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Approved Submission [Nepleslia] Cobra Class Gunship

Charmaylarg Dufrain

🎖️ Game Master
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:nepleslia:starship_classes:cobra_gunship
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Nepleslia
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
Short range (compared to a lot of ships out there) gunship made for delivering small groups of marines to conflict zones ahead of a fleet, And sticking around to support them as a base of operations, CAS, and ground support and anti-fighter stuff.

Its about the size of one of those big yachts millionaires own. Big if you're standing next to it, But small in the grand scheme of starships.

The Svarog also isnt approved yet. Its not my article so im not going to submit that, I just want to get this into the NTSE while i can and if the worst thing is me waiting for a weapon to be submitted to finish this submission i dont have a problem at all~

@Legix as FM
 
Last edited:
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i see now... I didnt choose the more options or preview when i made the thread so it only did the submission final link. Fixing now.
(just ignore that! imagine in your minds eye an incredible and perfect ship that needs no edits and is passable in the NTSE~)
Fixing that.
 
Okay looked this over and going to go through some things
  • Can we drop it's Sublight speed to 0.385c? I know it's supposed to be super fast, and I'm okay with that, but since it doesn't seem to be sacrificing anything (It's still a Class 10 vehicle defensivly) I'm afraid of having it take such a big jump of speed from the 0.375 to 0.4.
  • On the armory table, the grenades, knives, axes, and golem armor got positioned wrong and do not show how many of them there are.
  • The 'multiple' probably refers to the things above, but it's in front of the ESGs
  • The actual ship weapons should probably have their details bulleted, instead of in a chart. Also teh weapon and Vehicles section, should either be its own section or under 'Ship Systems' th
  • the ADF, it's range is 'less than 1 mile' but this is an anti infantry weapon, so it's going to need to be more exact. (Also anywhere near a mile range is a bit huge for an active denial field, cause that means indiscriminately, people within a mile will be in pain when it's on. (Making it almost unusable on the battle field)
  • As for the scalar array, the one you linked to is lethal, and what you wrote doesn't explain what this one actually does. I assume it specifically targets and 'fries' electronics, which is fine, but just say that so people know what it's doing. (Also under payload you still put that it kills animals, and people are animals)
  • Svarog's link should probably be at the top of it's section (I almost thought it wasn't linked)
  • The counter measures need a little explanation. It's easy to get what they do, but 'how' is needed so that GMs can devise traps their players have to think around (explicit detail is not needed but just enough that if someone never heard of this before they would know what it is and understand a little of how it works)
  • the wording on the vehicle section is confusing, I'm not sure if it can carry one of those things or all of those things.
  • I'm not sure what the second half of the first sentence of the power armor bay section is saying
  • The Radiation shields should have its own mini header, or combined with the Damper shield and maybe BLack Veil into the 'shielding' section
  • The sensor and scanning stuff should be combined into one header as well
 
One thing I hate to point out and I know i'm not a reviewer but the crew accommodations. One pilot, One officer, Two Gunners, Two Engineers. Might be worth uping this depending on how you want to do rotations. So might be worth adding two pilots and 1 gunner and one Engineer. That would allow a 3 shift rotation of 8 hours on and 16 off as a example.
 
I agree and have changed that, Soban~

As for requested reviewer changes:

Ive made the ship speed change. I based it off the old Ghoul patrol craft it was to replace. Ship speeds are still beyond me so ill differ to ye judgement~

I thought the list style of the weapons layout looked really nice, Fixed. :( And vehicles are their own section without being Weapons AND vehicles.

the ADF is now down to 100m at its maximum effective range. And ive use some text that its a more or less a system used for when the players or all the npcs need to leave the ship so thers no "well whose protecting the ship?"

Yeah a lot of neps old ship weapons are before the templates and standards. I use what we have and am planning on replacing all of them. EVENTUALLY. For now tho ive fixed the text about the scalar array that i hope helps.

Fixed the Svarogs link.

Added the text from the AEGIS article to the countermeasures to explain what they do. Im not smart enough or well written enough to figure that out on my own.

Fixed the vehicle section to outline what it can and does carry.

Hopefully fixed the PA section. Im not so good at describing "Its all one big area. Half is vehicles, Half is power armor."

i re-worked all the systems portions to have the shields and sensors all be under the right headers and sub-headers.

@Syaoran
 
we want to avoid having copied text on multiple pages, so if these systems are from Aegis you can just put something like "Includes the Hyper Space Tap, and Anti Radar chaff from the Aegis system as it's primary counter measures" and then link to Aegis. (It's bad for site rating if google notices the same text repeated on multiple pages)
 
Okay now I went through and did grammar and spelling checks (sorry that took much longer than it should have.)

I only see one thing. The vulcans, the weapon itself normally is a Gatling-type (it has five barrels that rotate when it fires) When you're saying that you have a double barreled and quad barrel variants, are you saying that it's firing two and 4 shots at once? Or just that it's rotating that many barrels?
 
Sorry i can and will fix that wording.

I forgot the vulcan was a rotary weapon.

I meant by Double Barrel, and quad as being on the same hard-point perse. cobra weapons.jpg

In this case the weapons share the same mount instead of being spread about across the ship on twelve different turrets when they are instead consolidated into four hardpoints. I prob didnt do the math right, i never do. But i assumed they would fit into the allotted tier equivalent weapon groups because combined they should reach T-9 for 8 vulcans on two hardpoints.

so in this case two vulcnas or as i put them, a Dual vulcan on a single mount would be two weapons firing at once.
 
[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✅ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✅ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✅ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✅ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Let's go ahead and APPROVE this one.
 
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