Edwin is a character played by Teddo.
Weight: 124 lbs.
Build and Skin Color: Very wiry for a Nepleslian, Edwin has a slightly stooped posture, and shoulders that sag forward. His arms and legs look a bit large for his body, and they are very thin, giving him the appearance of some bizarre puppet. Which fits, since he moves like one. His legs seem to move independently of his body; it seems as if he glides along the ground. This is, of course, only truly noticeable when he is wearing his floor-length lab coat. He also tends to gesticulate more in spastic flicks than fluid movements. His face has sharp features, and his cheekbones are well defined. He has a long, straight nose, and he stares over it with wild, green, buggy eyes.
Hair Color and Style: Edwin has dirty blonde hair that sticks up in every which direction. He hasn't combed in years. Most of his hair is roughly 3-4 inches long.
Distinguishing Features: Wiry frame, messy hair, unusual movement, maniac expression.
Personality:Eccentric doesn't quite describe it. Mister Shanton is so bizarre that it seems the only reason he isn't clinically insane is because nobody has come up with a name for his condition. He walks around with a maniac grin stretching as far across his face as physically possible, eyes bugging out of their sockets. He has a very hunched posture, and is often seen pressing the tips of his fingers together and cackling insanely. He is obsessed with his work, always keeping his research closely guarded, even from his superiors. His tonality is somewhat unsettling, and his albeit condescending attitude is fairly normal, despite the bizarre little narratives he always mutters to himself. He seems to think everyone around him is sub-human, calling them 'simians' and the like. His biting sarcasm can be quite clever and amusing. It's difficult, but possible, to get along with him. It helps not to speak. Also, he has a massive collection of troll dolls, which he lords over constantly. He is obsessed with red bean paste foods, especially: daifuku, dango, dorayaki, and youkan. This obsession is second only to his undying love for CHEESE. His diet essentially consists of four food groups: bean paste, peanut butter, cheese, and cinnamon. Everything he eats has at least one of these smeared all over it.
Likes: weapons, the destruction caused by weapons, himself, madly scientific things, cackling, highly dangerous experiments, troll dolls, sadism, minor masochism (rather enjoys getting hurt by his dreadfully unsafe inventions), going into head-banging convulsions while listening to Aethersperm, colorful hair, red bean paste, peanut butter, cinnamon, cheese, CHEESE, going into convulsions (honestly, this was conceived completely separately from the Aethersperm one… lol), red-heads, naiveties, naive red-heads, and chaos.
Dislikes: ORDER. Also: stupid people, most people in general, but especially stupid people, safety protocols, safety standards, military bigotry towards his perfectly unsafe creations, knives scraping against toast, coffee, lactose intolerance, feminists, spinal injuries, head trauma (only the permanent kind), teeny boppers, lawyers, McNeppie's, hygiene, garbage, dirty dishes, rank smells, smoking, psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, orderlies, sedatives, straight jackets, padded rooms, dislocated shoulders, locked doors, uncooperative hostages, negotiating, being called crazy, having blood splattered all over him on the one freaking day he decides to wear his only white shirt, police, tracking dogs, helicopters, rubber bullets, mud, cold rivers, tracking dogs that can f#$%ing swim, dog bites, breaking his knuckles, finding dry wood, lighting fires, cauterizing wounds, the smell of burning dog fur, the taste of dog meat, sleeping on hard surfaces, being woken up at 3 o'clock in the morning, persistent pursuers, being rained on, running in the dark on uneven and slippery terrain, tripping, sprained ankles, dragging himself through mud, hiding under pricker bushes, being stuck by prickers, the effort of sneaking up on people (especially while wet, muddy, injured, and angry), the Vulcan neck pinch, being elbowed in the gut, being thrown to the ground, wrestling, having his hand bitten, waiting for someone to suffocate, being kicked and scratched, hiding bodies, living in the wilderness for weeks on end while avoiding detection, people looking at him funny when he walks into town wearing a bear pelt, having his bear pelts confiscated by police, being questioned by police, having his criminal identity discovered, killing police officers in front of dozens of witnesses, finding a space shuttle, find the owner of a space shuttle, shuttle owners unwilling to surrender their shuttles, having to scream at people to get what he wants, resorting to violence, stomping limbs against the curb, people begging for mercy, people who don't listen when he tells them to shut the f$#% up, curb-stomping faces in, being repeatedly pursued by police, starting up piece of crap shuttles, finding out a shuttle is a piece of crap after spending half an hour vigorously beating someone for it, piloting piece of crap shuttles, anti-aircraft weapons, being shot at, leaving Nepleslia, going FTL in a ship that's SAF (Slow As F#$, Yamataian border patrols, explaining the cause for being pursued by half a dozen E1 escorts, being questioned about allegations of criminal activity, people not believing his BS stories about being an unlucky Elysian merchant, avoiding the fire of hostile ships with superior maneuverability, escaping into nebulae, evading patrol ships, BSing docking clearance codes, landing piece of crap shuttles, fleeing star ports, the planet Tami, selling his favorite bear pelt because of financial needs, finding someone willing to buy a bear pelt, people looking at him funny for crying at the loss of a bear pelt, finding temporary lodgings, temporary lodgings, forging identities, finding employment, employment, finding permanent lodgings, living in scummy condos, working at McNeppie's, serving customers, being fired because he scares customers, finding a job worthy of his talents, BSing a portfolio, falsifying documents, job applications, waiting to hear back from people, making himself look tidy and sane for an entire interview, job interviews, being told “we'll get back to you on that,” waiting for people to get back to him, paying rent, being evicted, living in air ducts for a week and a half, jumping out of an air duct every time a telephone rings, finally receiving a phone call he's been waiting for only to be offered an intern position, people who have the audacity to hire him as an INTERN, biting his tongue, putting up with things he dislikes, being an intern, having to work his way up from being an intern to a senior R&D designer, fighting tooth and nail to get a private and peaceful basement lab, working on Mondays, DISLIKES THE PAIN IN THE ASS CRAP HE HAD TO GO THROUGH TO GET TO WHERE HE IS.
Goals: Either to make a weapon capable of annihilating the entire galaxy, or to find a way to successfully combine red bean paste, peanut butter, cheese, and cinnamon into the perfect snack food.
Edwin had two fantastically uninteresting parents named Bob and Louise. They died from head cancer. His mother caught it from his father. No, seriously! Sadly enough, while living in the basement of their house, one of Edwin's early experiments went awry. His father accidentally went downstairs without a lead-lined suit, and was irradiated. By the time Edwin warned him, it was too late. His father soon contaminated his mother. It ended quickly. The central nervous system was especially affected by the radiation, and cell deformities developed at a rapid pace. Within days, Edwin's parents died. Of head cancer. Edwin was rather displeased with this course of events, but moved on with his life nevertheless.
When Edwin lost his parents in YE 20 to a tragic case of head cancer, he was mildly devastated. He liquidated all of his inherited assets, and used them to pay for a formal education.
Edwin pursued six years of intensive study at 'The Center.' He honed many of his mad scientist talents there. Though he shares some of their slightly unsound methodology, he does not feel very strong kinship with the organization. Edwin, therefore, sought employment elsewhere upon finishing his studies in YE 26.
After a series of frustrating misunderstandings, Edwin was forced to leave Nepleslia quite suddenly in early YE 29. He traveled to the Tami System, where, after a stint working at McNeppie’s, spent a brief period of unemployment living in ventilation ducts. Edwin finally landed a job with Origin Industries in late YE 30, and quickly reached a prominent position.
Edwin has mastered the skills required to conceptualize, design, and build just about anything. His areas of focus generally include military munitions, starships and systems, and ludicrous inventions of bizarre purpose (ex. Lasagna-Ham Condenser, or LHC). Due to his extensive engineering background, Edwin has no difficulty maintaining, fixing, or 'enhancing'1) just about anything, most of which he builds himself.
Statistics, quantum physics, dimensional theory, theoretical physics, trig, calculus, algebra, geometry, blah blah blah, etc, etc. Mastery of every field of study (excluding the ones created by quacks).
Due to a harsh crash-course introduction to wilderness survival, Edwin is highly capable of surviving in many temperate environments. He has the profound skill to kill and skin bears with his bare hands, becoming very attached to the hides. Note that, when in survival situations, Edwin reverts to a very primal state, becoming highly violent and impulsive.
Considering he MAKES them, Edwin can use practically any technology he gets his hands on. He is intimately familiar with Yamataian and Nepleslian tech, but needs to do a bit of tinkering to figure out foreign technology.
Has a complex understanding of precisely how xenobiology interacts with different technologies, as well as comprehensive knowledge of how to mutilate creatures for the sake of science (courtesy of The Center). Seems to be an absolute expert on bears. Knows how to skin/mount/tan his trophies… if that's considered a biological skill.
Edwin is capable of advanced materials manipulation and energy conversion techniques. He is capable of creating new substances, altering chemical properties, creating different forms of energy, and applying chemistry to weapons systems. Edwin also counts 'culinary skills' under this category, due to the way he approaches cooking. For additional information, see Demolitions.
98% of what Edwin makes goes 'boom.' Whether it's meant to or not. Though it's generally quite intentional. Edwin tends to be of the school of thought that the easiest way to prepare food is to throw it in the middle of a fusion reaction. He quite possibly misunderstands the meaning of the term 'fusion food.' Edwin is skilled at making and handling bombs, and knows all of the safety precautions involved with using them. Whether he FOLLOWS the safety precautions, of course, is a different story.
|Crate of Lorath Missile Warheads - High Explosive (Pirating the UOC, TC: 73-72, IC: 5313-849-137)|
|Big Box of Latex and Silicone 'Devices' (Pirating the UOC, TC: 8-77, IC: 673-1289-85)|
|Mysterious Robot - It Keeps Beeping and Saying 'Home' In A Longing Digital Voice (Pirating the UOC, TC: 79-51, IC: 4086-1842-121)|
|Jar of Pico-Jelly (Pirating the UOC, TC: 67-81, IC: 5484-3216-140)|
|Lo-Car - Elderly Edition (A Slow Car) (Pirating the UOC, TC: 57-86, IC: 4959-3583-137)|
|Mysterious Robot - It Keeps Beeping and Saying 'Home' In A Longing Digital Voice (Pirating the UOC, TC: 47-51, IC: 2454-2505-93)|
|Jar of Pico-Jelly (Pirating the UOC, TC: 48-81, IC: 3945-4755-124)|
|Broken Bicycle (Pirating the UOC, TC: 76-40, IC: 3097-2737-107)|
|Jug of Pico-Jelly (Pirating the UOC, TC: 56-82, IC: 4649-5715-132)|
|Box of Data Storage Devices - Contains Useless Novels (Pirating the UOC, TC: 20-81, IC: 1677-6294-99)|
|Expensive Pair of Pants (Pirating the UOC, TC: 41-12, IC: 508-1005-49)|
|1 crate Constriction Bands (Pirating the UOC, TC: 87-61, IC: 5277-5242-138)|
|Mysterious Robot - Its Leaking Radiation! (Pirating the UOC, TC: 66-54, IC: 3555-4917-113)|
|Mysterious Robot - It… It Has Blood Stains On It (Pirating the UOC, TC: 79-53, IC: 4165-4933-123)|
|Shuttle's Plasma Reactor - Broken (Pirating the UOC, TC: 20-94, IC: 1937-8893-112)|
|Elaborate golden desk lamp (Pirating, TC: 22-75, IC: 1707-207-95)|
|2 crates various marital aids (Pirating, TC: 34-60, IC: 2063-597-90)|
|Large Crate of Nepleslian “SPEED” Energy/Anti-Sleep Soda! (Pirating, TC: 79-64, IC: 5113-697-134)|
|Telephone line and outlets (Pirating, TC: 67-94, IC: 6355-3723-153)|
|1 Fireproof Balaclava (Pirating, TC: 51-84, IC: 4341-4257-129)|
|Electrical wire and outlets (Pirating, TC: 91-95, IC: 8702-5187-176)|
|Foam making device (Pirating, TC: 98-50, IC: 4957-3107-137)|
|Nepleslian Mystery Sausage (Pirating, TC: 14-18, IC: 309-1317-31)|
|Anti-Insect (Direct) (Pirating, TC: 97-37, IC: 3549-2758-123)|
|Box of heavy duty trash bags (Pirating, TC: 5-70, IC: 402-6357-75)|
|Wad of burnt plastic (S Pirating, TC: 93-1, IC: 57-189-83)|
|Shipment of cookies (S Pirating, TC: 32-13, IC: 473-1786-42)|
|Box of office supplies (S Pirating, TC: 45-11, IC: 507-2048-51)|
|Stack of Car Tires (S Pirating, TC: 83-65, IC: 5369-12472-139)|
|PRISM Inert Organic Storage Unit (S Pirating, TC: 89-75, IC: 6732-2457-154)|
|Partially burnt cushion (S Pirating, TC: 99-15, IC: 1443-1392-103)|
Edwin is a Senior Employee at origin, earning - 400 KS - per week.
(OOC) Edwin entered IC service on May 5, 2009.
He collects his paychecks methodically, every saturday at 4:21:23:002.1 pm (he times it very carefully). His last paycheck was… nonexistent?
Last Paycheck: See below (31=2009)
|300 KS||Old McNeppies Salary/Savings|
|700 KS||+400 KS||5/9/31||Paycheck|
|1100 KS||+400 KS||5/16/31||Paycheck|
|Current Total||2800 KS|