Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...
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] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
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] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and the article template. Is all the information for struct present?
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] 3. The article follows our wiki-style guidelines, including No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
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] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
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] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
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] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels.
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] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and credited in the OOC section.
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] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
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] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[
] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.
The main heading.
- We need to get away from putting nomenclature, especially alternative nomenclatures in main headings:
- ======Storm Rifle II======
- If nomenclature is insisted in the main heading it should be the standard nomenclature.
- No brackets in the main heading, please.
The article should have a one-sentence explanation at the top under the main heading.
- ie. The Storm Rifle II is the successor of the [[faction:ndc:guns:storm_rifle|Storm Rifle]] made by [[corp:bwe:black_wing_enterprises]]. It became available in [[timeline:ye_43]].
The About Sections
- The rest of the "top matter" should go under the "About section" - So it goes Main Heading, the one-sentence explanation, followed by the About section.
- The About section is very long in the tooth, so for readability maybe do: About The Storm Rifle II (Intro) and a History (History and background of the product) subheading (Especially since once the Weapons template is updated it will be made to meet Wes's requirement to have a History section at the top of the article)
General Statistics
- Standard Product Nomenclature should be added (If needed we can provide help with that)
Missed Opportunities:
- There are a lot of instances of missed linking to other articles. This provides connectivity to the rest of the SARPiverse.
Overall:
- I think the readability of the article needs to be improved.
- We understand the item is "Not for Civilian Sale", but prices should be assigned to the value of the items is known. (This helps with struct)
Great article, cool art. Just needs a few tweaks to bring it up to standard.