What's new
  • If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at [email protected] or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
  • 📅 April 2024 is YE 46.3 in the RP.

[Nepleslia] Adjudicator Battleship

Charmaylarg Dufrain

Charmaylarg Dufrain

🎖️ Game Master
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:nepleslia:starship_classes:adjudicator
List Any Unapproved Sub-Articles

Moon Breaker Coil Gun on Star Army Space Roleplay

stararmy.com stararmy.com

Ammo on Star Army Space Roleplay

stararmy.com stararmy.com
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Nepleslia
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
So nepland has had like... 40% of its dam articles pulled over the past few months so i have a lot to submit that i gotta replace... This is the replacement for the primus battleship.

I hate ship articles and im terrible at them, So take this with a grain of salt that i dont understand a whole lot of what ive types here. And i still dont understand the weapon limitiations.

Also i know like... 10% of how a coil gun actually works from reading the halo books, Please dont ask me to seriously type out 100% how a MAC gun operates cause i genuinely cant...

Nep FM stamp is Me. Unless @Legix want to give it a good once over cause hes made more ships than me.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
I have started the review process for this, will post as I go through it. :cool:
 
A few immediate concerns-
@Charmaylarg Dufrain

I am going to start with the formatting and missing pieces issues to the current document.

  • Emergency Systems - nothing is listed under this heading.
  • The Systems Section should have actual text and prose, not just bullets with links to systems, an example of this properly done is the recently approved article for the Azusa-Class Light Gunship.
  • I think some investment should be considered in creating more unique interiors. It helps make the ship have an identity and make it more player friendly. I understand the situation you're working with due to the removals.
  • Heading sections need to be nested correctly.
I also want to open this up to other people to look at as well so they can offer you suggestions.

Other Notes -

I really like the look of the design, it reminds me a bit of the MCRN designs in The Expanse (my favorite sci-fi). It is everything a battleship should be and it's look is very dominating and demands presence on the battlefield. I need a little more time to go through it all but I wanted to give you something you could get started on.
 
Last edited:
Thanks, Andrew.

(also i love the expanse, especially the books! i wish i could describe that kind of tricky and high maneuvering ship combat it provides sometimes!)

Ill be quite busy the next few days up to mothers day so i wont be able to fix these this week. And there seems to be no desire for this vessel/ ive misunderstood something and apparently nothing was lost and we're just going to restore everything with the same names but different prose and wording instead of using this opportunity to make new things... So there might be the need to put it on hold when i figure out which one of those it is if i have to change the history and some stuff about the ship to keep it. Ill keep posted on if i need to hold this submission when i find out.
 
@Andrew i'de like to ask this submission be put on hold for the time being. I have some changes to make to the history and structure of the ship/article and will post when ive made them so i can have a fresh review on the edited article.
 
No problems. I am mobile right now but I will update its status later.
 
Yes that would be wise. I find myself busy with a significant amount of other projects. Im fine with having this marked as abandoned/rejected until i can come back to it at a later time. Which i have every intent to do in the future~
 
RPG-D RPGfix
Back
Top