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Approved Submission [Nepleslia] NOMS Law

Legix

Legix

Well-Known Member
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:nepleslia:nomslaw
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Nepleslia
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
Since it appears the submission form is no longer listed in the thread Wes made, I'm just going to post here. That new template used button, @Wes, isn't good for things like this that DON'T have a template; maybe we could get that changed to allow non-URL answers?

FM-approved because I am the FM.
 
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I think it'd be cool to have @Wes look at this at he was a major proponent of the symbol change.
 
Looks like this is exactly what Wes and the others worked out in that thread about medical symbols. Thanks, Ame!

This is a pretty straightforward and well-written article, and, in the absence of a template, seems to fulfill the required points that other law articles have been approved with. It could be cool to see a little more beef, maybe in the form of expanding upon the symbol's descriptive text itself. Who came up with the symbol, for example? I know it was an OOC effort, but maybe it was a commission of Nepleslian sawbones who was consulted. Or maybe think up some in-universe explanations for what the six arms and Rod of Asclepius symbolize.

I took the liberty of changing your hyphens to emdashes and fixing a minor clarity issue.

Now, let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ! ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✔ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✔ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✔ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✔ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate
[ ✔ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✔ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✔ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ~ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✔ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Here's some fixes this article still needs:

1. According to the "lower_case_with_underscores" rule, the destination URL should be :noms_law or perhaps :medical_symbols_law (for brevity and descriptive accuracy).
2. What I said above about giving some in-universe explanation for the symbol itself as a means to beef up the article and give more detail. This isn't a condition for approval, but would make the article even better 😶

When these fixes are made, please post a reply here so I can re-check the article. Thank you!
 
1. Okay - so just rename it on approval. That didn't really need to hold it up, I don't think.
2. I made a paragraph detailing its creation and testing ICly; but I don't want to do any more because I don't think the symbol needs some massive hoog thing. The article is meant to be a footnote, just like all the other billions of law pages.
 
  1. Bear the symbol herein detailed; superfluous information or organizational details may additionally be worn, however the previously noted symbol must be presentable and visible in every case.
  2. Ensure that any equipment created or produced following the installation of this legislation bears the symbol herein detailed.
  3. Have completed the replacement of now-defunct medical symbols, to improve nation-wide standardisation and communications, by the first day of YE 45.

I just thought I'd pop by and offer a few changes to the way the laws are written to liken them a tad more to how laws are written in my experience - take them or leave them I just thought I'd give you the option ^^
 
Legix said:
I made a paragraph detailing its creation and testing ICly; but I don't want to do any more because I don't think the symbol needs some massive hoog thing. The article is meant to be a footnote, just like all the other billions of law pages.
Click to expand...
Man, that's perfect. It's exactly what I was looking for as a reader and now reviewer of sourcebook materials. Not only does it make the article visually more balanced, those on-the-fly Legix setting element ad-libs are the rarest form of beef. The new stuff is good from a writing quality standpoint.

On my initial read-through, I felt your legalese was spot-on. So although I believe it's fine as-is and should not be changed, cutting it down per Ethereal's suggestion won't change whether this can now be approved. Up to you, @Legix.

APPROVED
 
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