Star Army

Star ArmyⓇ is a landmark of forum roleplaying. Opened in 2002, Star Army is like an internet clubhouse for people who love roleplaying, art, and worldbuilding. Anyone 18 or older may join for free. New members are welcome! Use the "Register" button below.

Note: This is a play-by-post RPG site. If you're looking for the tabletop miniatures wargame "5150: Star Army" instead, see Two Hour Wargames.

Approved Character [YSS Kaiyö II] Dalida La Rostislavovna

Ametheliana

Sensei
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
FM of the Iromakuanhe
Game Master
SAoY members must be the equivalent of 20 years old when enlisting.

Also, I note that your links are incorrect and are like outsourced links when they just need to be like this:

[[stararmy:skills:common]]

The end part of the url surrounded by two brackets on either side.

Otherwise, looks good. One thing I want to see is in addition to her common skills, an engineering one would help. Thanks for submitting a character!
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
FM of Neshaten
Game Master
I’ve heard you were interested in making more characters for yamatain plots, my only concern is that details of history especially when it comes to leaving. Unfortunately the reasoning behind this one will need to be altered as no yamatain soldier has visited neshaten.

I do appreciate the build up with the brother character however and considering she’s leaving exclusively to join a foreign power being seen as a traitor might be a little over the top but still plausible if his personality ends up being very patriotic.

I cant go to much more into it so please feel free to get my discord infrom from someone who has my main as its tge one i use on phone
 

Ametheliana

Sensei
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
FM of the Iromakuanhe
Game Master
Sorry for missing that. It could be changed to like, a dinner guest talking about their own family member who had joined saoy and speaking about secondhand knowledge of it?
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
FM of Neshaten
Game Master
Except only one nesh has ever joined sa, there’s definitely other ways to achieve it but I’m pressed for time so it’ll probably be a few hours.
 

RaWolfe

Site Supporter
Game Master
Character Forum Mod
SAoY members must be the equivalent of 20 years old when enlisting.

Also, I note that your links are incorrect and are like outsourced links when they just need to be like this:

[[stararmy:skills:common]]

The end part of the url surrounded by two brackets on either side.

Otherwise, looks good. One thing I want to see is in addition to her common skills, an engineering one would help. Thanks for submitting a character!
  • I changed the age
  • I changed the outsourced links
  • I added engineering skills
I’ve heard you were interested in making more characters for yamatain plots, my only concern is that details of history especially when it comes to leaving. Unfortunately the reasoning behind this one will need to be altered as no yamatain soldier has visited neshaten.

I do appreciate the build up with the brother character however and considering she’s leaving exclusively to join a foreign power being seen as a traitor might be a little over the top but still plausible if his personality ends up being very patriotic.

I cant go to much more into it so please feel free to get my discord infrom from someone who has my main as its tge one i use on phone
  • I removed the lecture part and went with the suggestion of Ametheliana, overhearing great stories of the Yamataian making her read more about it and let her go that road. If that is not acceptable I will require to DM you tomorrow as I got to go to bed now lol
  • I dimmed down the attitude of her brother, yes he is very patriotic and that is my aim for him. But I didn't suspect that it was this sensittive. I changed it so it seemed he is taking distance.
club24#3844 is his discord, @RaWolfe
Yes I know, thank you :)
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
FM of Neshaten
Game Master
The issue with having talk of yamatai is that the nesh dont view tgem as some amazing power or nation and don’t have any connection to them so it will probably need modification
 

RaWolfe

Site Supporter
Game Master
Character Forum Mod
The issue with having talk of yamatai is that the nesh dont view tgem as some amazing power or nation and don’t have any connection to them so it will probably need modification
I can modify it to something she read about and kept it to herself. Her reason is to follow her big sister ?
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
FM of Neshaten
Game Master
that would possibly work better, they wouldn't have too many documents on yamatai other than basic info about the country as a whole but wanting to follow in the footsteps of family always works,
 

RaWolfe

Site Supporter
Game Master
Character Forum Mod
Okay I updated it so that she was concerned about her sister and in combination with her passion of the stars she left the planet behind. When arriving in Yamatai space, she noticed that the only quickest way to find her sister is to join the Star Army (plus her curiosity of lots of tech)
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
FM of Neshaten
Game Master
History is looking good, sorry to make you jump through all the hoops with that one it’s partially why I usually end up helping people write foxes but nevertheless we got there in the end.

You’ll still have to take care of those links or ask someone really nicely or I might be able to by the weekend but tgey still do their job for now.

The only other point I’ll bring up is to do with enlisting. It doesn’t fall within my jurisdiction anymore but I believe there’s a basic training of a few months for yam soldiers, im not sure how you want to handle it ame but if yam would support it tgey could simply appraise her current skill thanks to youth corps and give her a more fast tracked training to get her up to speed with yam tech and styles.
 

RaWolfe

Site Supporter
Game Master
Character Forum Mod
Thats okay, thats what reviewing is for to dent it out a bit, I believe I did mention that she did the basic training completely and ease due the Youth Corps. Do I need to put it in there better?

Also what links? I thought I fixed that :O
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
FM of Neshaten
Game Master
My bad I might have missed it then, and ame explained the links before

Currently yours are [[stararmy.com/wiki ect -pagename-]]

When they should be [[pagename]]

Have a look at pretty much any article and you should be able to compare their link code against yours which should help. If you need more assistance you’ll have to ask someone else as its 11 and im going to sleep lol
 

RaWolfe

Site Supporter
Game Master
Character Forum Mod
My bad I might have missed it then, and ame explained the links before

Currently yours are [[stararmy.com/wiki ect -pagename-]]

When they should be [[pagename]]

Have a look at pretty much any article and you should be able to compare their link code against yours which should help. If you need more assistance you’ll have to ask someone else as its 11 and im going to sleep lol
Alright I will take a look at the coding, the Daur site is in your opinion good?

Sleep well
 

Ametheliana

Sensei
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
FM of the Iromakuanhe
Game Master
A couple of the links were wonky because of not enough brackets, I added the acronym ER to the year of her birth per Neshaten year schemes, and just changed a formatting thing within her box. Overall, looks great and thank you clubbo for helping us and for your patience- it means a good deal to me!

On to one thing I want to mention. She would have undergone four and a half months of engineering training as the training methods and times wiki states. It's not that you need to mention that, though I am fine with some small addition about it. I just want you to know what would ahve happened to your character.

That's not a request for change, though, so: approved!
 
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