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  • Current IC Month: 9月 YE 42 (through December 31, 2020)

Approved Submission [Nepleslia] Warhawk Class Frigate

Charmaylarg Dufrain

FM of Nepleslia
Game Master
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:nepleslia:starship_classes:warhawk
List Any Unapproved Sub-Articles
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Nepleslia
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
Small, light, plotship sized frigate with a niche for hunting those pesky stealth ships the same way modern frigates serve as escorts and submarine hunters. Predominately torpedo and missile focussed with three small energy turrets and misc countermeasures.
 

Whisper

Submissions Reviewer
FM of NDC
Game Master
Hey Char! Took a bit longer to get to this than expected, sorry about that. Here's some things I see on my first pass:
  • The sub-article for the gun looks fine.
  • You're missing a speed for the CDD.
  • Minor capitalization inconsistencies (particularly the ship's class and damage capacities) and grammar issues (primarily run-on sentences) throughout the article - give it a thorough once over and I'll fix whatever's left next time
  • Most of the tables don't fit the starship template.
  • Weapons and some other sections also don't fit the template. I wouldn't remove everything, but if you could start the section with a block like the one included in the template as an 'at-a-glance' view of the ship's weapons, I think that would do the trick.
Overall, cool ship and no major issues outside of formatting.
 

Charmaylarg Dufrain

FM of Nepleslia
Game Master
1. Thanks~
2. Added CDD speeds in line with starship speed standards
3. Fixed a bunch of rando-capitals i came across as well as some typos and a smidge of grammar and formatting. Its a lot of text to look over so I'm sure i missed one or two tbh~
4/5. Information was added or removed from the template as was relevant and is allowed in the submission rules so long as it is still recognizable to still be the relevant template. All the relevant information for the weapons (Number of weapons, Damage rating) is still present but with added information such as purpose, range, and information about the weapon while still linking to it without needing to open another article just to reference such a thing, And information seated in tables instead of lists has always been allowed as an alternative and adds better readability in long articles like starship articles. All the required parts of the article are also still present where applicable with the exception that some of them are out of order (like the armory subheader section being closer to the bottom of the inside the ship header, etc.).
 

Charmaylarg Dufrain

FM of Nepleslia
Game Master
It does~ The nep speed standards simply don't list CDD limits or standards and i know so little about starship speeds its beyond me to add one.
 

Whisper

Submissions Reviewer
FM of NDC
Game Master
I think the speeds listed on this page (https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:nepleslia:military:starship_speeds) for 'Distortion Field' are probably referring to the CDD(Continuum Distortion Drive)? The couple of Nep ships I looked at didn't list a 'Distortion Field' separate from the CDD, so I think they're the same thing?

Under sublight speeds, the '4c ...' part should be removed. c is the speed of light - so anything greater than c is no longer sublight.

I'm not sure if I've seen tables used this way, but the reviewer guide does say it's fine to make alterations to the template so long as the outline of the page is generally inline with the template. I think that part is true and you're the FM of Nepleslia, so if you're fine with it I don't see a reason to be difficult about it.

Thanks for doing a grammar/capitalization pass!

Once the speeds are sorted out, I'll do an official pass. Thanks again!
 

Whisper

Submissions Reviewer
FM of NDC
Game Master
Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✅ ] 3. The article follows our wiki-style guidelines, including No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✅ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✅ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✅ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

A note on the Third Eye System - the way I read it is that it is a potent anti-stealth radar system that operates across all bands, but does not guarantee that it automatically negates all stealth. Given that the purpose of this ship is to be able to see ships in stealth, I think it's reasonable that it has greater abilities in this area - just not perfect ones.

I'm not worried about you abusing it Char, but it feels like one of those 'this needs to be said somewhere, just in case' comments is appropriate.

That said, Approved!
 
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