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Approved Submission [Shasta] 'Wasp" Drone

Charmaylarg Dufrain

Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
Game Master
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=corp:shasta_no_sekai:wasp_drone
Submission Faction(s)
Nepleslia, Outlaws (Independent)
Submission Terms
I agree
The NTSE finally seems empty(ish) enough that i dont feel bad giving the reviewers just a bit more work...

The Wasp is a simple, Cheap drone made for sentry, fodder, or area denial.

Its cheap, Easily destroyed and is in no way made to be some meta weapon or system short of fielding a full hive of the things to discourage or attack people you dont want entering an area.

Or as a weird pet drone with lasers and a anesthetic filled stinger if thats your niche...

15847
Nep FM stamp: Me. Unless legix finds some reason through a natural fear of wasps that he doesnt want it in our faction...
 

Syaoran

Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Abwehr
Game Master
Okay so a few things that need to be addressed
  • The article title needs to be more descriptive 'Wasp' doesn't tell someone who sees the name on the search bar anything.
  • There needs to be a place that more clearly describes the weapons and their damage potential
  • its armor needs some comparative value. "It's not meant to take hits" doesn't tell a GM what happens if you shoot it with a 9mm, or hit it with a baseball bat.
  • The article should list the price of the Hive more clearly, as well as a price for replacement parts, so probably make a whole section for all prices
  • The headers are confusing, it has a "Core Systems" and a "Primary Systems" which technically mean the same thing, as well as a "Auxiliary Functions" without a Primary functions (I know that's how the template is written but well that's confusing too)
I think that's the key stuff the rest is grammar and such which you might want to go over. I apologize if I seem rude, I just wanted to state the points as clearly as possible so no confusion comes when editing them.
 

Charmaylarg Dufrain

Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
Game Master
No rude vibes given, @Syaoran !

For core/primary systems i know what you mean and its a bit confusing considering they more or less have the same purpose and the only reason ive even filled out both is ive been called out for excluding things from a template before like that. A change to the template might be needed tbh...

I'll fix these things tomorrow on my day off, Thank you for outlining them~
 

Charmaylarg Dufrain

Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
Game Master
Ok. @Syaoran ive done the following:

Added a damage section to set the armor and weapons at a maximum of T-1 on the DvR3 scale.

<Wrap right 25em> doesnt work anymore cause wes got rid of the wrap command... so none of my images are offset to the side which bothers me and they're just clumsily in the way. In fact all of my articles ive used that on are broken like that. And others ive found. Since i dont know how to fix this all my images are now just scuffed as hell but i guess thats how it is now...

Ive removed the Primary Systems because its just the core systems and theres no reason to have the same thing twice. And replaced Auxiliary Functions with Auxilary Systems to just explain its simple AI. so its just its core functions and auxiliary systems now.

Ive added drone to the article header. Its already in the namespace as Wasp Drone. And but now the article is as well.

The hive ive added a price to as well as a pricing section. I never really meant for these to be long lasting items and more just disposable fodder but now ye can repair it and replace its weapons. For the hive it was the same thing, Just a mention for RP purposes so if anyone ever uses these they can get the idea to use a giant hive of the things in their RP. Frankly im not imaginative enough to make an extensive list of what else you can buy for it...

as for grammar and spelling ive done my best but it will always elude me and be my most common issue here.
 

Syaoran

Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Abwehr
Game Master
Alright I went over and looked it over and made edits to grammar and spelling

[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✅ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✅ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✅ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✅ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Approved
 
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