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Approved Submission [Nepleslian Bulk Submission] Drones and Tech-Pack.

Charmaylarg Dufrain

Charmaylarg Dufrain

🎖️ Game Master
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:nepleslia:equipment:tech-pack
List Any Unapproved Sub-Articles

Na-J5 'Ranger' on Star Army Space Roleplay

stararmy.com stararmy.com

Na-J6 'Pocket Turret' on Star Army Space Roleplay

stararmy.com stararmy.com

Na-J7 'Fastball' on Star Army Space Roleplay

stararmy.com stararmy.com

Na-J8 'Sentinel' on Star Army Space Roleplay

stararmy.com stararmy.com

Na-J9 'Overlord' on Star Army Space Roleplay

stararmy.com stararmy.com

Na-JX 'Crablet' on Star Army Space Roleplay

stararmy.com stararmy.com
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Nepleslia
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
Any redlinks are the tech-packs final namespace location and are that way on purpose.

Fm Stamp by me.
 
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Hey Char!

Thanks for the submission! I've started looking over the articles and will aim to have them wrapped up by Tuesday evening. If there are no major objections at that time, I'll go through the checklist at that time.

Some problems I've seen so far are a lot of run-on sentences, some spelling issues, capitalization errors, and a lack of links to other articles within each section. I would recommend any list in a sentence that has more than three or four items, or complicated descriptions, be made into an actual list for readability. The last note is that your article had some 'incorrectly nested sections'. You can check for that (and other issues!) by checking the bottom of the page where it says 'Quality'.

I've made an initial pass on your Tech-Pack to address these issues (you can see the differences here). If my edits seem good, please try to do the same for the other articles.

One of your submission links didn't work, but I was able to track it down in the article itself. If I can fix it for you in your post, I will. :)

Last thing - awesome drone art! The Tech Specialist looks like it will be very cool.
 
Fixed that submission link for the overlord. apparently my links are turned into emojis...

Did what i could be fixing some sentence structure and capitalization but in regards to linking i only link on the first reference to something. As in i wont put 30 NAM links in the same article or even 5 when i can simply link them once. But i have added a couple of instances i saw of links i did miss adding.
 
Its been one week, Just reminding that unless I missed something Ive attempted the requested changes unless anyone has more (there are a few articles there and i did them not all at once so i cant say they are to the same changes or standards and that's a lot of articles to hunt down each capital letter and fix each sentence structure that's wrong). I work early to late so if anything else needs to be changed i can get to it as early as tonight or tomorrow evening.
 
Hey Char! Sorry for the delay.

I know you said it's a lot to hunt and fix, but someone has to. When submitters (including myself!) don't, the reviewers do. In some cases, this has taken one or two hours of my time for a single article. With multiple articles, that time could grow.

Regardless, I'll chip at it some tonight! Thanks for being patient.
 
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I went through the first four drone articles. There's some To-Do's for you in those - some section headers went into subsection headers immediately and need to have prose added. I've indicated those as "(NEED TEXT HERE)" to make it easier for you to spot. There's also a lot of capitalization issues in headers and the text. You can see an example of the changes I made here.
The stats and tech itself seems good so far. :D

When you've had a chance to fix the above and do a pass on the other articles to correct capitalization and some of the basic issues, let me know and I'll continue my pass!
 
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@Whisper im still working on this submission. But even if the requested changes are simple I keep procrastinating and starting tomorrow i need to work super early at work everyday and i don't know if ill have the time after work to finish it.

So can i get this submission put on hold for a bit. Ill finish it as soon as i can but just in case i don't it wont sit stagnant forever.
 
@Whisper Ive decided my lack of motivation to do wiki-work runs deep right now~

As such I'm removing the drone sub-articles from this submission and taking them off the wiki and ask that we just review the tech-pack. Im going to take the models i made for the drones and offer them up on the new nep-WIP page so people more imaginative than I can use them for the nep tech-specialist role.

That being said does the Tech-Pack need anything right now or is it ready for a checklist? I don't remember if it was included in the things that needed changing or if that was the drones?
 
I think we had gotten to a good spot on the Tech Pack, so I can take a look at it and if I see other stuff that needs to be handled I'll do that for you. :)

For the drones - they were in decent shape, they just needed someone to go through and do an editorial pass before I'm ready to take another look. Is there someone who can help you with that? You've done a lot of work, so I'd hate to see it all get shelved. It's your call!

I'll wait to hear back, but I'll try to start on the tech pack tonight.
 
Ive already shelved the drone models and gotten rid of their pages, if i find the motivation i might recover their revisions tho.

They weren't bad but I would rather just give others the motivation to use the models to make nep drones who have a broader imagination than me, as nepleslia now has a section of its wip/wanted page for free-use models and art for the faction mostly made by myself. I like the Doga to Mq4 to Blender models and kitbashing i do but not even nearly so much the wiki work. So for stuff like that i'd rather give people the motivation to do things like make drones for the tech pack through free art for em so i can use that time to just make more models~
 
One thing I noticed across all the articles was that a lot of things that would normally be capitalized had been made lower case, including stuff from the template. Not sure how that happened, but it's something to keep an eye out for next time. :) I took care of the ones I found, but you might want to do your own pass just to make sure I didn't miss an acronym somewhere.

That said! Let's give this a look.

[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✅ ] 3. The article follows our wiki-style guidelines, including No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✅ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✅ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✅ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Approved!
 
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