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Approved Character [Tsumi] Kalandras Ebonheart-Ae Slavana-Ra Verka

IQ

Game Master
Alrighty, thanks for posting! There's a few things that need some fine tuning.


The first thing that jumps out is the name, it doesn't really work that way. The name informs where they were born. Even if it's just one year apart, Kalandras would either have to become younger to reflect being born post-ascendancy to have a ship name, or have a regular name for Tsumi that were born on Teryan.

Another, though more stylistic, issue is presented under the social connections tab. There's no linebreaks, which makes it a bit confusing to look at. While it isn't something I'd usually hold off from GM approving the character, the aforementioned and next issue do, so I felt like it'd be best to address it here.

And lastly, the LASR and Styrling armour set. The Tsumi main fleet simply has no access to it. Standard service rifles are the Warmaker and the Warbringer, which I will link below. Thus far, there are no real armour articles out there, in the plot, armour is simply by player's design and choice, so there's no need for a linked armour set. You can make a small subsection to write out what he wears into combat and how it looks, if you want to. But it isn't a requirement at all.

When these changes are made, I'd love to GM approve this character. He's interesting and I can't wait to see how he'll perform and react given the nightmares Tsumi soldiers face on a near-daily basis.

Edit for Warmaker link; https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:neshaten:tsumi:guns:twf-1a:b_warmaker
 

BloodyScarlet

Game Master
Okay changed him to be a year younger so his story was similar just wasn't born before but just after, changed the gear and made the social connections a bit easier to read.
 
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