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Abandoned Submission Oni

ajax228

Well-Known Member
Submission RP Example
https://stararmy.com/roleplay-forum/threads/yamatai-star-army-recruiting-center-ye-44.69095/
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=species:oni
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Yamatai (except Elysia)
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
Time for denizens of hell to make an appearance. There's a few things im unsure on in the app such as them living to be 500 years old but i kept the history as vague as i could to flesh out later as things come up in RP.
 
This suggestion has been closed. Votes are no longer accepted.
I was going to say it’s missing an OOC info section, but that doesn’t seem to be part of the species template. I still think it deserves an OOC section giving credit to you for putting the article together and giving credit to the artists.
 
The inhabitants of Hell have a lot of history and detailing that I am not seeing here. Maybe starting with a search on the forums of "Lorr" and "Lorrfolk" will help. I've read and written RP in Hell and am wishing that we could canonize the in character canon rather than create new history.

 
The inhabitants of Hell have a lot of history and detailing that I am not seeing here. Maybe starting with a search on the forums of "Lorr" and "Lorrfolk" will help. I've read and written RP in Hell and am wishing that we could canonize the in character canon rather than create new history.

The Oni are a separate race from the Lorr. At least thats impression Wes gave me when said go ahead and make a Oni race.
 
My point remains. I didn't say you were writing the article for Lorrfolk but if you are writing the article for the people they lived beside then learning of those people and the place they share -Hell- beyond anecdotal discussions will help your wiki article be grounded in canon.
 
Yeah, I think it would make sense for them to be a separate but related species.

Here's the article on the Lorr, which seems to have been purged from the wiki: Hell's Inhabitants?
 
That's rad. My main concern with historical accuracy were these statements, Ajax:
"In late YE 43 a volcanic eruption and subsequent earthquake would cause a massive cavern collapse killing an trapping many Oni but would reveal the Oni to the surface dwellers. The Yamataian government dispatched search and rescue and aid workers."
...
"All Oni live under the surface of the western continent of Yamatai, however with the volcano eruption and subsequent earthquake Oni can be seen on the surface of Yamatai."

As you can see from Wes' history, everyone knew about Hell's inhabitants and Yamataians and inhabitants were able to come and go as they pleased. By saying oni lived in all the same places as lorrfolk, what would have happened to them would have happened to oni, too.

My fix: Maybe oni lived in specific enclaves? Maybe oni only lived at a certain depth? Either they were so deep or so insular even within Lorrfolk that the happenings of above mattered not? Maybe you have a better idea!

But coming around to your original inference, it does seem like you could be adding more by making Lorrfolk playable. Oni are like Lorrfolk but retconned in to exist. If you just made it Lorrfolk that go by the term Oni, then I could see this species lasting. Either way, they're so fucking rad. I'm stoked to see them playable however they turn.

(Also please include OOC, include wiki links, the environment section contradicts itself by saying they ALL live underground then outlines where they live above ground. And thank you for submitting. It's never easy and me coming in talking about something I love is only possible because you put the work and love in to the article in the first place. Don't let anything I say matter ilu good luck!!)
 
Lorrfolk and Oni do seem like two different races since on the forums Lorrfolk are more lizard like while Oni are more hulking humanoids. i have changed direction of the Oni a bit by having them be isolationists so they could be reasonably hidden until the eruption of the volcano and getting assistance i do need to add this in the article.
 
Just a suggestion, maybe open up a discussion in Setting and Worldbuilding to open up a community-wide dialog so that these wonderful folk can be improved upon. Then maybe reapproach the NTSE when they are more ready?

@ajax228
 
@ajax228 Any action on this? Can I move it on hold for now?
 
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