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Approved Submission Star Army Rifle, Type 41 SOAR

Glein

Well-Known Member
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=stararmy:weapons:type_41_soar
List Any Unapproved Sub-Articles
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Yamatai (except Elysia)
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
This submission (including Ammo) is ready. The reason for the URL change is due to it originally being uploaded as the Type-34, which isn't allowed. So the finalized URL would be Type-41 due to it being accepted in YE41.
 
This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
At this time, I believe it would. If however it'd been in service for some time as I had originally conceived, it would be likely to be available in a modified version for civilian sell.
 
Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ❌ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ❌ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ❌ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✅ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Here's some fixes this article still needs:

It would be helpful if you explained YIRS. The minimum that articles with it have is the acronym spelled out in parentheses: YIRS (Yamatai Integrated Rail System).

Because it received a B model in YE 40, it sounds like it entered service before this year? Am I reading this right? It goes on to say that, "It would enter full issue status in YE 41...", though. I think you missed the point of creating items for current year. It is a question of "why didn't this show up in past RP if it was available in the past?" If I am wrong about it being available before current year, clear that up in the article, then.

I feel like you really want it to be called SOAR, but it doesn't seem like you describe what that acronym could mean beyond it makes identification easier, but it doesn't make it easier if there's not a reason behind it. Can you figure out a reason behind that?

Link things like Hinomaru and the color swatch when you say "standard colors of the Star Army weaponry" please.

The ammunition doesn't follow proper wiki format as it has images directly after headers @SirSkully I think is the one who wrote that, so maybe he could fix that. I'll check that page after those corrections are made. The article for the rifle lacks any formatting errors that I can see, though.

If you make a civilian version, be sure to kick the black tips out for it or switch the Zesu out (ammo).

When these fixes are made, please post a reply here so I can re-check the article. Thank you!
 
Glein inserted the images, not me, though now I have kicked them over a space to be in-line with the beginning of the article's text - let me know if this works or not
 
It doesn't work that way. There needs to be text or prose after a header. Buller points, images, charts, those things are not text or prose.
 
Don't mind if I poke at some of the points (okay, maybe the majority of them...) here, since the ones I'll poke are easily answered here. @Ametheliana
  • I had at one point included the acronym, but in trying to clean it up, had removed it. SOAR stood for SOFT Assault Rifle.
  • YIRS would be easier to do if I could figure out what template best fits it. That has been the main reason it has yet to get clarification/work on it.
  • Some weapons actually get different model iterations even during development, hence why it has a 'b' model even before being issued in full. As for why it's mentioned to go into full issue in YE41 instead of sooner, testing and the like. I could go into detail in the wiki entry if desired.
  • I have the look of the weapon in the standard color swatch with Hinomaru as the images you see. I was referring to those aspects for when it's in more gunmetal colors. I can add an image of that variant if desired.
  • The ammo was started by Skully, but he handed it off to me once it was mostly done, and I put it into the state it's in now. I can correct this.
  • Due to things, there is not a civilian version available at this time, and probably won't for a while.
 
For the acronym, it would be more catchy as SOAR if that were in the article.
For YIRS, I just asked for you to clarify in the article what it is with the spelled out acronym. I am not asking anything more, so please do at least that.
Explain, then, that it had that name during testing.
Okay, don't link the colors then, but link Hinomaru.

Generally, if you can correct things in article rather than explain correcting them, do that, for the future, Glein.

That works, Skuwu. I will look over the article more in depth now, but one thing stands out on a cursory glance- SAoY doesn't have access to toledorium.
 
That seems to be the only issue with the ammo page, @SirSkully. Thanks for fixing it up and putting the work in to it. That goes for both of you! I may give you a list of changes, but only because I want this to fit into the setting and be used, it's a really cool looking, and likely will be a cool shooting, rifle!
 
How is this project coming guys?
 
At the moment, pending a template to be approved before I can finish the last big hurdle (YIRS), as all other aspects have been touched upon per Ame's checklist and at taken by myself and Skully to correct the issues.

Once the component template is green-lit, I can move to finish the last concern And brought up, which is detailing the use, purpose, and value in function of the Yamatai Integrated Rail System.
 
SOFT units and SAINT special operations (which are doctrinally SOFTs) almost always deploy in armor, so, for them, this would be a secondary weapon at best due to its low damage output for power armor combat. Plus, it uses real ammunition, which make it a hard sell for secret missions compared to what already exists. I can't speak for Star Army Command SOFTs, but SAINT SOFTs in particular would shy away from any weapon that uses solid ammunition.

So, as a minor suggestion, I think you should change the opening prose to lead with the unit who will use this weapon most: the Rangers.

Now: "issued to dedicated SOFT units, as an option for SAINT units deployed for field operations, and as the standard rifle for Ranger units operating outside of power armor suits."

Suggested: "issued as the standard rifle for Ranger units operating outside of power armor suits, and available as an option to SOFT and SAINT units deployed for field operations."
 
Look people, the Star Army doesn't really need a special weapon for special forces of any type. Let's just make this a general item that the Star Army of Yamatai as a whole has access to and SOFTs or other units can use it on their missions as needed. All this arguing about who will use it is really aggravating. It's a good weapon. Let's approve it and let the usage be worked out in RP.
 
Dropped the "SOAR" shorthand (retained only in the full internal development name with it's full moniker), and reworked the overall fluff to have it be standard issue to Ranger forces, Rikugun units not operating in power armor, and as an option for SOFT and SAINT forces to use if so desired.

EDIT: I would also like to be clear, as the shorthand is being dropped, the URL would not include it as well, as it could cause confusion. Resultant URL would be [https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:weapons:type_41]
 
A mistake on my part, I didn't see the rail system was added or forgot. Temporarily moving back to setting submissions until I can properly look over that article.

As I told Glein in discord, the intro paragraph is still just the template for the rail article. I see other fixes need to be made, so I want to give it a proper review.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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