how you list the items (ask me if you need a deeper explanation)
  • Maybe include an image of the backpack since it has art?
Anyway, just minor changes, then ill post the checklist.
 
Hey Andrew, thanks for taking this review! :)

So I went in to make the additional corrections. I hope its good now :)
 
[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and the article template. Is all the information for struct present?
[ ✅ ] 3. The article follows our wiki-style guidelines, including No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✅ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels.
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and credited in the OOC section.
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✅ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✅ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Approved.
 
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