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Shinjiyuu Star System Revamp

Arieg

Arieg

DEFCON Everybody Dies
Submission Type: Star System Remake
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:shinjiyuu

Faction: Nepleslia/NJFA
FM Approved Yet? (Yes/No; Who, When): Approved via Discord
Faction requires art? (Yes/No): Such pretty art it has.

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (Yes/No): Nope
Contains New art? (Yes/No): Nope
Previously Submitted? (Yes/No; explain reason if rejected): This article will be replacing the existing Shinjiyuu article.

Notes: Due to the lack of detail and unrealistic nature of the existing article ( https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=system:shinjiyuu ) I've concocting a replacement to set the standard that all Nep star systems will hopefully be up to in the near future as well as remove the habit of making a planetary article and sticking it in the system nameplace.
 
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One standout problem is that the Neo-Jiyuuian Federal Authority doesn't exist and should be approved as a separate article rather than tacked on to a system upgrade article. Unless you'd specifically like to shoehorn that organization into only ever existing in the Shinjiyuu system.
 
"… Jiyuuian majority specifically from the Tange system.”
Comma between majority and specifically.

“… operations on the star systems inner worlds.”
Apostrophe on system's

“A demoncratically elected representative…”
Democratically, not demoncratically

“… space and arguebly within the Kikyo…”
Arguably, not arguebly

“While initially an emergency measure a time frame of four years…”
Put a comma between measure and a

“… YE-40, one it which all the present members will…”
In, not it

“Due to the present situation of Jiyuuians not just in Nepleslia but across the entire sector their authority is functionally the…”
Comma between Jiyuuians and not as well as between sector and their

“…Nepleslian military personnel all seeking to ensure this…”
Coma between personnel and all

“…enter service throughout YE-39 truly establishing the SDF as a…”
Comma between YE-39 and truly

“Of these worlds three contain breathable atmospheres although only two have the conditions…”
Comma between worlds and three

“A small rocky airless world…”
Commas between small, rocky, and airless

“Additionally due to the planet’s closer orbit the mean average surface…”
Comma between additionally and due

“…its slightly thinner then normal human standard atmosphere however this is …”
Than not then

“…planet’s and the star systems populations.”
Apostrophe for system's

“…form of Neo-Tokyo which represents the largest…”
Comma between Neo-Tokyo and which

“…possible valuable deposits though the…”
Comma between deposits and though

“Though extreme a population of miners have begun…”
Comma between though and extreme

“…expansive feature of the star system littering an orbit over a…”
Comma between system and littering

Notable Star System Infrastructure needs text not just bullet points under the header.

Is there a reason “See also, Territories and Holdings of the Democratic Imperium of Nepleslia.” Is in OOC and not in the article itself?

Link YE in the main text, not just the chart.

Until it has an approved faction page, the Neo-Jiyuuian Federal Authority (NJFA) cannot exist outside of the Shinjiyuu Star System.
 
I'm assuming all of the YE years? Did so. All commas added to your specs (Yes I'm a lowly high school level grammar puke lol). As far as linking to the Territory page there is a kerfuffle over the population numbers but as of now it is the most complete list of actual Nepleslia possessions and links to those possessions. I believe the presence stance is all of the related star system articles need to be updated, until then I'd like to keep it linked simply for ease of browsing.
 
Ok so an interesting situation has cropped up and interrupted my plans related to this system, as stated in its article, going independent in the very near future (and or as soon as the faction page is done). This with the goal of setting up a neutralish Jiyuuian colony with a high state of security and a well established population with its related infrastructure. Now I've got quite a bit of work sunk into this project including ships, tech, a corporation, and some lore.

Now apparently due to the concerns of some unnamed Yamataian GMs who didn't voice said concerns in this thread Gunhand wants to put a stop to this project. At the moment due to the nature of the article (implying independence being the goal and it being approved), my own time sunk in, and the fact the only reason I don't have FM control of these guys was merely a technicality (the faction page is coming along nicely) I'd like to challenge this and continue to proceed developing these guys into an NPC faction. I'm even willing to leave them in the Nepleslian sphere of influence as trading partners and allies (to a certain degree).
 
Wait, so your plan all along was to attempt to steal Nepleslian worlds and not simply improve the article?

The UOC formed because Andrew ran the Fifth Expeditionary Fleet and had a command-level plot where his NPCs were able to do so politically. You've never had that. Shinjiyuu is firmly part of the DIoN, even with some fluff text about rumblings for independence.

Are you seriously admitting that you only did work on something for Nepleslia so that you could create a faction out of nowhere?
 
I told you several times in private, so now I'll tell you here: @Gunhand4171 MUST comment here. You've done this "now-it's-approved-but-something-changed-so-revoke-it" dance way too many times.

Once @Gunhand4171 says his piece, then I'll consider it.
 
Arieg, one of the primary artists for ship artwork and a large mover and shaker in the fleet reorganization right alongside Legix, has stated that he will stop supplying Nepleslia with his DOGA artwork, and will no longer be supplying NPCs to Nepleslia for its upcoming war plot, as a result of this decision.
Click to expand...

So far all this is showing proof to Gallant's statement. Instead of creating the close ally you told me about when you originally designed the article, they will now be trading partners and to a certain degree allies. Those are two totally different things.

Thus, having someone say on your behalf that you will no longer be making NPC's for Nepleslia, then challenging the submission in order to make them only trading partners and allies to a certain degree highlights how far off from the original intention you have strayed.

To that effect, no, I would rather not continue the work on the Jiyu for Nepleslia.
 
I approve of this motion and will be ready and willing to approve or reject said updates.
 
Without offense, I will do the approving or rejection. Your new position, and the stickiness of this issue, leaves me in a better spot.

That said, the FMs have spoken, which is what I need. @Arieg, I need your reply here when you're ready.
 
Gunhand4171 said:
So far all this is showing proof to Gallant's statement.
...
To that effect, no, I would rather not continue the work on the [Jiyuu] for Nepleslia.
Click to expand...

Although I don't expect anyone to listen to me, I don't give Arieg orders; I was just sharing what the GMs decided since I'm a fairly blunt sort of person.

Arieg, if you like, hit me up. We'll sort this through and make it into a better asset for the BSA, along with the bevy of other resubmissions/edits we're about to have to make, and it can be part of that packet if you want.
 
Gallant said:
We'll sort this through and make it into a better asset for the BSA, along with the bevy of other resubmissions/edits we're about to have to make, and it can be part of that packet if you want.
Click to expand...
No way, rofl. The Nepleslian Jiyuuians are a core part of that faction.

Go start your new project from scratch like Zack instead of pilfering others' hard work.
 
raz said:
No way, rofl. The Nepleslian Jiyuuians are a core part of that faction.

Go start your new project from scratch like Zack instead of pilfering others' hard work.
Click to expand...
Kinda like how I made the system article... wrote it all... generated the star system data.... hunted down all the lore..... sure I'm stealing other's hard work Raz. Jesus....

Anyways revisionism aside, the numbers for the system, the paragraphs on each of those planets, and hell the planet art are mine. Since you've established you no longer wish to do anything with the Jiyuuians outside of merely listing them here or there I would like to have that work back to apply elsewhere. Especially since its more or less just going to sit from what your statements have indicated.
 
I was talking about Jiyuuians in Nepleslia being an integral part of their faction today, @Arieg. It's pretty clear that certain players are trying to take away that facet, which several previous FMs have built for very good reasons that help distinguish Nepleslia from any other place. Whatever happens with the article you wrote doesn't particularly concern me, but I love setting consistency and continuity.
 
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