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Life Events No more.

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Edto Xar'Sivaree

Lizard Freak!
Inactive Member
So I think I am done. Just over two years on this website, possibly the longest I have ever been on a website before and it has become glaringly clear to me that I need to leave.

As of Feburary 5th, 7:09pm, I was forced to start the train of thought that led me to this decision. It's very clear to me, that my efforts will never be enough, my ideas will never be enough, and that I am just not enough. No matter what I try to do, how I try to do it, and so on so forth, I'm not going to be free to write my stories. I'm not going to be free to express my writings for myself and those players who are interested in the stories that I want to write.

I'm not going to be on this site any longer, barring something I think to be impossible happening, but I hope the site continues strongly. It's an internet roleplay landmark. It deserves to stick around.

The realization that my idea's are incompatible with this website, and the stories I want to roleplay with the many friends I made here will never be left alone to be written. Ideas that I have to try and help the website will be shut down over little things, and I feel that unless I lock step and conform with things that I do not personally agree with, I'll never be left alone. I said that this site changed in my status marking my two years on this website, and it has...

It wasn't for the better. Not to me at least. I joined the site, initially, without even the intention of joining actually. I had joined to get an advertisment affiliate for the Halo website that I was a member of. Then I got digging, as this website often gets people to do, and I saw the potential for so much creative freedom. It was amazing, and after being on oh so many websites that literally forced you to conform and fit into a tiny little box, it was an exciting breath of fresh air.

But, the box soon came to light. It was dealt with. Then I was free from the box. Then, the box came back, and it's still here. Yamatai or Nepleslia. Those are the two boxes, that in essence, you have to conform to. At least, that's the message that has been given to me loud and clear. Though, even when I tried to do something to alleiviate that, the box came and told me to stop. So I'm done. No more, as the title says. I'm not happy on this site, and the creative freedom, that, to me, it promised, was a facade, and unless that changes, I will continue to be unhappy.

This site has brought me many emotions, and I'm sad to say that most of them are terrible feelings. This site has brought me to tears and not in the good way, and not even through roleplay, but the OOC shit I had to deal with on a near daily basis for a good solid year. I had about three months of breathing space in total on this website and that just isn't enough out of two years. I have been the victim of malice on this site that people seem so keen on ignoring and side stepping. I have seen screenshots of people making plans specifically to break me so that I made the rest of my friends look bad, and I have seen people blame me for doing things fabricated in their own heads, and actually be punished for it. I have had to subject myself to berrating, insults, and passive aggressive stabs all because "It wasn't against the rules." The amount of hoops I have had to jump through on this website to get help and relief from the torment I was suffering is quite honestly unacceptable, and never once, even after it was properly brought to light, was a comment made to me of anything to even attempt to make ammends. Instead, even after I came back, and I made actual legitimate attempts to help the website, I was told off, reprimanded, scolded, and only on one occasion was I actually acknowledged, but even not publically. That just goes to make me feel even worse.

Even now as I'm writing this I'm fighting my own emotions to try and maintain some semblance of composure so I can finish writing this.

I am closing my plots. I have spoken to my Co-GM's, and informed them of my decision, and that if they wish to take up the mantle they are allowed to.

I am personally, making it public knoweldge, as last time I did this privately it was not honoured, handing my Vekimen to @Kim and @Noodles who combined have the SARP experince and the joy of the species which will, if they choose to do anything with them, maintain what they are, what I invisioned them to be, and do something great with them. At the very least, they will maintain consistency as to what they are. I am also using this paragraph to mention the Vekimen have a Character Creation Guide which should be followed when creating a Vekimen, at least for the next few years given the Vekimen lore and history.

With that, ta ta for now, and So long, and thanks...
 
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