What's new
  • If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at [email protected] or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
  • 📅 April 2024 is YE 46.3 in the RP.

Approved Submission Slag Rifle V2 [ready for review]

ShadowWalker

ShadowWalker

Well-Known Member
Submission RP Example
https://stararmy.com/roleplay-forum/threads/the-golden-band-into-the-unknown.68948/page-2#post-427980
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=wip:slag_rifle_v2#slag_rifle_v2
List Any Unapproved Sub-Articles

Slag Shells on Star Army Space Roleplay

stararmy.com stararmy.com
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Nepleslia
Submission Terms
  1. I agree

Slag Rifle V2​

The Slag rifle V2 is semi-automatic direct fire grenade launcher that fires a armor penetrator 20 mm point detonating round. It holds six rounds in a detachable rotary magazine, with an effective range of 600-800 meters. It was designed mainly as an anti-personnel grenade launcher for use against opposition closely grouped together or behind light cover.
Edit

About the Slag Rifle V2​

After fighting Hades Corp remnant onboard the dead Senti ship, The golden band decided it would be best to attempted to remake and modernize the outdated rifles the hades Corp units were using designating them as slag rifles, due to the morbid description of what they were capable to do against the golden band and Senti forces.
 
Upvote 1 Downvote
This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
Here for a physics check!

So the Slag Rifle ammunition is a fairly advanced form of a gyrojet style round. This allows the Slag Rifle to function as a designated marksman form of an RPG repeater.

The physics and math line up, as does the cost, as gyrojet ammunition is notoriously difficult to manufacture and nearly prohibitively expensive. I believe that in its mentioned role (anti-formation and cover denial fire) this weapon is a powerful tool, capable of quickly changing a battlefield in favor of the force utilizing these.

They wouldn't be terribly effective against modern power armor, simply due to inherent armoring protections of the armor, however, they would be a powerful force multiplier, dealing significant damage to the armoring and musculature layers of power armor, allowing lower grade weapons to punch through to neutralize the target. Moreover, it can be used to immobilize light mecha and tanks for an "immobilization kill" that prevents a mecha or tank from being a significant threat.

While I believe this weapon is technically undertiered, it is tiered based on its role, which is area denial and antiformation fire.

Physics check:
PASSED

And now we let the real NTSE bois handle it.
 
Please add art credits.
 
A few small things, you might want to put the dimensions of the ammo on that respective page since they're not listed there, maybe also say the round uses a discarding sabot? Just for the cartridge in the art to make a bit more sense (that's just a possible suggestion, not a demand). And finally the line about sending it back to Nepleslia could use some refinement, because it currently makes it seem like they wouldn't know how to make dual stage gyrojets lol.

I'm also not sure why it's a v2 when there's no v1 on the wiki but that's a minor gripe, put measurements on the ammo page and reword that line about nepleslia a bit and I'm happy to approve it for the nepper market.
 
SirSkully said:
A few small things, you might want to put the dimensions of the ammo on that respective page since they're not listed there, maybe also say the round uses a discarding sabot? Just for the cartridge in the art to make a bit more sense (that's just a possible suggestion, not a demand). And finally the line about sending it back to Nepleslia could use some refinement, because it currently makes it seem like they wouldn't know how to make dual stage gyrojets lol.

I'm also not sure why it's a v2 when there's no v1 on the wiki but that's a minor gripe, put measurements on the ammo page and reword that line about nepleslia a bit and I'm happy to approve it for the nepper market.
Click to expand...
Ill put that down but its called the V2 mostly cause the V1 used to be on the site 5 years ago
 
SirSkully said:
A few small things, you might want to put the dimensions of the ammo on that respective page since they're not listed there, maybe also say the round uses a discarding sabot? Just for the cartridge in the art to make a bit more sense (that's just a possible suggestion, not a demand). And finally the line about sending it back to Nepleslia could use some refinement, because it currently makes it seem like they wouldn't know how to make dual stage gyrojets lol.

I'm also not sure why it's a v2 when there's no v1 on the wiki but that's a minor gripe, put measurements on the ammo page and reword that line about nepleslia a bit and I'm happy to approve it for the nepper market.
Click to expand...
Okay, I've made the edits.
 
Is the ammo caseless? It kind of looks like it. Or am I missing something? At the moment I'm just going purely off the art. Or is it a Gyrojet?
 
Hey Shadow Walker,

A couple of things I noticed that might help, I'm not officially an NTSE reviewer but I used to be.
  • The Ammunition Page - there is a template for Ammunition Ammunition Template on Star Army Space Roleplay
  • The Ammunition Page should have links back to the weapon page and other wiki pages.
  • I fixed some minor spelling and grammar for you (You spelled Nepleslian wrong)
  • On the weapons page and the ammunition page stuff in the top paragraph and the about section could be wikified.
Anyway just thought I'd help out.
 
Andrew said:
Hey Shadow Walker,

A couple of things I noticed that might help, I'm not officially an NTSE reviewer but I used to be.
  • The Ammunition Page - there is a template for Ammunition Ammunition Template on Star Army Space Roleplay
  • The Ammunition Page should have links back to the weapon page and other wiki pages.
  • I fixed some minor spelling and grammar for you (You spelled Nepleslian wrong)
  • On the weapons page and the ammunition page stuff in the top paragraph and the about section could be wikified.
Anyway just thought I'd help out.
Click to expand...
thanks ill get right on that
 
Hi ShadowWalker,

I looked this over, again there needs to be some wikification in the top paragraphs of both pages. Also in the History section, there should be date references. The alignment of your text in the tables needs to be corrected as well. Some grammar, capitalization, and spelling mistakes are still evident on both pages, I fixed some for you. I suggest free Grammarly or a similar app help with the issues. If you need some help, feel free to reach out.
 
Andrew said:
Hi ShadowWalker,

I looked this over, again there needs to be some wikification in the top paragraphs of both pages. Also in the History section, there should be date references. The alignment of your text in the tables needs to be corrected as well. Some grammar, capitalization, and spelling mistakes are still evident on both pages, I fixed some for you. I suggest free Grammarly or a similar app help with the issues. If you need some help, feel free to reach out.
Click to expand...
will do, sorry for the hassle
 
RPG-D RPGfix
Back
Top