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RP: YSS Kaiyō Pre-Mission Ten: Mark Isn't Care Free

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YSS Kaiyo

The desk had become heavily used as time went on, the chairs fabric indented due to her consistent presence and the desk cluttered with papers, only some of which being of actual importance. Behind the desk sat Care, who's fingers tapped away at the keyboard in front of her, her facial plates locked in a dull, weary expression that practically screamed 'boredom.' Though she glanced through medical charts and studies ultimately very little of it contained her interest. She found herself glancing to the door every few minutes, silicon-clad fingers tapping against the desk. It wasn't a neccesarily dull day, but it failed to catch her interest.

Mark had been asked to do periodic checkups given the uncertainty of the Geist implant in his neck. He entered the medbay in a black muscle shirt and black jeans, his boots thudding lightly on the deck. The scar running over his right eye and the double helix tattoo curved around his left eye shifted as his deep blue eyes looked about before settling on Care. Running a hand through his black hair briefly before walking over he said, "Mark Oaklen here for an eval. I was ordered by the captain to start having my implant examined periodically."

Care's hands slowed their typing as Mark walked in, the soft glow of her mechanical eyes adjusting as they looked over him. "What form of implant?" The artificial tone to her feminine voice echoed slightly, though images began to shuffle in her head of his file, even as she gave him moment to answer. Standing from her desk, she motioned him toward one of the examination tables. As she stood it would become clear to him that the medical robot, despite being humanoid in shape, was a great deal shorter than him, shorter than average, even. Obviously not of any Yamatai design. "Go ahead and take a seat on the table. I'm Care, let me know if you have any more specific concerns."

"Um, neural. It's integrated into my nervous system, and even more so my optical nerves. Guess you could say it's fully part of me. Oh um, nice to meet you care. You don't seem like the androids or autonomous units I've seen so far." Mark said doing as instructed.

Shifting through the tools of the station, Care allowed her mind to study the information she had on hand, approaching the table with a scanner, turning the device on. "Just look forward, just need to make sure the biology accepted it." Was her direction before she turned to the more personal conversation. "I'm of Freespacer design, though the word means little to me. I'd like to think I'm as conscious as everyone else, though they're certainly more experienced with it." Whether a joke or some odd observation, it was hard to tell. Her voice still held the artificial buzz behind it, like a real voice behind an imperfect intercom.

"You sound like you want to be more organic. Though you seem just as alive as me. The device in my neck let's me be more connected to the technology around me. Granted with Yamatain security and MEGAMI, that is minimal. I don't have any memories from before, so I can't say what possessed me to have such a device installed. But it's advantages are clear. I feel closer to technology, more one with it. Sorry if I sound cheesy, or weird." Mark said his view locked forward.

The scanner buzzed as it analyzed the flesh around the implant, testing it for health and acceptance of the device. As it scanned the mixture of flesh and machine, Care's own gaze went to the screens near the table, which displayed the oncoming data and results. "Organic is an odd term for what I desire, though organics do have an excellent understand and usage of their emotions." Care explained, pausing as a hand went to fiddle with the screens. "It holds irony though, organic seeking to merge with synthetic advantages, and vice versa." She paused, placing the scanner down. "Though neither are quite as simple as it sounds, clearly. It looks like there may be small issue, but nothing that would require physical rectification."

"What kind of issue? And the irony isn't lost on me. What if you could feel emotions? What would you do with them? I could help you maybe." Mark asked as he got off the table and faced Care.

"Just an inflammation of tissue, if left untreated it would at worst cause a rash or minor irritation until the body sorted itself, but I can prescribe a daily dose of a small pill that will negate the effects as your body settles." The question was odd to her, and as she moved to one of the computers she shook her head slightly. "I can feel emotion. To a degree." She paused. "But they are difficult to process, after all, how do you cry if you cannot produce tears, and how do you sigh if you can hold no breath?" She turned her gaze to him, her eyes making a few odd clicking noises. "The body is innately programmed to express emotion, with or without meaning to. If you take away the organic body, there's natural need to express emotion, but no outlet. I can hardly describe some emotions, but they build up with no release."

Mark held his chin in thought, his organic irises began to glow as he ran an optical scan, looking the woman up and down briefly. "Then why not advance, modify the body to allow full expression? I can still help you. Even if not for modifying, I can at least try and help you to understand these feelings."

Care's body was fully mechanical, and beneath the gray silicon flesh plates, nothing of her being was kind, sharp and pointed metal for ease of movement, the points and unfriendly designs hidden from view. Being Freespacer, a sealed nuclear core no doubt rested in her chest. Her body was covered in flesh plates, countless moveable plates with a layer of silicon that resembled plates, their small shape and multitudes allowing easy movement and expression while still giving the illusion of flesh, even if it was gray and obviously segmented. She acted quite quickly, printing off a small slip of paper, handing it to Mark. It was a copy of a prescription, obviously for the spoken of issue. "It's a difficult topic, and one I've thought heavy on." She began, her voice slowing. "I don't expect you to fully understand, but it feels wrong to simply change this body, even if it is for the better, like it is..." Her facial plates shifted slightly, mimicking concern. "...A grotesque thought."

"Even as hypocritical sounding coming from me, I can understand that. At least consider my offer to aid in understanding your feelings. I only wish to help, and I'm sorry if my suggest was out of line. I would understand if you thought less of me because of it. I feel useless here, and am starting to more everyday that maybe I don't belong. I owe the crew a lot. They rescued me, and have given me a place to stay as I try to figure out who am, was, and will be. At least you know who you are, and who you want to be. Never let anyone take that away from you Care." Mark said rubbing his arm feeling terrible after taking the slip.

"Don't let it worry you, you're more right than you think. Just because I'm unsure doesn't mean you're out of line." She explained with a comforting tone, the voice still overlayed with the haze of artificialness. Even without it, her voice was off, and as she talked it became more clear. Her lips moving, as well as her mouth, had no effect on her voice, instead of shaping her language in the organic way it was quite the opposite, her mouth and lips moving to mimic the words she spoke. "You'll find purpose. Or perhaps you won't. Doing what you're good at doesn't mean you've found purpose, and finding purpose doesn't mean all your problems are gone. It's a difficult subject, and there's no singular answer." The spiel was odd, and her eyes seem to glance over him as she spoke. "You haven't offended me, Mark. and I do appreciate the offer, and I hope you'll allow me to take you up on it sometime."

"I already know what I'm good at. I just want to who I am. What kind of person would need the skills I have. I feel...as if I've lost something important. Something, someplace, or someone. Which I cannot tell, but at the same time, there is a nagging feeling at the back of my mind that the past maybe best left forgotten. I've been told that I murmur in my sleep, heavily, and some times as if I am fearful of something. I am obviously having what seem to be nightmares, but when I wake up in cold sweat. I can't remember what I dreamt, anytime after I've slept. I'm sorry if I'm ranting, and I'm glad that you'll consider it." Mark said giving a sad smile as he went on, still rubbing his arm as admitting such thing were hard for him.

Care glanced away, acting as if her work called to her, but in truth she found difficulty meeting his gaze. "I won't pretend to understand nightmares and the meaning of dreams. I fear what amnesia is like, for would I be the same person, or something else? What would happen to me if I regained my memories? Would it all be... Me?" She paused, the placement of herself clearly just a port for her thoughts on the matter. "There is the grim tale I've heard before of the old man and the witch. The old man can't remember a thing, not his name, not his purpose, nothing. The witch asks him what he would like for his third and final wish, and, confused, he requests to know who he was. The witch laughed and said as she vanished, 'Granted! Funny, that was your first wish.'" She turned her ebony gaze to him, eyes staring into his. "If you seek your past, first be sure it is a weight you can bare."

"That is my fear. I have the skills of a soldier, the feeling of a rifle in my hands all too natural. My hand to hand is very developed. I already have a clue thanks to Kasumi, but to be willing to learn truth it leads to. I need to consider heavily. In the meantime, I'll try to build a life here. After all, I've already found some one who gives me focus in that regard. She has my heart, now I just need to see if I'll earn hers." Mark said a confidence renewing his expression on the final sentence, "Despite who I might of been in the past, I know who I want to be for her. My gaze needs to look to the future now."

Care gave a single nod as she sat down at her desk once more. "Just keep in mind, you may try and leave your past, but it may not want to leave you. But if you have someone to strive for..." She paused, as if the words were foreign to her. "Then cherish it. I've heard such things are priceless." Her accent on 'heard' was noteable, but otherwise still toned quit simply. "I can hardly give you advice on it when I can barely understand the needs and wants of myself. I apologise if the heart to heart becomes too personal, but the need to be close to people, more than just social, it's almost painful." She mused, fingers once more typing away. "And I fear if I indulge such things, they will become necessity."

"Not a problem, I enjoyed it, as I haven't truly had anyone to talk to. Feel free to call me if you ever just want to just talk. And one last thing before I go. I ask you this. Does anyone ever truly understand themselves? As for the past, I guess I'll just deal with it when the time comes." Mark said pausing at the door. He turned his head towards Care, and with the red glow of his eyes now off again giving way to deep blue, he gave a smile as he spoke. After he had finished, he simply left.
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