The StarArmy Humor Section

[AlfieIrving]

Hey, fellas! I've created this thread for us to share a few full-hearted laughs, something to lighten up the day when the going gets rough or you just needed something to pick you up from a gloomy day. Let me start this up with a few shorts:

My friends made fun of me because they found out that my girlfriend is imaginary..

Jokes on them, they're imaginary too.

 

[AlfieIrving]

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"

 

[AlfieIrving]

Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need..

...just five more minutes.

 

[Ace]

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer and a... bag of peanuts."
The bartender replies, "Why the big pause?"

 

[Yoshiro Tanaka]

I walked in to a bar once...it really hurt.

 

[Yoshiro Tanaka]

A blonds is working at a farm and one day she sees a fire at her neighbor's farm. She calls 911 and talks to the dispatcher. "911, what is your emergency?" The dispacther asked. "Like there is totes like a fire at my neighbor's house." The blonde said. "Ok, can you tell us how to get there?" The dispatcher responded.

The blonde stood thinking for a minute. "Duh, fire truck." She said.

(If you are gonna face palm, now is the time. )