Star Army

Star ArmyⓇ is a landmark of forum roleplaying. Opened in 2002, Star Army is like an internet clubhouse for people who love roleplaying, art, and worldbuilding. Anyone 18 or older may join for free. New members are welcome! Use the "Register" button below.

Note: This is a play-by-post RPG site. If you're looking for the tabletop miniatures wargame "5150: Star Army" instead, see Two Hour Wargames.

Approved Character New Character

Foxtrot 813

Prettiest Member
Alright. Thanks for adding the changes I asked via PM, the bio is a lot more solid now.

Three things that still come to my mind before I approve this for Bounty Hunts, though. two are important while the other is just a pet peeve of mine, repectively:
  1. The personality is still pretty small. Please add more stuff for it before I approve the character. For example, you say there that Katya doesn't speak much, why? What caused her to be like that and how did/does that affect her relationship with people. What set of values and morals does she have, how does she feel when faced with X, are good examples of what I mean.
  2. I'm just curious, but is she actually blind, or squints all the time? It would be cool to clear it out.
  3. While I don't think this is a problem (unless there is some dark and forgotten submission rule I missed), since the information on the character comes across, I think it would be nice to write all the info like it's actually a wiki article, citing more facts rather than opinions, especially information that's more technical, such as her appearance. For example:
Instead of
Hair covers most of her ears. Normal ears, doesn't has anythin' on it. No earrings or anythin'
Change to
Although her hair covers most of her ears, her ears are still round and without any adornments
 

Aendri

Site Supporter
The third point is more or less correct. This is meant to be an OOC, factual document. Nothing about how someone else might see them, or stuff like that. You're basically creating God's character sheet.
 

James Baek

Member
Alright. Thanks for adding the changes I asked via PM, the bio is a lot more solid now.

Three things that still come to my mind before I approve this for Bounty Hunts, though. two are important while the other is just a pet peeve of mine, repectively:
  1. The personality is still pretty small. Please add more stuff for it before I approve the character. For example, you say there that Katya doesn't speak much, why? What caused her to be like that and how did/does that affect her relationship with people. What set of values and morals does she have, how does she feel when faced with X, are good examples of what I mean.
  2. I'm just curious, but is she actually blind, or squints all the time? It would be cool to clear it out.
  3. While I don't think this is a problem (unless there is some dark and forgotten submission rule I missed), since the information on the character comes across, I think it would be nice to write all the info like it's actually a wiki article, citing more facts rather than opinions, especially information that's more technical, such as her appearance. For example:
Instead of

Change to

Ok, I'll fix those!
Also, she's just squints all the time....y'know...I like eyes like that..
 
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