Approved Submission Silverlight

Rizzo

Character Forum Mod
While I’m not currently an NTSE Reviewer I’m hoping to save you a bit of time by offering a couple of quick suggestions.
  • The first spot is easy to miss, the “about the...” header is still followed by the templates “(insert name...)” and could do with a quick fix.
  • The article mentions the material of the grip but I could not see any mention of the blades material. That can make a big difference and I advise not only adding that in but also giving the item consideration. It can have little or great impact on performance.
  • As possible, and hilarious, as the security feature is, I’d recommended adding some more detail as to how it identifies its user. From biometric locks to telepathic connection, there are many options! I personally like telepathy for my own Yamataian characters.
  • The energy source quoted was an aether generator. Now this is a roadblock I personally hit with the aether sidearm. Aether isn’t real, so naturally I have no idea how it specifically works. What I was told is that the smallest aether generators are much bigger than the size of my pistol. After reading up on the aether beam saber/rifle and aether/scalar SMG I noticed that both use a specific battery. IHDK how a battery is meant to do this but apparently it stores aetheric energy for use in weaponization. I recommend that route as I hit the same problem.
I hope this helps, it’s off to a good start!
 

Charaa

Well-Known Member
Thank you very much for bringing these to my attention. I completely missed the About the header part lol, I have made the edits. :)
 

Ametheliana

Sensei
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
FM of the Iromakuanhe
Game Master
We don't have a quartermaster despite what I have heard players say OOC [and didn't correct OOC], just call it the armory.

After "Manufacturer Information", "Enhancements", ""Energy Source", "Weapon Mechanisms", and "Appearance" please put prose/text- not just a bullet point list or link (this goes for every type of header in that it needs prose and text after it).

Merge OOC with Other, imo.

Cool weapon and awesome to see it done. She could use zesuaium for it, but if she ever left service there would be no question that she would have to leave it with the military or reforge it.

Link Wulf.

I would say the aether-ness is an enhancement and should go in that section.

I can't quite decide if tier is right, let me get back to you.

Otherwise, great article! I'll come back with a checklist when you have made the requested changes in the article! :]
 

Charaa

Well-Known Member
Alrighty then

So I wanted to let you know I made all the edits save for Appearance, since it has prose/text,and moved the link down so its under it.
 

Ametheliana

Sensei
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
FM of the Iromakuanhe
Game Master
Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✅ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✅ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✅ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ - ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Here's some fixes this article still needs:

You don't need faction manager approval for this.

This won't hold up approval:

Instead of saying, "The grip is in the colors of Yamatai, though mostly her uniform colors." Can you reference exact colors? They can be found here.

Approved
 
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