Star Army

Star ArmyⓇ is a landmark of forum roleplaying. Opened in 2002, Star Army is like an internet clubhouse for people who love roleplaying, art, and worldbuilding. Anyone 18 or older may join for free. New members are welcome! Use the "Register" button below.

Note: This is a play-by-post RPG site. If you're looking for the tabletop miniatures wargame "5150: Star Army" instead, see Two Hour Wargames.

  • Got suggestions or a cool idea for Star Army? Share it in the new Suggestions Forum and vote on other ideas to let staff know what the community wants.
  • Join the final battle of the Kuvexian War in the Open RP Forum!
  • It's 1月 YE 43 for January and February. IC months advance every 2 OOC months.

Abandoned Submission Spectre Mk.II

Rizzo

Well-Known Member
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=character:candon_howard_suites:spectre_mkii
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Yamatai (except Elysia)
  2. Elysia
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
I have created a monster using technology from both Yamatai and the USO. The production model that this project will hopefully lead to will not be so crazy but this one is getting a huge investment dumped into it. I'll also be putting up a bounty on Candon later as the kind of debt this will incur will absolutely warrant his name on a few hitlists. I'm hoping to get some Nepleslian stories later as Candon tries to fix that bounty issue.
@Wes can I please make a monster?
@Zack can you please validate the FSCs usage of USO tech?
@FrostJaeger I did my best to fit the WepLim. Could you please verify my numbers?

EDIT: I missed a step, need to add hardpoint locations for mounting handheld weapons and equipment as well as teleportation system.

EDIT 2: It's fixed now. Ready for review!
 
Last edited:

Rizzo

Well-Known Member
Anthedon Power Armour (NMX War, TC: 63-11, IC: 687-7647-67) was purchased in YE 38 and modified heavily to become Candon's personal armor of choice!
 

META_mahn

Well-Known Member
Eh, before my time. If wool's getting pulled over my eyes it's not my issue.

Don't reverse engineer it, though. (Good luck doing so anyways; USO isn't a biotech faction.)
 

Rizzo

Well-Known Member
Oh, the USO isn't getting this, this here is one of a kind! The design being sent to SARA isn't something they'd reproduce. The production version is going to be fully Yamataian tech.
Also, I need new art. It hardly looks like the original art anymore.

More also, @Nashoba I forgot you are a Yamataian FM. Wes is busy, would you feel comfortable faction approving this?
 

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
Character Forum Mod
Hello @Rizzo! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ - ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ X ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ - ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ X ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ X ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate
[ X ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ X ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ X ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ - ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ - ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

This uses Star Army Equipment, it is a piece of property of the Star Army, imo. Change destination URL to stararmy:spectre_mkii

Which gravitic drive does it use? Link it earlier if it is the FSC one.

(can boost to 0.63c for up to 60 seconds) <---I removed this. Boosts are not available in the setting.

Can you add something beyond nutrition to the range? Like the systems are operational, too, or no?

It fits in Tier 4, not 5. I put :warning: where it needs to be changed.

I put :warning: where you need to add text or prose.

Can you use SPINE?

Base of the wing hardpoint sounds really flimsy, especially since they are retractable.

Link to Mr. D here: "with the help of his Android for"

"Seeing the potential of the new plans along with the performance data of the old would approve the request on the grounds that it was financed by Candon himself. " (I think you need to add SARA here)

Are you sure you can have the teleportation device?

Who approved the Zesu usage?

No, you may not have this material or tech surrounding it without RP to back it. Uso does not have the ability to know how to do this with Xiulurium, plus that definitely requires more than just a call to SARA: "Xiulurium enamel over the armor plates can be energized to further enhance stealth properties so long as the surface is not chipped or damaged. If this should happen the backup system is the integrated [[faction:uso:section6:electronic_camouflage_system|]] designed by [[faction:uso:section_6|]], which can attempt to fill in the gaps though severe damage will create spots that cannot be covered from radar."

"oxygen is also supplied through the skin of his neck and lungs" (Is he getting oxygen to his lungs through a breathing apparatus?)

CFS is okay to use?

I don't know why you say the GPD on the forearm are Tier 8 when this is on the weapon's page: "Average DR: GPDs are not weapons, but they can inflict damage. Due to the variety of vehicles this device can be equipped to base damage is equal in tier to the size tier of the vehicle it is installed on. There are two modes that can inflict damage." It seems it can go one tier higher than that, later on in the article, but still, too high within the Mk. II article.

Missile launchers and ammunition need their own page.

I fixed some errors-go over my revision, PLEASE.
 

Rizzo

Well-Known Member
Thanks for going through all of that. A lot of this is from the original Anthedon so it might be a bit dated. I'll start going through this list but there are a couple of points I know off my head.

It fits in Tier 4, not 5.
Normally I'd agree, but the wings make operating inside a building a little difficult so I thought it might be more of a medium. Even with the wings retracted it's a little bulky to fit through a door though I guess I could make it taller too, right?

Can you use SPINE?
Are you sure you can have the teleportation device?
Who approved the Zesu usage?
Currently no one, I need to get FM approval for that I didn't want to get too ICly invested if the answer was simply going to be no. I'd rather just know now and save some time.

CFS is okay to use?
It was on the original Anthedon so I assumed it would still be there but the rules have changed a lot since the original article was written.

No, you may not have this material or tech surrounding it without RP to back it. Uso does not have the ability to know how to do this with Xiulurium, plus that definitely requires more than just a call to SARA
EDIT: look, another thing I missed! This is something Candon would be handing the suit over to SARA to work with. SARA would be buildingthe overwhelming majority of this suit.

GPD on the forearm are Tier 8
That is because the suit has networked it's powerful engines and GPDs together for huge effect! How did you miss that? It's not like I completely never put it in the article because I'm a klutz who completely forgot that you're not a mind reader... maybe I should actually put that GPD stuff in writing.
 

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
Character Forum Mod
Okay, cool is it ready for another read-through?
 

META_mahn

Well-Known Member
I actually need to check with @FrostJaeger on the DR for an Anthedon. He’s the one dealing with the Elysia DR update.

(HEY THAT MEANS YOU FROST GET IN HERE.)

2/3 Elysian FMs are also okay with the use of the incredibly outdated Anthedon. The third is @Arbitrated and I’m pretty sure she’s ok with it.

(Like damn. The Tethys is better and it’s still bad compared to modern armors.)
 

Rizzo

Well-Known Member
@Ametheliana ready for review. It's seen some big changes and needs new art still.

Oh I forgot to tag @Wes. I need FM approval to use Mindy and Daisy accessories during SAoY authorized missions.
 
Marking as "On Hold," as it's been a week without a reply from the submitter.

@Rizzo - I don't mean to be rude or anything, but if you don't reply to this thread by August 28th, 2018 I'm going to declare it "Abandoned" and move it to the Rejected or Abandoned Submissions sub-forum with the stipulation that it can be re-submitted in the future.
 
Submission marked as Abandoned due to a lack of response from the submitter; it may, however, be re-submitted in the future.
 
Last edited:

Rizzo

Well-Known Member
This thread is ready for review. I just needed some time away to recover from an abusive member.
 
Top