Star Army

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Approved Character New Character Sophie Trang

Jack Pine

Staff Member
FM of NDC
Game Master
I was confused on why tagged at first, but see after reading the page. Organization would be the New Dusk Conclave. Also I'm surprised you made them an NPC instead of a full player character. We do have the university plot if albeit a bit on the slow side, but it covers the slice of life side of things for the faction as well, along with side JP around the students. Also likewise, Ben is in the Brimstone plot which follows our top WRAITH, which Ven is the only other current one of, and his crew doing their sneaky footwork.
 

CMDR Scotty

Member
I was confused on why tagged at first, but see after reading the page. Organization would be the New Dusk Conclave. Also I'm surprised you made them an NPC instead of a full player character. We do have the university plot if albeit a bit on the slow side, but it covers the slice of life side of things for the faction as well, along with side JP around the students. Also likewise, Ben is in the Brimstone plot which follows our top WRAITH, which Ven is the only other current one of, and his crew doing their sneaky footwork.
Sorry for the mixup it was supposed to be a playable character that has been corrected.
 

CMDR Scotty

Member
If she were born to an Iromakuanhe family, it makes sense her name wouldn't follow Yamataian standards but Iromakuanhe ones: https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:iromakuanhe:naming

Just a tip ^^
Sorry for the mix-up but other than the naming convention how does it look? I am running through the naming convention again. I have been running through the regions to trying to find a matched equivalent. I put some serious time picking a name for the character. Sorry for the delay in reply.
 

Ametheliana

Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
I don't think her telepathic ability should be within physical. What's more, changing "claiming" to "calming" would be a beneficial change in that section. Ivuori very rarely have blue hair. Maybe she got somatic tuning?: https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:iromakuanhe:somatic_tuning#pigmentation_modifications

Thanks for changing the name, it's tough but more fun later when she actually sounds like she is an Iromakluanhe character, even down to name.

"Akio suppressed her spices Xenophobic tendencies and ran forward for safety."This sentence could go with changing up to make more sense I think.

Also, maybe add that at one point her family left the Iruotl cluster? I doubt that the NDS Raven was up that high.

I can tell a lot of work was put into this character, thank you for making them!
 
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CMDR Scotty

Member
Thank you for your feedback.
I have settled more on a name from Singapore to keep with the Asian theme. I settled on some European influence and named her Sophia. Sophia is a popular name for girls in Singapore for its meaning of wisdom after the Greek goddess. I am still looking at last names though Singapore and Vietnam are not forthcoming. I'm looking into the rest of Indochina. Is it ok to have a first and middle name from one region of southeast Asia and the last name from India or the middle east?

On clarification are you saying I should limit her ability more or move them from beyond physical touch by a few feet?

Oh!! when I read about hair and saw it said rarely. I thought it was either a recessive gene like the 1-2% of the earth population had red hair or not a lot of people historically have chosen blue. It was just my favorite color. But I can change it if you think it would serve the character better with Somatic Tuning?

Also sorry for the mix up between earth and the Iromakuanhe felling toward foreigners in most of Africa, the middle east, and Southeast Asia they are very unwelcome to outsiders. I can change that though that's not a problem.

"one point her family left the Iruotl cluster." I can work with that I can make it a work vacation also do you need me to change the name of the freighter. I chose the name because he was a famous Chinese diplomat from the old silk road?
 
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Ametheliana

Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
It’s better to take inspiration from, but not rely too heavily, on the real world influences. Do what feels right to you when making a name, on top of adding your own flair.

Move empathy down to the personality section (by a few feet option).

If an alien were to ask you if red hair was “very rare” on earth, would you say yes? I know I wouldn’t. Blue is rare amongst the population of Ivuori- not players. That said it’s not the biggest hangup. Maybe she’s born with it; maybe it’s somatic tuning. Up to you.

The sentence about Xenophobia just doesn’t make sense. The article’s grammar needs adjusting to make sense.

I didn’t catch the name of the freighter. I particularly like the Chinese Empress that fortified the silk road’s outposts so I’ll look into whoever it is you refrenced. Generally taking from real life is a grey area and usually not okay but I’d have to see it. The rest about not being in the Iruotl Cluster is tops- can’t wait to see changes there.
 

CMDR Scotty

Member
It’s better to take inspiration from, but not rely too heavily, on the real world influences. Do what feels right to you when making a name, on top of adding your own flair.

Move empathy down to the personality section (by a few feet option).

If an alien were to ask you if red hair was “very rare” on earth, would you say yes? I know I wouldn’t. Blue is rare amongst the population of Ivuori- not players. That said it’s not the biggest hangup. Maybe she’s born with it; maybe it’s somatic tuning. Up to you.

The sentence about Xenophobia just doesn’t make sense. The article’s grammar needs adjusting to make sense.

I didn’t catch the name of the freighter. I particularly like the Chinese Empress that fortified the silk road’s outposts so I’ll look into whoever it is you refrenced. Generally taking from real life is a grey area and usually not okay but I’d have to see it. The rest about not being in the Iruotl Cluster is tops- can’t wait to see changes there.
Updates have been made let me know what you think. Also, I do thank you for taking the time to help build my character. I did a lot of reading before I ever even started. You can imagine was a lot of information to remember and digest so having a guide was most appreciative.
 

Wes

Founder & Admin
Staff Member
FM of Yamatai
STO Fleet Member
Moved thread to approved characters!
 

Ametheliana

Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
You are welcome, dude. I could certainly see the effort and although there were corrections to be made, that doesn't mean I couldn't see just how much reading you had done. I am really thankful for that, they are a hefty species, people say, as far as lore to read. I enjoy their nuances, though! Have fun with your character on SARP!


Updated character URL on wiki, on the OP, and name in title.
 
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CMDR Scotty

Member
Thank you for all your help. As a guest in this universe, I will work hard to adhere to the rules of the game and maintain the accuracy and respect that you expect and deserve. My love of history as a kid help me to learn and read. So when I see a universe so well developed I can't help but read my way through every aspect of it.
 
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