I mean... I had a submission that had equal downvotes and upvotes and I had to deal with four pages over two days of people really browbeating me and making being on SARP the worst time. I persevered:
Can I get an award for getting the most shit flung at me and not letting it stick to me or what. I hope everyone that dogpiled to know that your arguments couldn't keep me or this submission down. Whatever you have against me or Yamatai being capable and pushing you all off of me only revitalizes my spirit to continue making RP that inspires technology and character heroics alike.
Which got... the angry reacts and sad reacts Charmaylarg is talking about, even from him.
It could/would be used in my opinion to essentially continue the practice of shunning or soft-exiling someone by just making their existence harder which we have already seem in one form or another the past few years.
This happens... to me. I'm not sure how it is hard to see that it's extremely difficult for me to exist on SARP because of the group of people that pretends I don't exist, pretends my RP doesn't exist, and makes my submissions harder to get through the NTSE. I'm sorry if you already see that this happens to me and have lessened up, but when FrostJaeger rallied the charge against me, a large group took up banners and was all too happy to beat me tf up. Even Ethereal did the same and I'm wondering if anyone but me sees how one guy with a following will single me out and make my life a living hell and how long that will be acceptable by a community?
It feels othering and it feels like I'm constantly fighting an uphill battle just to write RP and have it affect the setting. I feel like that's the opposite affect people that hate me would want to have. They'd best case want to make me feel fine and safe so I'm not constantly wondering who's going to come swinging at me next. It's been better since Frost was asked to leave for this, so I'm thankful for the reprieve, but does anyone see this pattern?
I sure as heck saw the pattern in my own actions to make people on the internet hate me and made a concerted effort to change. (I wouldn't be so sure, but I've had people on SARP say they can see the difference.) I wish that same self awareness on anyone saying there's a divide that does not realize they've exiled and othered different members.
Some examples of me trying: When Soban had problems with how I dealed with Feyani, I edited my post. He still said he wished he could block me after that and it felt like I was already painted a certain way, no matter how hard I tried to bridge that relationship. When the teleporter pad had problems, I addressed every one but Frost still messaged me afterwards and said he hated me for how I handled it and we would no longer be working together on story elements. Knowing Frost, trying to reach out to him in DMs was bound to explode, but I had given him several olive branches. Even with Charmaylarg, I sometimes think of ways to have him help me with something or if he wants to do one on one RP but remember he fucking hates me because of stuff I didn't even do (and have told him I didn't do, but it doesn't matter) and it makes me realize I've been othered by whatever guys think I suck and reminds me to stay in my own little corner and shut the up unless I want a bunch of those guys screaming about me to Wes. I told Alex recently he was wasting my energy when he wouldn't listen to me and suddenly it's the biggest issue since the price of peaches. It's like I can't use the same language others use because I'm constantly scrutinized and it's endlessly tiring. And I wish it would stop.
I'm not coming back to reply, this treatment hurts and sucks so I'm not going to belabor myself with explaining why it does if people don't want to accept that my time here is tougher than it should be because people use me as a punching bag. I hope everyone can just get along.