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New Submission [NDC] The S6-HBT "Hades"

Ametheliana

Sensei
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
FM of the Iromakuanhe
Game Master
The LEWD armor is not approved and is near to being abandoned. With that in mind, do you want to wait until it is approved or do you want to take out references to it? Same goes for the Centaur.

It doesn't actually measure up to the DR value given with its size. See the drv3 size chart.

What type of license is actually required for a purchase?

Please review the its vs it's guide and make appropriate changes.

Otherwise, looks good and good work. Very thought out and worked on.
 

Jack Pine

Staff Member
FM of S6
Game Master
working on the LEWD armor per Char's request
up sized the vehicle to match the listed DR rating
clairfied what kind of license
um, haven't been able to really comb for the it's vs its problem

also I'm now submitting the Centaur and it's main gun tonight
 

Charmaylarg Dufrain

Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
Game Master
If i finish the LEWD armor today and Ame has not already claimed this article i will take it since ame has said in the past they consider claiming and article as throwing the checklist down~
 

Charmaylarg Dufrain

Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
Game Master
I like the tanks look~

[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✅ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ❌ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✅ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ❌ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ❌ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ❌ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Here's some fixes this article still needs:

HBT and MBT (Heavy battle tank, Main battle tank) are two different classifications of tank, But are both listed in the title headers text.

In the history section it lists a past threat but doesnt allude to what. The Wiki is all knowing and should list such things so the reader, If they dont know or play in the NDC will also know. Linking to this threat as well would be ideal if it exists in the wiki or could be recalled in the forum by post.

"It would be finalized and tweaked, being manufactured by the Department Of Engineering (D.O.E.) for deployment in late-YE1. " lists an assumed wrong year and should be fixed.

"3 pilots" listed on the crew section should be changed to reflect the role of the driver, gunner, And i would assume commander.

"S6:100+ all per month " under production is confusing and should be something like 100 per month

The speeds category is unpheaseable. Even in SARP and even a hover tank should not be able to achieve 85mph while on treads or 120 mph on a hover when most ground vehicles or even lighter tanks cant even match the tread speed. Tanks are slow as a general rule. They dont have to be a slow crawl, but a heavy tank should not be outpacing lighter tanks from more advanced factions.

the interior section is oddly worded and could use some touching up.

The computer system section makes no sense when it lists a "crystalline graphene based processor " As graphene is not a crystalline based material

the LEWD armor, As Ame mentioned is not yet approved. But also lists nothing about shielding from EMPs, Hence this vehicles material should not be considered EMP proof. Few factions in settings other than the spacers using nuclear weapons, And a smattering of EMP based weapons on the indi sector even use EMP so it would be fine if this was changed or removed.

the vehicle has a range of operations easily several times longer than its advanced faction counterparts. Range represents how long and far a vehicle can travel before it needs to be refueled. In the case of ships it is usually a timeline or distance in AU/LY, In the case of vehicles it is usually mileage or distance as a recommendation.

@Jack Pine will need to officiate his support for this tank.


@Charra its pretty good for a first tank and while it may seem like alot to ask for from me its all very minor stuff. Keep up the good work and @ me when these changes have been made.
 

Charaa

Well-Known Member
Since LEWD armor is being worked on, I’m going to leave it be, so it’s there for when that’s been approved. I realize this may mean that the approval for the Hades would be delayed because of it. [Baring no issues, of course] for the speed, I did go with the fastest real-world tank, but Alex or someone was saying that was a little slow [I think I don’t remember the actual comment x.x] so I changed it to match the Hydra I think.

For a Sci-fi tank, what speed would you recommend?

For the Computer system, I remembered something from watching Stargate more than Star Trek, so I wrote something new there. I hope this works much better.

the interior section is oddly worded and could use some touching up. I apologize since I was the one who did that, and so I am willing to have help in that department.

oh, I took the +all part from that specific section too.

@Charmaylarg Dufrain
 
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