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Approved Character [YSS Komainu] Carthage Saksen-coburg
- Thread starter IQ
- Start date
I don't have any objections to the character from an FM standpoint. I request that the SAINT Conditioning Package be mentioned somewhere in the the bio just to be clear.
Thanks for making a Star Army character!
Thanks for making a Star Army character!
Primitive Polygon
🎖️ Game Master
Howdy IQ. Yeah, I really like the grim personality and unique goals of this character. Scary Elf Mom who is both a spy and a queen.
There are a few small things that need to be brought up, though:
-The personality seems to have a lot of crossover with the history, leaving it kind of top-heavy... Seems like a lot of the information kinda ends up being repeated?
-Couple of small grammar things that might get flagged. Like starting sentences with 'and', 'or' and 'but'.
-SAINT was only founded in YE22, so I don't know how 'young' they could have actually been when they joined... According to deep lore on the wiki (pre-2007), it also seems that they would have been a slave to the Republic of Xiuluria if they lived pre-YE12. That's the year that the proto-Star Army factions moved onto the planet and freed them... Since you wanted them to stay a bit mysterious anyway, maybe just make a vague allude to them working for a PMC or something in the time between?
-Did that thumbs up include the custom Mindy at the bottom of the page, @Wes ?
There are a few small things that need to be brought up, though:
-The personality seems to have a lot of crossover with the history, leaving it kind of top-heavy... Seems like a lot of the information kinda ends up being repeated?
-Couple of small grammar things that might get flagged. Like starting sentences with 'and', 'or' and 'but'.
-SAINT was only founded in YE22, so I don't know how 'young' they could have actually been when they joined... According to deep lore on the wiki (pre-2007), it also seems that they would have been a slave to the Republic of Xiuluria if they lived pre-YE12. That's the year that the proto-Star Army factions moved onto the planet and freed them... Since you wanted them to stay a bit mysterious anyway, maybe just make a vague allude to them working for a PMC or something in the time between?
-Did that thumbs up include the custom Mindy at the bottom of the page, @Wes ?
Well, a custom Mindy might make sense for a unique SAINT character like this.
Also, the Republic of Xiuluria is the Elf nation, it was Grand Star Empire that was doing the enslaving of Elves that weren't sheltered by that nation (mostly the ones in the forests near modern-day Pagoda no Uesu) until the practice was banned for obvious human rights reasons.
Also, the Republic of Xiuluria is the Elf nation, it was Grand Star Empire that was doing the enslaving of Elves that weren't sheltered by that nation (mostly the ones in the forests near modern-day Pagoda no Uesu) until the practice was banned for obvious human rights reasons.
Primitive Polygon
🎖️ Game Master
Okay, thanks to the quick answer. Guess it's up to IQ which one of those situations the character actually grew up in.
Primitive Polygon
🎖️ Game Master
Everything seems good to me. Approved for sure.
