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  • 📅 February and March 2024 are YE 46.2 in the RP.

Approved Character Vergil DiPaolo

Good job on the biography. The main suggestions I have is to be more clear with the timeline, adding specific years to the history. The current year is YE 35.

Is he still on medication? I ask because I think the Star Army might not accept someone with severe mental trauma, especially if the person had a medical/psychological condition.
 
It reads like he still is. He does sound like a liability. We've got some crazy people in my plot but no one who needs to take meds to stop them from going berserk. That's... a serious medical problem. People like that should be monitored, not allowed to roam free.
 
I'm not saying he shouldn't be free. But the Star Army has high standards and will not accept someone that they feel might be a liability.
 
The mental instability reads like an attempt to balance out an otherwise physically solid, imposing character.

I think that physical prowess can be better balanced by being decreased some and restoring some of his mental fortitude. Physicality isn't that important in the Star Army. The discipline is worth keeping, however.
 
I wouldn't say he was a complete liability the meds do help him with his nightmares. I could keep his traumatic past and eliminate the medication he needs and I'll add the proper birth date according to the timeline.
 
The character write-up is pretty solid, although, I agree that the night terrors and the psychosis seem to be a flaw intended to balance him out.

Many of the male characters in the setting are powerful men but I haven't seen a character with a need to take medication outside of a drug addition. I would almost think that having a berserker in powered armor again might be entertaining.

I do think that exploring the exploring a psychologically imbalanced character would be interesting to write, although, partially frustrating to interact with. Perhaps, he has centered himself through his discipline and training so that he has control for these instabilities except when faced with certain triggers that erode his control?

I have seen characters work through nightmares and interpersonal problems before but I have always found it more interesting when the character goes through those motions in roleplay. I think having a character on the brink of snapping that could be pushed or pulled in either direction gives you as a player and writer more room to explore and write.

Having that darkness lingering under the surface kept in check by discipline just seems more interesting to me. =)

He is missing an occupation. What did he join the Star Army to do for work? With his background, I would almost suggest infantry or military police.
 
Kim said:
The character write-up is pretty solid, although, I agree that the night terrors and the psychosis seem to be a flaw intended to balance him out.

Many of the male characters in the setting are powerful men but I haven't seen a character with a need to take medication outside of a drug addition. I would almost think that having a berserker in powered armor again might be entertaining.

I do think that exploring the exploring a psychologically imbalanced character would be interesting to write, although, partially frustrating to interact with. Perhaps, he has centered himself through his discipline and training so that he has control for these instabilities except when faced with certain triggers that erode his control?

I have seen characters work through nightmares and interpersonal problems before but I have always found it more interesting when the character goes through those motions in roleplay. I think having a character on the brink of snapping that could be pushed or pulled in either direction gives you as a player and writer more room to explore and write.

Having that darkness lingering under the surface kept in check by discipline just seems more interesting to me. =)

He is missing an occupation. What did he join the Star Army to do for work? With his background, I would almost suggest infantry or military police.

Thank you for bringing the occupation up, I can't believe I completely forgot that!!! I'll add it in right away, as for his mental state it is funny you mention that because that was exactly was I was going to do. Use his training methods and discipline to be what keeps him in check.
 
Alright. Give us a post when you've updated things.
 
Hey everyone, I've added the necessary changed to the application, please review and let me know if there is anything else I need to change. I am open to suggestions
 
I think this looks good! Again, you did a great job on this character biography and it shows that you did put a lot of time and thought into making him.

I definitely recommend this character for approval, but as I am no longer an official character and setting moderator, I cannot give you the final stamp. =)
 
I see no other issues, so Approved.

Kindly create your User page using the link the character, and I will get your orders created later this afternoon.
 
To create your user page, go here and click Create This Page.
 
Unfortunately this character's player last logged in on Feb 14, 2013, so this character is long-since abandoned.

Due to this, I'm going to adopt the character to get him fixed up again and because I'm trying to phase out the NH-22C species.
 
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